Dedicated to my friend Veerendra P of Bangalore
If you think this is a sleazy article and is going to be overloaded with sexual content you are wrong. Because the concept I am going to discuss is more philosophical than sexual.
First time I came across this concept in a counseling session of male victims when a fellow counselor jokingly remarked to one victim that “please don’t think through your penis, use brain”. Everyone laughed, including the victim. The first level understanding of the statement was “make use your brain properly”. But as I kept on thinking about the statement I realized that it is deep rooted in male bahaviour of thinking which I shall explain in this article with examples.
This statement means that very often in relationship matters male decision making ability is overshadowed by their preference for their sexual partner rather than logical reasoning. Even though both kind of thought process is driven by and controlled by our brain, men make a lot of mistakes when their sexual innuendos interfere logical unbiased thinking.
To understand this, we need to understand how men make mistakes in several decisions wrt to their relationship. It is found that the so called ‘stronger’ sex is actually ‘weak’ in sexual and emotional matters. Sexual matters – because they can hardly stand a few minutes in a sexual act (I am not talking about porn heroes) while most of the time the woman is still not done. Men’s urge may be sudden and quick but they lack sustenance. Whereas women are sexually stronger gender because they can satisfy multiple such men at a time and still be undone.
Men are also emotionally weak in relationship matters because they are manipulated by their partners most of the time. It starts from paying her mobile bills to buying her gifts or simply pursue her even after repeated failed attempts.
In marital matters too men take several wrong decisions because of their preference for their partner and ignore cruelty by her as explained below –
She is not responsible for false cases against me, it’s the society/relatives/NGOs/police/court that is responsible – Very often men undergoing harsh treatment in false cases think that their wives were not guilty of filing such false cases but others were responsible. Even after undergoing jail term, losing their job due to such complaints, men think highly about their partners while their partners may be thinking of them as losers.
My child is in safe and most reliable custody when he is with his mother – Men in general think mothers are great and they love their mothers the most. The same thought process goes for their wives too when they see their children are with them. Even if these women had actually denied visitation of these men to their children but continued accepting child maintenance from them. These women might have thrown these men out of their own house and living with their paramour.
These men do not realize that these single mothers are the most cruel mothers in the world. They are not only poisoning little minds but also depriving them of their biological fathers. Very often these single mothers boast of playing both roles of a father and a mother without realizing that all they are doing is instilling falsehood and lies in a child’s life. So the men who feel comfortable with their children being safe in the hands of mothers is actually wrong and lack logical thinking.
My wife might have had illicit affair or has an illicit child but she still loves me – Normally men get furious when they find their wives having affair. But there are some who still believes that his wife might have gone astray a few times but she actually loves him. Some men feel that wife is not their property so she is free to do whatever she wants. These men continue to trust their wives even after catching them red handed. They continue to believe that their wives love them and will refrain from immoral behavior in future. In one case I have seen that even after finding out that his wife gave birth to an illicit child and was cheating him for years, the man still felt bad for his wife and continued to disbelief that she was in fact cruel to him.
If we look deep in all the above examples we find that men very often take such decisions whenever they put their preference for their sexual partner before their own interests. This happens mostly due to the provider and protector roles assumed by men. Protectors feel ashamed to admit that they can’t protect themselves from the women they are supposed to protect, providers get a feeling of failure in their assumed role when their wives are dissatisfied with them. In both situations a man loses his respectful identity.
So all men need to shun their provider and protector roles and be respectful to their own life and liberty first. Very often the threat is from within their lives but men do not realize that. If they have a clear logical thinking they can identify such cruelties early in life.