Men are assumed as predators even without any bad behaviour by them. It happens across geographical boundaries. These prejudices exist and men are forced to tolerate this bias in silence. In a recent case, a man expressed his experience of treated like a predator to an article that listed different ways men are treated in biased way.
His comment goes like this –
“You have forgotten that many men are assumed “predators” automatically by default of being male. This really doesn’t happen to women as a group. I have that dilemma often living in the community with mothers with children. I am gay but more times than I can even address these women have assumed me a potential danger to them and/or their female children.
You have no idea how discriminatory that feels and worst it is seen as acceptable for many of them to behave this way! The most recent event– me watering common greens — and a woman telling me that she did not see this as appropriate but that her female neighbor was allowed to do the job. When I pushed for ‘why’, she blatantly stated “because you are a man and she is a woman”. That to me is very clear discrimination.
I have no history that suggests I am an abuser. All tenets here are screened for that as part of the tenet process. But everyday things such as this play out for me just because I am a man. I do not recall ever limiting a woman based upon sex, or anyone based upon race, as that is not acceptable, but women do this sort of thing as if acceptable every day. Most the time men back off with fear but I do not. The assumed “predator” label does not apply to me— so I am not going to allow anyone to saddle me with it. I would politely suggest that if you have anger/distrust towards a man because he has abused you, that you direct it specifically at the abuser, and not at ALL men. This is what therapy is for.
Accepting this sort of prejudicial and discriminatory behavior only belittles people who were not involved and is improper. It should not be commonplace or upheld as legitimate by any organization –when there is no proof that someone is an abuser. It is discrimination period.”
So, we see that even as a gay man he was assumed as a predator by the women around him. It happens all the time with men. The most serious matter I remember was during my divorce when I informed our common friends of my divorce. Everyone assumed me as guilty and potential abuser and immediately withdrew from close relationships. It was so painful.
While Bruce correctly pointed out in his comment that without any evidence of one being a criminal, no one should be assumed as one, we fight this kind of bias every day. The cases of Saravjit Singh/Jasleen Kaur, three aspirants of Indian Army/Rohtak sisters, Zomato delivery boy of Bangalore or Manav Singh – all were victims of this prejudice. Simply because a woman pointed finger at them, they were instantly branded as predators.
Bruce, however, went on to write further and said, –
“Another point, at college, I recall that I could take classes on feminism and women’s studies, but WHAT no classes on men’s issues? Yes, a sociology class on gender roles which was standard cookie cutter bias –the way roles have been historically assigned per transcription.
So, men are encouraged to learn about the opposite gender so that we can better understand/relate/deal, but women are not pushed similarly. So, the assumption is what…’that it is a man’s world’? That hasn’t been true since before the 70’s with the feminist revolution.
As an avid HR/CR person…I have been open to all peoples issues but yes men have been put in a bad place here. I fought for equality my whole life for ALL people as part of the HR and CR campaigns –so of course I thinks its a load of bunk that as a man I am treated as I am sometimes treated. I am not the enemy and never was.”
Bruce has correctly pointed out that in colleges there are subjects on feminism taught but not the subjects on men’s issues. So, his observation is men/women both are sensitized on women’s issues but no one actually bothers about the issues faced by a man.
It is also encouraging to see that as an HR/CR person, Bruce has always taken steps to promote equality in all campaigns the actions seem to be not enough. Also, very often the sense of equality itself is skewed. This blog is full with articles explaining how in the name of equality men’s rights are suppressed.
If you are one of those who suffer from such biases by others, please speak out. Please let us know through your comments or directly write to us expressing the situation you were in. We will publish your story and help you get justice. We need to work together to fight against such biases against men and ensure that this behaviour stops immediately.