Second marriage – marrying innocent divorcees

Broken HeartAround Ten years back when I was looking for a match for my first marriage I used to see those ads of innocent divorcees with a few days of marriage and used to feel bad for them. even though nowhere those ads it was mentioned that those divorces were due to dowry or domestic violence I used to presume that those were the dowry cases where the husbands had made their wives leave the matrimonial home with tears. Every time I saw such an ad I felt bad for them and in way was ready to marry one such unfortunate girl if needed. You know that was the era when newspapers were abuzz with dowry or domestic violence related crimes.

Every time I saw a news on dowry violence and a matrimonial ad of innocent divorcees my determination of rescuing such women victims grew stronger, as normally happens in any young male who is taught to be a protector of women.

My marriage happened with a young and beautiful girl who were much younger to me. As a provider male I was happy in initial years and used to tell everyone that mine was a perfect match. Many were envious about me. I used to feel good about it.

It took only six months for me to change my perspective. Yes, only after six months she and her family started showing their true colors. Before that I have only considered women as victims but never considered them to be cruel criminals who could use those dowry laws to their favor to extort someone.

I was married for seven years. In all these seven years the countless threats that I got about women commission, Police, suicide, political hooligans and jail was enough to force me to commit suicide. My best match by then was openly pursuing her relationship with her boyfriend from before marriage and my life was hell. I had to bear with us torture for seven long years when I could file for divorce and then I came to know that it was a wrong step and wrong advice given by my lawyer.

After fighting an intense battle for four years when my case settled for MCD I was not happy but had to accept the defeat because these four years taught me a lot about judiciary and legal process.

After divorce I realized that my wife too had become an innocent divorcée and I have become dowry seeker monster who needs to be hated by everyone.

Thankfully, Arnesh Kumar judgment didn’t come when she was filling all her cases, otherwise I would have got a rape case too as husbands today are getting. Who knows if that had happened then people (or paid hooligans) wouldn’t have killed me like the Dimapur man?

Today, I hear men’s stories everyday and understand what each of them had gone through and try to understand WHY marriages are breaking. I see love marriages breaking, I have seen relations as old as eighteen years between two families breaking within a few months of marriage. I have seen those lover boys getting tortured by their wives and beaten by hot iron crockery. Men who decided to leave their parents for happy future were also not spared.

To understand women side of stories I have spoken to many divorcée women. Some of whom who got married after an affair just avoided the conversation by saying their first relation was a mistake. The same thing was told by women who had as long as seven years of relation as well.

In one case one girl told me her husband just committed suicide. There was apparently no reason. I asked her if she were in good terms with her in-laws. The answer was in negative. She told she didn’t keep in touch. In all such cases I understood that those girls might be responsible for the suicide of their husbands as 64,000 other married men commit every year. I wouldn’t have known this if I myself had not seen an abusive relation and criminal conspiracy happening by misuse of dowry laws.

My 2005 mindset is completely reversed today. I catch women who were cruel in their past relationship easily. But all of them are known as innocent divorcees in the second marriage market.

Normally the grooms and their families think that the marriages that lasted only a few days the girls were most unfortunate. Even I used to think that way in 2005. Some of those ads clearly say that the earlier marriage was not consummated to show that the girl is still pure, a celibate. Even with my 2005 mindset I would have felt bad for them and would have been ready to marry them. But today I know they are the cruelest lot. They get married for money and run away with all jewelry threatening their in laws of all criminal cases. The serial brides or rackets involving such criminals that only we MRAs know because our national team continuously work on such news and the articles that never come in Google search nor is reported by mainstream media only tells me these are those innocent divorcees who run rackets to extort innocent men and their families. The people who think these innocent divorcees are victims and need our empathy and faster marriage, they only give these criminals faster opportunity to make more money.

So guys, are you planning to marry an innocent divorcée? Do a thorough background check of your brides’ family before you do anything. Their relation with their former in-laws will tell you how cruel they were in their past relation. Also check that you are contacting the right family as her former in-law’s family. Understand how she broke her first marriage and how much money did she get. If needed contact her first husband for details because many a times even monetary transactions are not mentioned in court papers.

Remember, you really don’t want to marry girls like Rohtak sisters who only know how to extort money from men. Those sisters are exposed but you have no idea how many of them are hidden around you. In the women you meet or befriend everyday. They are your colleagues, your neighbors, your friends and all of them are masquerading as victims because most of us still believe women are ONLY victims.

Hope now you know that those innocent divorcees are actually not innocents at all. Instead, they may be the most dreaded monsters around you.

Related
1. Second marriage – avoid single mothers

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12 comments

  1. What would you think if you knew an Indian woman of great talent, charm and beauty, whose first husband left during the first year of marriage, while her next suitor ended the engagement after one year, just to see a second husband begin to hate her 9 months into her second marriage. What would you say if she told you all these relationships had failed because these men had cheated on her? Would you believe her? If you thought there was more to the story than meets the eye, how would you go about discerning the truth, when you don’t even know who these men are? What are your thoughts?

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      • Partha:

        Thank you for your reply, but what if you doubt she will be forthright with the truth. What then?

        Then again, in your estimation, what would it take for an Indian groom to leave his bride during the first year of marriage and never return? In the same likeness, why would a second husband come to hate her during the first year of marriage?

        You sir, know Indian males and how they think…I do not. Please share with me your feelings and insights on this issue. – C.J.

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        • First of all Indian men do not leave their wives as they don’t have that option, if they try to leave also they are screwed. There are right questions that can be asked to understand this

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    • Shruti:

      Are you saying that if an Indian woman says she has been married for an entire year and her husband has never touched her…she is probably lying?

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  2. Partha:

    Is it your opinion that if an Indian woman has been married for an entire year and claims that her husband has never touched her intimately…that she is probably lying?

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  3. One thing i really blame on myself, even though there were many misunderstandings and cancellation of engagement, marriage from either side, finally i agreed to get married 2 years back and suffering from that day with the intereference of sister-in-laws. I searched for many articles before my marriage to understand why this is happening to me, am i wrong or is there anyway to be peaceful, etc., But i think i didnt search for the right thing to understand the other side of marriage and law. Now i’m part of SIFK and fighting for justice. I dont have any cases, but just Mental & Emotional harassment. And all this is happening because of an experienced Divorcee who is my wife’s sister’s friend. Also, my wife’s younger sister is going through Divorce and now is thorough with the ideas on how to irritate Men and take advantage. both these divorcees look very innocent. God Save those families which break because of these Divorcees (so called INNOCENT DIVORCEES)

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    • I am so sorry this has happened to you, Shyam.

      It is important to note that women are herd “animals” by nature, thus they seek strength and safety in numbers. Because of their insecure nature, they seek the company of others from their own breed in order to draw strength and inspiration. They, therefore, gossip together, congregate together, scheme together, and even leave together (in unison) for the bathroom in order to “freshen up”.

      So, when you enter into a marital relationship with a woman…you never truly have her for yourself, because she shares everything with her friends and she continues to receive feed-back from them, regarding her relationship with you. It’s the same way the world over. Unfortunately, most women pay more heed to their friends than to their husbands.

      In America, it is known that women are so enmeshed and interconnected with their friends and female peers, that when a woman’s friends are getting married – she wants to get married; when they have children – she wants to have children; and, when they get divorced – she is likely to get divorced. In most cases, a woman’s next move is determined by her friends and female associates. This is one of the many reasons why it is so hard for men to understand women – because we never know who she is talking to and what ideas they are putting into her head.

      At the end of the day, the average woman is an insecure creature that lacks the courage to act on her own or come to her own conclusions. Sadly, she often chooses her friends out of desperation and therefore must listen to the counsel of the blind and the songs of fools.

      Peace be with you.

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  4. Partha,

    Is this your life story? I am asking this because in one of your posts you said that you had gone to Ajantha Ellora caves with your wife and child. I am a bit confused.

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