Having a sexy girlfriend that others envy and not able to enjoy sex with her is the biggest frustration a man can have. However, that is increasingly becoming a reality in the modern world. It doesn’t matter how well-built and well mannered you are, as a man of modern generation your ability to enjoy sex with your wife or girlfriend is reducing every day. This is because the testosterone level across the population is falling at an alarming speed and this is increased even more in the last three decades. The result of this phenomenon is that our boys are taking birth with less testosterone and that level is also reducing as they age. Today even men between 20-30 years of age suffer from androgen deficiency related issues.
Increased Adultery in Married Women
At this situation, if women are finding multiple sex partners, probably we can’t blame them entirely. In a 2019 study, GQ media revealed that 7 in every 10 Indian women are involved in adulterous relationships. Now MRAs may be ecstatic about such news and would like to promote these, but you should not trust these surveys entirely. Reason being, most often these reports are published in media to increase their user base and get money.
Earlier another such survey came from a global dating site and was promoted by all mainstream media. They claimed they had 40-50 thousand members each of either sex. However, when I checked their website by creating a login, they had hardly a couple of hundred members of each sex and > 90% of those users were fake. Even if they had done a survey with 300 of their registered users that is not a valid survey. You also need to understand that no one will publicly admit that one is involved in adultery.
So, I strongly believe that these surveys are done for their own business purpose. From my personal experience of handling divorce cases, however, I do agree that in Bengal, adultery by women has increased many folds after scrapping of IPC 497 or adultery law.
Sex But No Satisfaction
In one hand the testosterone level in men is falling and on the other hand, more males are indulging in bad habits like smoking, drinking, doing less hard work, getting less exposed to sun and leading an extremely stressful digital life – all of which lead to (or add to) their falling testosterone levels.
It may sound like a feminist propaganda, but It is a fact that women are hardly enjoying sex nowadays. In order to understand the reality, I have spoken with several escorts and prostitutes in different cities to understand the current sex-life situation in India. Many of those were housewives with a family and in some cases with children but doing this ‘work’ for money.
“We don’t bother about our enjoyment. It’s the client’s satisfaction that matters. There is no emotion involved.”
I asked all of them about the greatest sex experience they had in their hooker-life with their customers. And no one could remember a single one.
“When there is no emotional connect, no matter how long you have intercourse it doesn’t really matter. Customers can’t bring that feeling, only a lover can” – said a Kolkata based married escort.
“Most men can’t even sustain for 2 minutes in sex, what are you talking about our orgasm”, laughed another college girl, who is engaged in sleeping business to earn some extra bucks.
It is increasingly becoming a reality that men are not able to sustain in their sexual acts and that is another reason among many others why housewives are looking for fun outside their marriage. When fun can also bring money to them without any consequences, then why not? Today, even school girls sleep around for fun and sometimes for some quick bucks. But that ‘outside sex’ can’t give them a pleasure as there is no emotional connect.
“Every time I have sex with a prostitute, I feel terrible. I feel like trash” – said a man who after his divorce failed to get a companion and thought visiting a prostitute is the answer to his sexual dissatisfaction.
“Men can play many games for foreplay but hardly anyone can sustain the real game. Sometimes they are out before we even strip.” Said one Hyderabad based escort. Sexual dysfunction is so very common now.
What is clear from these discussions is that hardly anyone (both males and females) enjoys sex with strangers but almost all fantasize about getting an orgasm from these encounters. But where does the fantasy come from?
“The fantasy comes from pornographic content and those blue films are biggest lies in our life”, stated a psychologist in one of his columns. Everyone imagines of having that kind of sex in their life as that becomes the golden standard and when they fail to get that pleasure with their partner, they try to get another.
Human Sex – More Emotional Than Physical
But in my life through my life’s events, I have realized that the sex in humans is indeed more emotional than physical. You need that love and attraction, that feeling of togetherness to engage in sexual activity with someone. Only then any kind of foreplay or sex can be enjoyed. In this connection, mostly the behaviour of the woman partner matters the most. When we share our personal space with someone we love, all small incidents matter and add to our emotions. So, when women become nagging, when they shout or abuse for no reason and start showing feminism and forget to respect their male partners, they almost certainly ruin their relationship.
For example, when I was happily married, in the first six months I had an awesome sex life. I enjoyed sex multiple times a day and all those experiences were great too. My wife was also very happy. But as soon as we crossed that 6-month period, as soon as small differences started cropping up and ego clashes started happening our sex-life deteriorated. Later we might have had sex, but that became a purely physical act rather than any emotional connect or any good feeling.
After my divorce, my old-time crush came back to me. We both were lonely at hearts and both were ecstatic to get each other back in our lives. But we had great sex only until our emotional connect was intact and we loved and respected each other. The moment differences cropped up between us and she started showing her arrogance and started shaming me for my MRA activities, all relationships have gone.
These incidents surely prove that to enjoy great sex, we humans need a great emotional connect. A scientific study already proved that our orgasm happens in our brain and not in genitals. Only when the emotional connect is strong, only when love and respect between the partners is strong and only when they trust each other completely, they can enjoy sex and women can expect to get frequent orgasm.
So, how serious is the problem?
An extensive study was done on declining testosterone level in population titled Massachusetts Male Aging Study (MMAS), that conducted the study of declining male hormone for the population of Boston area in three distinct time periods (1987-89), (1995-97) and (2002-04) has shown an alarming level of decrease. According to this study, the total testosterone (TT) and bioavailable testosterone (or free Testosterone) (T) for the population were decreasing at the rate of 1.2% and 1.3% year on year. Over the period of their study, the researchers have found that the decline was between 20.4% and 22.1%.
Another large study that is often mentioned is called The Finnish Study has shown a decline of at least 20% in T levels at any age between two generations. That means a 40-year-old man in 1970 had at least 20% less testosterone than that of his father when he was 40 years old.
This blog from Dr Carragher who is practising age management and hormone optimization for almost two decades states the extent of the problem. What he revealed was that instead of men in the age group of 35-40, he gets male patients in their ‘20s with androgen deficiency. This is alarming because that is the age when these males need to get married and reproduce. With androgen deficiency, they can hardly meet their conjugal expectations.
The MMAS study shows the alarming level of decrease in testosterone level in men in this graph –
It is evident from the above graph that the level of T was drastically reducing in population until 2004 (unfortunately there is no similar study that I came across to verify if the trend continued after 2004, however, there is a strong reason to believe why it would have continued). From the slope of the lines, we also understand that the rate of decline over different ages was maximum in 2002-04 and was minimum in 1987-89. This confirms the researchers’ viewpoint that the decline may be faster in the present age compared to what happened three decades ago.
In another graph, the researchers have shown how the TT level is falling in human males historically –
The above graph clearly shows that a 45-year old man in 1940-45 had the same level of TT as a 66-year old man in 1916-19 would have had. From the slopes of the lines, we understand that the rate of decline of TT in different ages of males were same even though there was a population-level decrease of TT. Unlike the previous graph that shows study results of a more recent time where even the rate of decline is varying and becoming faster over time.
What does WHO say
The World Health Organization (WHO) also recognizes the problem and says this for the cause of this phenomenon – “Exposure to environmental phenols (e.g., bisphenol A, benzophenone-3, and triclosan) and parabens is widespread in the population. Many of these chemicals have been shown to have anti-androgenic effects both in vitro and in vivo.”
National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) 2011–2012 showed that benzophenone-3 (BP-3) and bisphenol A (BPA) were associated with significantly lower TT in male adolescents, and BPA was associated with significantly higher TT in female adolescents.
Now let’s understand the use of these chemicals in our life.
Benzophenone-3 is used in bath products, makeup products, hair products, sunscreens and skincare products.
Bisphenol A is used in plastics, like making containers that share food and beverages. Like Plastic water bottles.
Triclosan is used in cosmetics such as deodorants, shower gels and soaps.
So, we get exposed to these chemicals by using those products which are a part of our lives now. WHO also reported that the reaction of these chemicals is reverse in males and females and is dangerous for both sexes. In males, these chemicals reduce TT levels and in women, it increases TT levels.
Associations between BPA and TT differed according to sex in adolescents, with inverse associations in boys and positive associations in girls. BP-3 was associated with significantly lower TT in adolescent boys only.
A HECANET November 2005 article says, “Modern products may affect boys’ hormones Chemicals found in products ranging from plastics to cosmetics may subtly reduce testosterone production in new-born boys, a new study finds. Evidence from animal experiments suggests the toxic chemicals called phthalates are endocrine-disrupting chemicals that can harm the male reproductive system.”
Effects of Falling Testosterone in Males
Now let’s understand the effects of falling testosterone levels in men. The main symptoms of Androgen deficiency were found by a study (1) to be as follows –
- Low Libido
- Erectile Dysfunction
- Sleep Disturbance
- Depressed mood
- Low physical performance
Effects of rising Testosterone level In Females
Females also have testosterone flowing in their blood. But as WHO found out that chemicals used in plastics and cosmetics items can lead to increase in their Testosterone levels, that is again damaging for MANkind. That is the reason females increasingly exhibit masculine behaviour, act violently or develop beard and moustache or deep voices.
In modern society in one hand, we have males suffering from low Testosterone related ailments, whereas females are getting increasingly masculine. The MMAS study showed that in the last 2/3 decades the rate of change is even more. So, with every passing year, the problem is becoming severe for all societies. We are getting weaker males and stronger females, which is definitely not a good sign for future generations of humans to survive and need immediate remedial measures taken. Otherwise, we will not only see more numbers of adulterous relationships of women, but we will also have weaker offsprings and more unsatisfied sexual relationships.