‘No’ means ‘No’

No responsibilityHi, call me Roy. That’s not my real name though. But the story I am going to tell you is real. I am a middle aged man divorce a few years ago and never wanted to get married ever. The reason was simple. I found women had become very different. With feminism and more equality they had become like men and lost their charm to me.

Even though I hated feminism, I believed in both ‘No means No and ‘Yes means Yes theories. First one is feminist promoted reason of rape sensitizing men that when a woman says no to a man’s advancement in an intimate physical relation, the man should stop there. I know and understand the difficulty of men to follow this. So I am sensitized to the ‘Yes means Yes’ definition of anti-feminists that says once consent is given in any manner a woman can not withhold the consent. Feminists play around with men in this area where they want to term any physical relation as rape based on their convenience.

However, I do believe men can play around with this and play with female minds being completely within the perspective of feminists’ own ‘No means No’ theory.

In my college days I was in love with a muslim girl who was very intelligent and smart. Being a Hindu boy myself I could never directly tell her my emotions but we were getting closer and I was trying to figure out how to pour my heart out to her. That was the time when she got into one of the most prestigious institution where I could not. As it always happen, she started ignoring my advances and a heartbroken me decided to move on and get married to an ordinary girl.

Ever since my divorce, I had decided to live alone forever when after almost 12 years my old flame found me out in social media and after repeated attempts to contact me, finally succeeded in getting in touch. I was elated to see her back in my lonely life and felt god had that alternative plan for me. She was not married until then and I felt she loved me too. In no time, we came very close and regained confidence in each other. I expressed my feelings for her after 12 years we met last.

She was a different person by then. A degree from one of the country’s most prestigious institutions, a high ranking global career and huge bank balance made her a top notch successful professional in life. But I did not care about her new identity. To me, she was still the same old Muslim girl who I loved.

We decided to go on a vacation together to celebrate our being together again after 12 years of life. Naturally, the two lonely hearts didn’t take much time to come very close.

We had boarded a bus from our city to go to a nearby hill station. Our romance started in the bus. I was not able to control my emotions. I felt after years of loneliness I have got the love of my life. None of us bothered about our social status. We were only lovebirds.

We booked one room in a hotel and stayed together. When she agreed to that proposal of mine I was sure she wanted to unleash herself too. But when in the hotel room after showing compassion for a sufficiently long time when I wanted to have sex, she refused. She still had the inhibition in her and even though she loved me she didn’t want to have sex. I was a fish out of water then. Not able to control myself and she was refusing to let herself loose.

I knew you MRAs would have termed it as my sexual harassment but I decided to stick to feminist definition of ‘No means No’ and wanted to play on.

Through my researches about women psychology and sexual desires, I knew very well that way to unlock their desires was through their mind and not through the organ between the legs. I knew that if my woman didn’t agree fully and came forward to unleash her wildest desires, I had no business forcing me onto her. That would have deprived both of a heavenly ecstasy that we were looking for. I was not sure why she retracted at the last moment and made me feel terrible. But I decided to respect her feelings and stop right there. Now guys will understand how difficult it was for me but I consoled myself that it was the way to experience the heaven.

I told her with full compassion and without complaining that I was ready to wait for her to become easy with me and to come forward on her own to take our relation to the next level. I also clarified to her that it was her wish to experience a heavenly orgasm that only two passionate lovers could gift each other. I explained that unless both our body and mind were in complete sync we wouldn’t have experienced the uncompromising thrill in our heavenly relation.

It was a mind game for her, I took that on. I knew women play these games with us a lot of time. We guys find them fickle minded because they change their behavior so much to become unsolved puzzles to us. So in that intimate moment I played a game with her mind too. Showed her something great that she was missing out by denying my advances. I was feeling like crying as I loved her so much yet she was still having unnecessary inhibitions.

Very soon she came very close to me, started kissing me all over. I knew the mind game was over. Rest of game would depend on my performance in the time to come. We had an amazing sex that night. Literally we found our lost love in each other and then caressed each other for a long time unless our body and mind became completely calm and were in a heightened state of unforeseen ecstasy filled with pleasure. She went into an untimely slumber in my arms and even though I was almost dead with hunger I fondled her and went into slumber as well.

Today, when I see feminists debating over ‘No means No trying to teach how guys should behave in marital relations, I wonder if our youth could be sensitized with partner behavior and gender specific characteristics in sexual matters. Without such in depth sensitization to our youth their marital life can’t experience the heavenly bliss and they will always end up blaming each other for everything.

Now feminists want to bring marital rape out of this concept. Even though you guys have a lot of valid points to counter feminist arguments of marital rape, I feel that if our youth could be sensitized little more about the sexual behavior and differences between two genders, they could actually experience the bliss rather than making sex a routine and mundane activity in couples that ultimately does not make anyone happy.

[As shared by an anonymous reader

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