Do you remember me? Probably not!!
You were only two years old then. Could not even talk properly, but those sweet words from your mouth used to make my day. Then, every day used to be a surprise for us, every day used to bring new dimensions of life, every day there was some learning or the other for us.
Today, I remember that day clearly. It was 24th of October 2011. It was Diwali and I travelled to Kolkata from Hyderabad. I went to your mamabari (maternal uncle’s house) as you were there that day. It was the house that used to dazzle with wealth, pride, power and cruelty. That day it was shining with additional lights. Those lights reminded me every moment that it was Diwali.
I went in the evening, I was asked by your mother not to carry any crackers because your maternal grandfather’s affiliates have given enough crackers for one week, and all were costly crackers. How could I buy anything for you because you already had more than enough? So, I bought one winter garment for you. I remember you were bursting in ecstasy after seeing the gift from this poor man.
We burst crackers till 9 pm before I called it a day. I had to travel to my home and it was already late. We went into the house, cleaned ourselves thoroughly and I went away. I remember, you were extending both your hands to come to my lap and crying at the top of your voice to come to me, but I had to tell a lie to you that I would come back to you when I knew very well that it was the last day we met ever. I knew very well that I would never come back to you and I visited you only to see if you were happy in your mother’s arms. I just wanted to see the child whom I loved more than myself happy and secure and moved out silently.
If you think I was cruel, if you think it was a wrong decision, I need to tell you to meet me when you are grown up. Contact me and I will tell you why I came back that day, why I have not responded to your extended arms and why I did not take you into my laps.
What you will never know is that your mother called me that night. She told me to come to her house and take you along with me, as you were crying the whole night to meet me, you were crying to come to me and you will never know how much I have withdrawn my tears. When you have forced your mother to call me at night I realized that probably you came to know that I would never come back ever in your life. I realized that children probably have a stronger sixth sense than anyone else.
This year, on Diwali I am remembering you a lot. But I can’t go back to you anymore. Probably you don’t know but I went to your first school in Kolkata. I went to understand how your studies were going, whether your mother needed any help. But a spoilt crooked girl of a wealthy, selfish family didn’t have any value for a child’s innocence or emotions. I was prohibited to see you by the school authority. I didn’t try again. I didn’t want you to witness a drama.
Now several years have passed. You probably don’t remember me anymore, you probably don’t know that I have taken you to your first ever school in Hyderabad and took you back home in my lap every single day you went to that school when we lived in Hyderabad. Your mother probably portrays me as the cruelest person on the earth today but in reality, she had never got time to take you to school in those six months. She was the one who used to beat you up more vigorously and you used to run to me for cover and I used to protect you always. I remember that even on your second Diwali day when you were wearing a Kurta – Pajama and had difficulty walking, your mother did not take you on her lap, I did.
I remember all these every day. As Diwali is closely associated with this memory, it brings good old thoughts with you around it. I have decided to gift the happiness that I have given you four years ago to other children.
I didn’t want anything for me. Even though your mother and our legal system have completely ripped me apart in these four years, I am not as greedy and selfish as your mother is. The moment I thought about this, I decided to donate the amount for the happiness of the children like you.
Today I will also tell you that story –
As I told you, in the beginning, I was looking for charitable organizations that work for children like you. I found them listed on the internet.
I opened the page for charity and found the list of NGOs. All of them had their contact details updated on the same page, too.
But there were many such NGOs listed there. Probably nothing was enough for them and the amount available to me was very limited. Thus I had to choose the right NGO carefully. I did all the necessary research before choosing one of them. As I always taught you that giving is the best policy, you will never feel happier than while giving something in charity. Hope your mother will also teach you the same.
This is to tell you that boys like you are discriminated against from birth. The ministry that is supposed look for your welfare till 16 years of age also formulates laws against you for your gender.
Probably you still don’t understand that. All govt. funds are routed to women only welfare and girls’ education and boys’ orphanages do not get adequate fund from anyone. All govt. projects and donations are addressed towards girls. All boys’ orphanages face challenges. This was one of the reasons for me to select Adarane for donation.
They had 25 children. All of them are between 6-13 years of age. Similar to your age. They are your friends but none of them are as fortunate to have a wealthy family to take care, warm beds to sleep, a mother to love and someone from a different city to pay for all their expenses without even seeing them.
Those innocent faces reminded me of you. All those children needed a smile like you have today.
So I sent them an email.
“Dear Adarane Team,
I was browsing the internet to buy something for myself on Quickr for Diwali. However, I came to know about the listing of NGOs there and came across your name. I felt that Diwali is not only mine but for all those underprivileged children too. They should also get a major slice of happiness called Diwali.
So I have decided to donate Rs. 5000 to your charity online. I would like to be associated with you in all possible manner. Kindly let me know the requirements for your children.
Since they did not reply even in one day’s time, I have called them up, fixed an appointment with them and given the cheque to them.
Like this, we need to bring happiness to the deprived, for those who may not have their slice of life. Learn this today, festivals like Diwali are for everyone, so always try to bring happiness for others. Wish them luck so that they continue to smile like this.
Happy Diwali my child! I miss you the most in every Diwali. Because our last meeting in this life was on Diwali, in 2011.
Love you always.
Thanks for Sharing this Partha,
I am gutted and speechles! Entire Diwali went just recollecting her memories like somebody opening up a treasurebox from the past… Crying at every article (memory) that you pull out and examine one by one…
It was painful and some more… She is 10 Now, and I have only seen her once in the last 2+ Years and this is 3rd Diwali Away from her…
awesome.. thanks Partha
Mine …I am also missing my son deep in my heart…
We are divorced now…robbed of my entire savings, house for permanent alimony (now with 4+ lakhs of debt)…when i found out and confronted her about her continuing extra marital affair with a person she knows before marriage (senior in her degree college and PT teacher in her school where she was teaching after marriage) and demanded her to leave my son (he was 5+yrs old then)and give divorce, she threatened me of killing my son and then committing suicide by putting a note that I am the cause if I ever demand / take my son. Its been 3 years and now I play videos of both of us bursting crackers, enjoying to the fullest repeatedly on every diwali…..
Its a sad situation where if a woman says that her husband is having affair and keeps false 498a, dv act …the man will be booked immediately…on the contrary if u provide a woman’s extra marital affair with proofs like that person’s tickets you found in your home, gifts purchased for him and couriered and other persons account of him visiting your house in your absence etc …are not enough….The lawyers, police, the society want their “intimate video” as a proof…!!! Her lawyer blackmails us you give this much money for permanent alimony and also to take care of your son otherwise…u will be booked under 498a, DV act…even when I have not taken dowry or never even slapped her (domestic violence)…
I miss you my son…(Sai)…..
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Alone we can’t do much. But together we can change. We need to raise our voice in all media and forums. We should go to each school, college, day-care, office , organizations and show them the reality. We should show them the facts of a fatherless society. We badly need a fathers community to save the next generation. I tried many things,, but I was alone and could not do much but crying. Hope one day we will be together and fight for our rights…
Sabyasachi.The media is one of the reasons for the perpetrations of crime against men is the media.Don;t be so naive to believe media would help men.Feminism is thir bread and butter.Don’t you understand it.The only people who can help you is the mens rights activists.So please ,I appeal to your innate sense of goodness to kindly donate a considerable amount of your income to men’s organisations .The feminists are sponsored by international agencies like U.N.O and UNFPA and the government of India itself .So please don’t keep your hopes up.No and you are not alone in this battle against these organisms aka feminists.
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In case of separation, the practice of giving the custody of child to mother by default is very dangerous for the child. The child is just used as weapon of extortion. Many fathers have lost their children and the only hope to live for when a monster mom kills the child.
There are four dimensions to misandry and fighting misandry.
1)Legal misandry: Having special laws for women under which men are not given any protection and some of which are unwarranted in the first place and which have immense scope for misuse and which do not follow the due process laid down in the original constitution which was unammended and also without any punishment for misuses and not following the clauses of “international declaration of human rights” and under which the punishment is not commensurate with the degree and intensity of the crime committed.
Systematic misandry:-Having separate National Commission for Women and it’s offshoots in different states funded by taxpayers.
Having reservation for women in police,politics,education,government jobs,buses,trains.Collecting less percentage of income tax from women.
Having special programmes,policies,schemes and welfare measures for women run by government excluding men.
Having pension for widows but not for widowers.
Having govenment run self employment programmes by government especially for women.
Giving a woman welfare officer the power to suspend a polic officer if he refuses to book a case which is apparently false.
Cultural Misandry:- Treating Women as devis but not treating the men as the same.
The concept of ladies first when saving lives and when boarding the bus and in other instances.
Societal Misandry:-Treating men as criminals who want to commit crime especially against women because they are women right from the time when they breath their first breath inside their mother’s womb.
Donate every month definitely considerable amount of money to the men’s organisations to fight all these dimensions of misandry.
For all the people who are interested to fight feminism I earnestly urge them to go through a website dedicated for the rights of men.
Do not consider it a waste of time as this person who is the author of this website seems to know pretty much everything about feminism.
The illogical trend of giving custody of child only to mother takes toll on men and their children too.
The custody of child should be be given to the one who will take the best care of the child. Shared parenting should be promoted for better development of the kid.
There is trend of mothers seeking child custody only for the money they get from the husband. One can clearly see that such mothers are abusing the child and such monster moms better be kept away from the child. http://lifenstory.com/monster_moms