I consider myself as an MGTOW. For those who do not understand this philosophy, I am one of those Men who are Going Their Own Way. Men who believe in this philosophy are happy in their own self and do what they want.
But I am from India. For ages, we Indians have respected our family system for ages. This is the only system that has given enormous strength to Indians or Hindus specifically to ward off all odds. This is the only system that I believe can keep me strong even in my trying times.
But today Indian family system is in shambles. Thanks, enormous westernization and women empowerment when everything under the sun is violence against women, then having a woman in life is highly dangerous in any man’s life, especially when marriage is a legal bond rather than a love or religious bond. It is true in modern perspective when we see legal interference is needed in every aspect of marriage, even in small altercations.
At an era when men are incriminated every moment, any allegation against a man becomes a confirmed news and media, society and govt. start punishing men without any reason, the life of a man near a woman has become even more dangerous. The question that bothers me especially as an MGTOW is why marry?
Being an Indian I personally feel that a good marriage can take us a long way. It can not only fulfill our dreams but can take us to new heights. Problem is who to marry?
As an MGTOW and being associated with men’s cause in India and seen men’s issues directly I have enough experience in identifying the unscrupulous women. Oops…sorry that is such a great misconception. Because when someone asked me about some MGTOW tips to segregate those mischievous women, I gave many tips and in the end I told them, not to rely on those tips as those may go wrong. If I knew women so well in this small life then I would have been more than a god. I am not, so I can’t claim I am good at identifying mischievous women. Today thanks to my experience in analyzing different types of relations, I can identify the cruel ones and gold diggers very fast and part ways with them quickly. Now, unfortunately, I am not having many options left either.
When I looked at the issue from the perspective of women, I sensed a greater danger. If more and more Indian men become MGTOW and get reluctant to meeting (or mating) women simply because they can cry rape anytime they want and get away with men’s property, then what will the women do? (I am sure MGTOWs will bash me saying who the hell has asked me to THINK about women when I claim myself as an MGTOW?). Only for this discussion, I wore the hat of a social reformer to think for Indian women. I felt that men can still depend on their hands or money for pleasure but women will only have to make certain vegetables costlier. None of us will have any moral binding in life and there will be no support system in place. We need that support system very often as without that man are prone to get addicted to drugs and women to prostitution. Also, the crime rate is set to increase in that environment.
So there started the dilemma, what should I do? Whether pre-marital sex should be good for me? I was not quite sure about MGTOW philosophy on this matter and hence I asked this question in a global MGTOW forum. The answers were funny and only MGTOWs will understand their value. People asked me, why marry? Some suggested get laid with women before their marriage because you never know whether the girl you are planning to marry is already getting laid by someone else.
Oops, there came the harsh reality of Indian society to me. Even if it is under wraps from many unsuspecting Indian men today, but the reality that Indian men face in their marriages is a very high level of adultery by their wives. These men come crying to us for help as they once thought they have got the best woman in their lives and only ended up thinking of committing suicide without any legal recourse. It does not matter if some of them actually wanted adultery related laws to be made more women-friendly asking the govt. to stop the husbands filing divorce cases against their wives for their adultery. Some poor souls who have actually filed a divorce with valid evidence of wife’s adultery ended up in paying child support to her illicit children.
So when Indian women have become so unreliable in their relations and when everything has become their right at the expense of men then why should any Indian man want to get married? Those who are in love with someone may think that they have got the best girl in their life, but that is how many cruelly divorced men also thought once they first met their girls. Today, some may blame Indian laws, some may blame lawyers, some others may blame unscrupulous women who had lost respect and trust for all other women. The philosophy that NOT all women are same, doesn’t work when there is no incentive for a woman to be good in a relation. In fact, when incentives are given away to women for divorce then it is obvious that any woman can go whimsical whenever she wants. To MGTOWs this is not new as we have seen 20 years or more marriages breaking up and men being pushed out onto the streets by their beloved wives taking all their property.
But is having sex with anyone and everyone acceptable? No, at least not to me. Sex without passion and feelings is meaningless. I am sure even animals will have a passion for sex as it is said very often that our sexual pleasure is controlled by our brain and NOT by our genitals. So the recipe for getting a good orgasm is ingrained in our minds and not between the legs. This orgasm is not possible under a state of fear that the wife will file false cases and send all my family members to jail or put some false rape case and the society will demand my death penalty. UN will then say that rapes in India are actually underreported and some govt. will castrate men for all imaginary future rapes.
This is even truer in current Indian scenario as in the madness of women empowerment any man is viewed as a rapist today and all women become oppressed. To feminists, marriage itself is oppression of women and that poison has already ruined minds of Indian women. Since marriage is a legal bond, this becomes more hated by men when such bond is extremely one-sided and heavily loaded against them. So marriage becomes irrelevant. And when that happens the pre-marital sex also becomes irrelevant.
But as a social reformer, the institution of marriage is very important to me. In a pre-historic age when there was no marriage even then pre-marital or outside marriage sex existed. The bonding of marriage was created probably as a religious ritual and to protect the children. But with the bonding of marriage comes a lot of responsibility. When we see that only women rights in a marriage is spoken about and not their responsibility then the institution of marriage will surely get a hit.
We all love our partners to be celibate before marriage, even when we are divorced we look for unmarried partners; unmarried because we THINK they didn’t have sex before and hence they are pure. Purity in Indian marriages is a very important factor. That is what holds the trust that can break when one partner becomes adulterous. But the same Indian mind will not hesitate to have pre-marital sex with someone else. This is because even though by nature we humans are polygamous, our belief in purity in marriages makes us antagonistic about partner’s involvement in a pre-marital sexual encounter while provokes us to have pre-marital sex.
But we were not like this until sometime back. One reason for this decaying value system is because of forceful entry of western values in our culture. Nowadays women are not considered empowered without having some pre-marital relations. Sex is considered as just another requirement and all shame surrounding pre-marital sex has gone away. Now NCW speaks about making prostitution legal in India and when that happens, sex itself does not matter to anyone.
Even without being too much religious I can say that I believe in restriction in our lives as it is needed in every matter. This is probably against the MGTOW philosophy but this is at per with Indian value system.
Today, in the name of modernization and freedom too much of Indian values is eroded. I still feel India had a very strong family system that is consistently being destroyed by feminism and westernization. It does not matter whether I am an MGTOW and I am against marriages, but what matters for a good future is restraint in certain matters like sex. If we engage in pre-marital sex and then for any reason end up not marrying the same partner then we should not expect our new partner to be a celibate in our marriage. But we all expect the same and hence we have problems in our marriages. Since I do not accept this, pre-marital sex is a big no for me.
Even otherwise as an MRA who understands the dangers of women turning back at drop of a hat, and filing a false rape case to snatch a man’s property; this becomes a big risk for any man in India unless one is ready for the death penalty. It is important to note that most of the rape cases filed in India are filed against the lovers. And I think the death penalty is too much of a price to pay for men.