In my previous article in this series, I have shown you how some feminist lies are now used to change our law and break the family system. In this article, I will show you how deep is the problem and how USAID designed NFHS questionnaire captured biased information that is now used to break our marriages and unleash a new form of terrorism.

To understand sexual violence in marriage, we need to understand how these questions were asked in NFHS surveys. NFHS surveys used two different sets of the questionnaire for men and women. In women’s questionnaire, women were first asked this question –

Q for women “Husbands and wives do not always agree on everything. Please tell me if you think a wife is justified in refusing to have sex with her husband when

1. She knows her husband has a sexually transmitted disease.
2. She knows her husband has sex with other women.
3. She is tired or not in the mood.”

The same question was asked to the husbands in this way –

Q for men. “Please tell me if you think a wife is justified in refusing to have sex with her husband when”

1. She knows her husband has a sexually transmitted disease.
2. She knows her husband has sex with other women.
3. She is tired or not in the mood.”

So, from the above questions, it becomes clear that a wife was reminded that she can deny ‘sex’ to her husband as a ‘right’ and such denials are normal, whereas the husband was simply asked if the wife is justified to deny ‘sex’. These questions asked in both NFHS 3 and 4, thus presumed that it is only the husband who makes sexual advances and NOT the wife. It also assumed that the only wife had the ‘right’ to refuse sex under different pretexts.

Clearly, NFHS has created a bias through this question and made the women think that if they ever had adjusted their mood according to husbands’ sexual advances, that was forceful sex. Whereas husbands would have made such adjustments many times in their marital life and that was not recorded by NFHS.

To understand how NFHS has created bias, we need to take a look at the India Today Annual Sex Survey, 2016 data (I don’t have access to 2017 data). This survey found out that –

More men (32.1%) thought love is important for sex than women (22.9%)

And.

Almost equal number of men (19.8%) faced forced sexual violence, compared to women (20.1%)

So clearly, the NFHS questions designed by DHS of USAID, created a bias to capture biased data about our sex life and that biased information is now used to change our law and destroy the family system.

One more important point to note that in NFHS survey, women were asked this question for their own gender, rather for themselves; whereas men were asked this question about the other gender (whether the other gender can deny?). So naturally, the question itself created a ground for men and women to think differently about ‘sex’. For women, it became their favor to their husbands, while for husbands it was an obligation.

So, any time a wife changed her mood or was tired but husband made sexual advances, it became ‘unwanted’ or ‘forced’ sex and hence rape in the minds of women respondents. Whereas, any such mood adjustments husbands ever did, was not even captured in the survey.

So, when women were asked this question (below) their mood changes according to the wishes of the husband, the sex became rape –

Q. (Does/did) your (last) husband ever do any of the following things to you:

a) Slap you?

b) Twist your arm or pull your hair?

c) Push you, shake you, or throw something at you?

d) Punch you with his fist or with something that could hurt you?

e) Kick you, drag you or beat you up?

f) Try to choke you or burn you on purpose?

g) Threaten or attack you with a knife, gun, or any other weapon?

h) Physically force you to have sexual intercourse with him even when you did not want to?

i) Force you to perform any sexual acts you did not want to?

….and also

Q. “In the last 12 months, anyone other than your current/last husband, forced you to have sexual intercourse or perform any other sexual acts against your will?”

If the husband tried to pester, pamper or showed any other sexual advances while the wife was unwilling or not in the mood, it became ‘physical force’. If the surveyors really wanted to capture ‘sex by physical force’ information, they could have simply asked – “physically force you to have sexual intercourse with him”. But the addition of the phrase – “when you did not want to” has made their mood changes into a physical force, and hence rape.

This question was not asked to men. So, it is very clear from the survey design that it was designed to portray a one-sided picture of men being violent and women being victims without any basis. This is even more important because NFHS survey has become the basis of all intimate partner violence discussions.

NFHS, however, asked this question to husbands –

Q “Do you think that if a woman refuses to have sex with her husband when he wants her to, he has the right to” –

1. Get angry and reprimand her?
2. Refuse to give her money or other means of financial support?
3. Use force and have sex with her even if she doesn’t want to?
4. Go and have sex with another woman?

Please note, before this questions husbands were asked whether a wife is ‘justified’ to deny sex. Many husbands who would have also adjusted their mood according to that of their wife, would have thought such adjustment as normal. But the same mood adjustments became rape or ‘forceful sex’ for women.

This is even more dangerous in light of what India Today Annual Sex Survey, 2016 has revealed. This survey revealed, 8.6% women are more adventurous in bed, compared to 7% men. That means, women are more likely to want an unusual form of sex that their male partners may not like. In other words, women more likely to rape men in a relation.

It takes enough education to understand these little nuances of sexual life. Since sex is not a subject that is widely discussed, nor sexual compatibility is matched before marriage; there is always a possibility that two persons in a marriage do not get full sexual satisfaction. In these cases, partners always pester, quarrel or pamper each other for sex. If men are doing these, women are also doing these, too. But NFHS survey has made only men as rapists and now Delhi HC is about to declare these mood changes and adjustments as rape.  If it does, then Marital Rape will blur the boundaries so much, that original rape cases will lose their importance.

Marriage is all about adjustments, either from the husband’s side or from the wife’s side, and if one is so concerned about one’s rights, then let one not get into the same or come out of it in a civil way. Sex in a marriage needs to be considered with much softer viewpoint than that in case of strangers. Those who are ready to attack our marriages today under the guise of human rights activists, are the biggest enemies of mankind and need to be destroyed immediately.

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