Around Ten years back when I was looking for a match for my first marriage I used to see those ads of innocent divorcees with a few days of marriage and used to feel bad for them. even though nowhere those ads it was mentioned that those divorces were due to dowry or domestic violence I used to presume that those were the dowry cases where the husbands had made their wives leave the matrimonial home with tears. Every time I saw such an ad I felt bad for them and in way was ready to marry one such unfortunate girl if needed. You know that was the era when newspapers were abuzz with dowry or domestic violence related crimes.
Every time I saw a news on dowry violence and a matrimonial ad of innocent divorcees my determination of rescuing such women victims grew stronger, as normally happens in any young male who is taught to be a protector of women.
My marriage happened with a young and beautiful girl who were much younger to me. As a provider male I was happy in initial years and used to tell everyone that mine was a perfect match. Many were envious about me. I used to feel good about it.
It took only six months for me to change my perspective. Yes, only after six months she and her family started showing their true colors. Before that I have only considered women as victims but never considered them to be cruel criminals who could use those dowry laws to their favor to extort someone.
I was married for seven years. In all these seven years the countless threats that I got about women commission, Police, suicide, political hooligans and jail was enough to force me to commit suicide. My best match by then was openly pursuing her relationship with her boyfriend from before marriage and my life was hell. I had to bear with us torture for seven long years when I could file for divorce and then I came to know that it was a wrong step and wrong advice given by my lawyer.
After fighting an intense battle for four years when my case settled for MCD I was not happy but had to accept the defeat because these four years taught me a lot about judiciary and legal process.
After divorce I realized that my wife too had become an innocent divorcée and I have become dowry seeker monster who needs to be hated by everyone.
Thankfully, Arnesh Kumar judgment didn’t come when she was filling all her cases, otherwise I would have got a rape case too as husbands today are getting. Who knows if that had happened then people (or paid hooligans) wouldn’t have killed me like the Dimapur man?
Today, I hear men’s stories everyday and understand what each of them had gone through and try to understand WHY marriages are breaking. I see love marriages breaking, I have seen relations as old as eighteen years between two families breaking within a few months of marriage. I have seen those lover boys getting tortured by their wives and beaten by hot iron crockery. Men who decided to leave their parents for happy future were also not spared.
To understand women side of stories I have spoken to many divorcée women. Some of whom who got married after an affair just avoided the conversation by saying their first relation was a mistake. The same thing was told by women who had as long as seven years of relation as well.
In one case one girl told me her husband just committed suicide. There was apparently no reason. I asked her if she were in good terms with her in-laws. The answer was in negative. She told she didn’t keep in touch. In all such cases I understood that those girls might be responsible for the suicide of their husbands as 64,000 other married men commit every year. I wouldn’t have known this if I myself had not seen an abusive relation and criminal conspiracy happening by misuse of dowry laws.
My 2005 mindset is completely reversed today. I catch women who were cruel in their past relationship easily. But all of them are known as innocent divorcees in the second marriage market.
Normally the grooms and their families think that the marriages that lasted only a few days the girls were most unfortunate. Even I used to think that way in 2005. Some of those ads clearly say that the earlier marriage was not consummated to show that the girl is still pure, a celibate. Even with my 2005 mindset I would have felt bad for them and would have been ready to marry them. But today I know they are the cruelest lot. They get married for money and run away with all jewelry threatening their in laws of all criminal cases. The serial brides or rackets involving such criminals that only we MRAs know because our national team continuously work on such news and the articles that never come in Google search nor is reported by mainstream media only tells me these are those innocent divorcees who run rackets to extort innocent men and their families. The people who think these innocent divorcees are victims and need our empathy and faster marriage, they only give these criminals faster opportunity to make more money.
So guys, are you planning to marry an innocent divorcée? Do a thorough background check of your brides’ family before you do anything. Their relation with their former in-laws will tell you how cruel they were in their past relation. Also check that you are contacting the right family as her former in-law’s family. Understand how she broke her first marriage and how much money did she get. If needed contact her first husband for details because many a times even monetary transactions are not mentioned in court papers.
Remember, you really don’t want to marry girls like Rohtak sisters who only know how to extort money from men. Those sisters are exposed but you have no idea how many of them are hidden around you. In the women you meet or befriend everyday. They are your colleagues, your neighbors, your friends and all of them are masquerading as victims because most of us still believe women are ONLY victims.
Hope now you know that those innocent divorcees are actually not innocents at all. Instead, they may be the most dreaded monsters around you.
1. Second marriage – avoid single mothers