This survey is closed
In all domestic violence surveys conducted previously, the survey focused on gender biased definition of the crime. Even UN, USAID and NFHS failed to study this crime in gender neutral manner. This is first of its kind effort to capture domestic violence data in detail to understand the magnitude of this crime against Indian men.
For the purpose of this survey husband/wife includes live-in partners and marriage includes live-in relationships
Verbal and Emotional Violence
Thanks for taking your time for this survey.
Please share this survey with others and help some NGOs collect more data.
Share your valuable opinion and let the world know about the same
1. Name: Sandip Sen
Comment: Good poll
Time: October 6, 2014 at 11:00 pm
2. Name: Satyendra
Comment: This is true that Indian men and their families are in problems because of wives and our legal system. There should be equality in the society to balance. But we found gender biased rules and very disturbed in life.
Time: October 6, 2014 at 11:00 pm
3. Name: sathya
Comment: Dear Partha, appreciate all your efforts to show the real bias in our society and how everybody is utilising this to their short term gains at the cost of boys/men! Hopefully neutral body will come forward to do research and bring changes to reduce men’s responsibioities and pains which society and system have convienietly ignored that men are also humans! Salute your efforts mate.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 2:50 am
4. Name: Ram looking for justice
Comment: DV law should gender neutral.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 7:37 am
5. Name: ramesh
Comment: I felt all the economic,physical,verbal abuse from my wife everyday in my life.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 8:19 am
6. Name: Hussein Ali
Comment: Where to start from, still paying the price of marriage, stll suffering for the crimes i did not commit. Such is the heights of frustration that I wished I had taken dowry and troubled her, atleast the pain that I am suffering could be justifiable. Empowerment Women has robbed my life of my precious years that NOBODY WILL EVER RETURN ME. Paying Price of being Men in India.. Taliban where are you..
Time: October 7, 2014 at 11:51 am
7. Name: Avinash
Comment: Excellent poll…
Time: October 7, 2014 at 12:19 pm
8. Name: aaa
Comment: Good servey
Time: October 7, 2014 at 12:27 pm
9. Name: R S Chaudhary
Comment: Twice she registered false DVA case much long after she had left the matrimonial home without husbands fault.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 1:29 pm
10. Name: Jyoti Prakash Rath
Comment: Thanks to find ways to bring men’s problem out to society . men are harrassed ….it is difficult for majority of people to understand it .
Time: October 7, 2014 at 2:09 pm
11. Name: rakesh
Comment: I am proud to take this survey to express my feelings
Time: October 7, 2014 at 2:33 pm
12. Name: Vijay
Comment: Indian men are suffering more domestic violence from wifes.
Especially who were educated and knows the flaaws of indian laws are causing this damage.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 2:34 pm
13. Name: JB
Comment: It is one of the most extensive and exhaustive poll which does not only helps men understand if DV happened to them, but more so makes them understand what all is DV.
Innocent Husbands (all of the Husbands) don’t even know that as per the definition of DV in India, wife demanding money again and again for illegitimate / avoidable expenses is DV on them. Husbands ignore this, Society ignores this, Courts ignore this and unfortunately, Law ignores it too.
I am hopeful that this survey will be an eye opener just not by it’s results but also by sheer reading of the queries.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 3:07 pm
14. Name: Biswobhusan sar
Comment: Please help, I am really in to trouble and I love my daughter who is with my wife and we are living separately, she is not interested to stay with me. Thanks.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 4:51 pm
15. Name: JB
Comment: Much needed survey. Good effort, let the truth comes under the sun.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 5:35 pm
16. Name: Anupam Dubey
Comment: Dear Partha, all your efforts are worth appreciating. Excellent poll
Time: October 7, 2014 at 6:08 pm
17. Name: gourab
Comment: Thanks for creating such survey!
Time: October 7, 2014 at 6:54 pm
18. Name: sk
Comment: Good one 🙂
Time: October 7, 2014 at 7:57 pm
20. Name: amit
Comment: I just hate my marital life i will never wish to get marry once again in my life better den marriage i would like to adopt baby
Time: October 7, 2014 at 8:26 pm
21. Name: santanu
Comment: Good poll
Time: October 7, 2014 at 8:29 pm
22. Name: JJWS
Comment: Domestic Violence by wives is the most common yet under-reported phenomenon in Indian society. It is lost in the noise of ‘women-empowerment’. Problem is the stereotypical yet grossly false imaging of wives as ‘abla naaris’ when wives have proved themselves to be diabolical and grotesque against their husbands and in-laws.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 9:28 pm
23. Name: satish
Comment: my wife and her family wuld not only insult me even my family.
For no fault of mine.her fault i am facing 498a,dv and now divorce.on
She aborted first baby on her parents advice.when asked why?
i am facing false 498a,dv and divorce cases
Time: October 7, 2014 at 10:36 pm
24. Name: santhosh kumar
Comment: Because of her parents, especially her mother, she lost her standard livelihood and child with me and by me.
Time: October 7, 2014 at 11:54 pm
25. Name: Dr Ashwani Kumar
Comment: Nice Survey
Time: October 8, 2014 at 12:53 am
26. Name: ashish
Comment: Some of the que are irrlevant as per me. You should have included the option of in-laws too since they are play a major role
Time: October 8, 2014 at 8:33 am
Response – In-laws are not covered under our DV ACT, hence did not include.
27. Name: gursharn
Comment: Some of the option not suitable for just one months marriage …. …. if possible add NA with all.
Time: October 8, 2014 at 9:44 am
28. Name: AMOL
Comment: This kind of survey needs to be submited with Govt
Time: October 8, 2014 at 10:19 am
29. Name: JANAK MERCHANT
Comment: There are all kinds of violence taking place on Indian men all over India. Worst is emotional and then comes financial. In the end it all boils down to wife wanting lots of hard earned money of her husband.
Time: October 8, 2014 at 2:19 pm
30. Name: Parikshit Goyal
Comment: Look forward to this poll making the spark needed to light Fire. Long awaited on continued injustice against Men. The Bias, needs to Stop. The cruelty needs to stop. The real culprits need to be punished.
Time: October 8, 2014 at 3:11 pm
31. Name: G M (Sonu)
Comment: Somebody Please help, I am really in to trouble and I love my Wife , My Daughter and without my fault she left my home and she is living separately with her Parents from last eleven months i am trying to convince and requesting her to come back to our home but she is not coming, She is not interested to stay with me even she always threatens us and demanding money again and again, my wife and her family insult me so many times In spite of that i don’t want to spoil my married life. The real culprits needs to be punished.
Time: October 8, 2014 at 4:38 pm
32. Name: sahil
Comment: Good survey
Time: October 8, 2014 at 4:57 pm
33. Name: sajan
Comment: Why domestic violence against man is not serious issue?
Time: October 8, 2014 at 5:32 pm
34. Name: Mr A sharma
Comment: options are limited in its reach to understand DV
Are u not taking opinion of men who are not battered by their wives ???
Time: October 8, 2014 at 6:38 pm
Response – In all the questions we have an option for replying in negative.
35. Name: Suresh
Comment: Thanks for conducting this survey.
Time: October 9, 2014 at 11:52 am
36. Name: Vikas
Time: October 9, 2014 at 5:00 pm
37. Name: DURGA
Comment: laws MUST be gender neutral for god’s sake
Time: October 9, 2014 at 5:02 pm
38. Name: Vaddy Venkata Satish Kumar
Comment: Victim of false cases…..
Time: October 9, 2014 at 5:26 pm
39. Name: abhishek kaushik
Comment: Feeling gud be the part of this survey. This section made life hell. And still going on but I felt really bad abut mom and sis why they have been trapped into all this mess. It was me who done the love marrige to her. I think it law should be equal for everyone.
Time: October 9, 2014 at 6:12 pm
40. Name: Partha TR
Comment: This poll is a path-breaker. We hope to see many more polls of this nature to let the world come out and openly admit to the fact that men are also subject to domestic violence by women
Time: October 9, 2014 at 8:54 pm
41. Name: RV
Comment: This is verbatim from various women in silicon valley :Economic abuse Very common : “My money is for vacations and shopping. His money is for family”
In fact, it is not even an abuse. It is considered ‘normal’. It happens in my own family right now (relatives). It happened on Kaun Banega Crorepati when a mom of a lady responded in a similar fashion and everyone laughed. I never thought of it as economic abuse actually. Even today, my dad thinks after losing his health to all the cases still thinks that it is ok for a wife to not contribute to household earnings.
Verbal abuse: Again, very common . Men are expected to abuse physically and women will abuse verbally and emotionally. Sitcoms joke about it. But this is now (rightly) being recognized as an abuse
Sexual: For me, it only happened once she was having an affair. Guys don’t tend to talk about it so I don’t have any anecdotal .
All of these incidents are from silicon valley with the husband and wife working in the well known companies like Google, Facebook, Cisco, LinkedIn.. There are plenty of divorces happening in these companies and extremely common in couples where both have done MBA from top universities and have no child.. Its interesting to do a demographic study.
Time: October 9, 2014 at 9:14 pm
42. Name: Hemant Dokwal
Comment: आदमी को बली का बकरा बना के रखा है। इन औरतो ने
Time: October 10, 2014 at 9:11 am
43. Name: tom
Comment: good survey , but please add NA to each question because some of them really need it
Time: October 10, 2014 at 10:46 am
44. Name: Chendu reddy
Comment: It’s hardly been 2 months since I got married, but the amount of verbal, physical and emotional torture and threatening things I went was almost going to hell everyday. My mother is a single parent and she used extensive abusive language which was unbearable.
Her mother witnessed the behaviour of her daughter, but no action took place. However they started demanding money and maintainence. Also threatening me that they will put dowry harassment case and other possible cases. I’m ready to fight against everything to ensure that such females are a disgrace to women in the society.
Time: October 10, 2014 at 12:38 pm
45. Name: Syed Fasih ahmed
Comment: Pls suggest what to do
Time: October 10, 2014 at 4:45 pm
– Please call 08882 498 498 for any help
46. Name: krishna
Comment: yes true indian innocent men their families faceing so many prablem disgustive wives and legal systems
Time: October 10, 2014 at 7:27 pm
47. Name: Zodiac498
Comment: Such surveys should be promoted more among Indian men who are always taken for granted by the Govt. Such surveys are necessary at the grass root level and in collaboration with various other NGOs and Govt orgs.
Time: October 10, 2014 at 10:21 pm
48. Name: Chirag
Comment: Thanks for putting this survey.
Time: October 10, 2014 at 10:35 pm
49. Name: mrapoorna
Comment: The world created a place for women to report domestic violence but there is no forum for men to report. In fact, men shouldn’t report domestic violence in India – He will be labeled as impotent or he need to face any/all the pink crime (section 323 to 498a).
Time: October 11, 2014 at 10:44 am
50. Name: Kiran
Comment: Please add, i dont know option, in my case i have a doubt that my wife has a extra marrital affair but not sure.
Time: October 11, 2014 at 10:46 am
Reply – You can ignore the question
51. Name: MALAY BHATTACHARYYA
Comment: I most humbly feel that laws like DV Act should be gender neutral & for 498A etc, there must be mandatory punishment for the false allegations and wrongly accused person should be monetarily compensated by the perjurer.
Time: October 11, 2014 at 2:12 pm
52. Name: Gajanfar Chamanshaikh
Comment: wife takes cover of law favourable to them in India to grab the property of husband and to enjoy the extra marital affairs threatens of consequences of law taking care of them.though husbands are in constant fear of illegal legalities.
Time: October 11, 2014 at 3:01 pm
53. Name: Venu
Comment: Good one , thoroughly appreciated
Time: October 11, 2014 at 7:28 pm
54. Name: susinjan bhattacharya
Comment: wive centric laws has turned marriages to contractual demand of sexual service and killed the sacredness of marriage. now marriages are source of income and extortion, harrasment by wive and her blood relations. laws also permit wives safely misuse laws at husband’s workplace and damage their professional career and it is more where such bitter relations work at same place.
Time: October 11, 2014 at 8:40 pm
55. Name: Mihir P Bhatt
Comment: 1. If a wife should be earning, but if she is very selective that husband should not buy anything from her money, her money should not be spent for the household expenses. In other words, it is like that “what she is earning is her own, and what I am earning there is her share always. Her economic freedom and power of her earning are clearly visible.
2. In sexual abuse or harassment, wife may not be interested at all in intercourse. More over she may be neglecting her husband’s need knowing fully well that now a days a husband can not sho his right on her body.
Time: October 11, 2014 at 10:04 pm
56. Name: Hitbad
Comment: Good survey …Indian man is bound with marriage law.
57. Name: virendra gupta
Comment: since last 17 years i am fighting the cases and i am travelling from vadodara to ujjain my wife belongs to ujjain. i am giving 5000/- rs maintainance per month. my wife is government teacher and she is earning approx 25,000/- rs per month and because of travelling and the cases i am not be able to do any job or business. thanks
Time: October 12, 2014 at 1:27 am
58. Name: बृजेश
Comment: यदि आप जयपुर या उसके आस पास से है और पुरुषों की पीड़ा को समझते है और उसके प्रचार प्रसार एवं पुरुषों और उनके परिवार वालों की मदद करने की सोच रखते है तो सेव इण्डियन फैमिली आपसे निवेदन करती है की “पुरुष आयोग” की हमारी मुहीम हेतु जयपुर में साप्ताहिक बैठक की शुरुआत करे | अधिक जानकारी हेतु संपर्क करें :-
जयपुर सेव इंडियन फैमिली साप्ताहिक मीटिंग-
मीटिंग स्थल- जवाहर सर्किल गार्डन, पार्किंग की तरफ, फोर्टिस अस्पताल के पास, टोंक रोड, जयपुर
दिन- प्रतेक बुधुवार
समय- शाम 5 बजे से 8 बजे तक
महेन्द्र साईंवाल 8107017762
अखिल भारतीय हेल्पलाईन- 08882-498-498
आपकी जानकारी के लिए हम इस बैठक के उद्देश्य बताना चाहते हैं –
१. झुंटे दहेज़ प्रताड़ना IPC 498A, 323, 406, 306, 376, CrPC 125, 24HMA और घरेलु हिंसा अधिनियम से पीड़ित पुरुषों एवं उनके परिवारजनो की निस्वार्थ एवं निशुल्क मदद |
२. पुरुष आयोग की जरुरत को बढ़ावा देना |
३. सेव इन्डियन फैमिली को जयपुर में दिशा निर्देश करना |
४. अधिकारियों , मीडिया और आम जनता से वार्तालाप करना |
५. जनता को जागरूक करने हेतु समय समय पर कार्यक्रमों का संचालन करना |
६. भिन्न भिन्न क्रियाये जो समय की मांग को देखते हुए जरूरी हो |
अगर अपने आप को इस काबिल समझते है कि पुरुषों और उनके परिवारों पर हो रहे अत्याचार को जनता तक पहुंचा पायेंगे तो फिर अवश्य कॉल करे | पुरुषों के हित के लिए आगे आइये | तो इंतज़ार किस बात का – तुरंत कॉल करें |
Time: October 12, 2014 at 1:44 am
59. Name: Madhab Mitra
Comment: I am a victim of 498A
Time: October 12, 2014 at 7:01 am
60. Name: Pawan Mahla
Comment: One of the most survey… excellent.
Time: October 12, 2014 at 7:07 am
61. Name: Ahmed
Comment: Hope to raise awareness.
Time: October 12, 2014 at 9:15 am
62. Name: Harpal Singh
Comment: Its nice poll for collecting data relating to voilance against MEN, hope law makers will have a look on the results and will change to the law to make it gender neutral and having penal provisions for misusers.
Time: October 12, 2014 at 11:40 am
63. Name: ARUN KUMAR SHARMA
Comment: Nice work
it should be done clearly and constantly by other types of media and communications also.
and legal help should also be provided to the aggrieved husbands.
Time: October 12, 2014 at 3:42 pm
64. Name: xguy78
Time: October 12, 2014 at 7:58 pm
65. Name: shiv
Comment: loop sided laws,greed of money quick money by misusing law, ultimately renders women to spend their lives as spinster, the institution of marriage & the sanctity of this institution is threatened, women need to wake up before it is too late, cause they too have brothers,law makers should wake up too as the danger is lurking in their backyard, Thanks for presenting the reality to the world,men beware! don’t get married or else be prepared to be thrown out of your own house along with your parents
Time: October 12, 2014 at 9:16 pm
66. Name: murali
Comment: Me and my wife separated from7 months,she is threatening by saying she will fail false complaints on me and my entire family
Time: October 12, 2014 at 9:32 pm
67. Name: prithvi
Comment: Laws should be change.today’s bad minded persons are misusing the laws.if this 498a and dv continue there will be no happy family in future.this is expanding like a virous and effecting base roots of family.
Time: October 12, 2014 at 11:49 pm
68. Name: Xavier
Comment: Appreciate effort being taken
Time: October 13, 2014 at 12:20 am
69. Name: S.Kumar
Comment: DV law should be gender neutral.
Time: October 13, 2014 at 12:23 am
70. Name: venkatesh
Comment: Suffer.. suffer.. suffer the mantra of bad marriage; Till when I should be suffering like this?
Time: October 13, 2014 at 12:23 pm
71. Name: Amit Goswami
Comment: This Is Very Useful Survey
Time: October 13, 2014 at 2:35 pm
72. Name: Sabyasachi Sengupta
Comment: For lodging false 498A case against me, my wife’s intention was to control me just like her own teddy bear. And my MIL’s intention was to make me “Ghar-Damad”. They forced me to cut-off relation with my parents and that causes to much trauma to my father that he died ( not suicide, but he left all hope to live ). Before death he wrote a note saying how my MIL is torturing my whole family. My MIL filed a false 498A case against me the next day my father died. She is an active member of “Mahila Samiti” in South Kolkata. She uses her husband as a trained dog and wants the same in our married life. After joining SIF, I got to know that I am not alone, there are lacs of husbands in India who has exactly the same story.
Time: October 13, 2014 at 3:01 pm
73. Name: sunir
Comment: pls save us (men) from these cruel species called wives.
Time: October 13, 2014 at 6:31 pm
74. Name: Sunil Kumar
Comment: I wish if politicians could ever think that their vote bank is either ways taking a hit due to not taking an ethical step on gender biased laws.
Time: October 14, 2014 at 1:50 am
75. Name: Gladiator
Comment: It’s high time to reveal all these facts to the authorities and to break their silence in this issue. Indian politicians have one track mind and just for the sake of their vote bank they purposely ignore the facts. The time is not too far when boys will prefer not to get married …alway in India, where the laws are extremely one sided and biased.
Time: October 14, 2014 at 7:24 am
76. Name: C.Rajesh
Comment: I suffrered lot by my wife & his family, they are balck mailing me everytime.
Myself & my family members mentally ill due her.she is telling i wont live with you
but they asking for 16 lakh as compensation. i need help . please help me.
Time: October 14, 2014 at 8:36 am
– Please call 08882 498 498 and you will get free help by our counselors across India.
77. Name: mayank dua
Comment: A victim of all possible cases against me and my family members although me and my wife lived in different city from my parents from day 1 of my marriage becoz of our job. God help me
Time: October 14, 2014 at 3:59 pm
78. Name: Sachin
Comment: Hope to see a positive action taken to protect innocent Men from the clutches of unscrupulous women and women organisations who misuse the biased laws. Women who files false cases should be given severe punishment and should be considered as a threat to human civilisation and should be quarantined.
Time: October 14, 2014 at 4:28 pm
79. Name: madhusudhan rachakonda
Comment: help me i am thretening by my wife for false dowry harashment case call..
Time: October 14, 2014 at 5:49 pm
80. Name: sudhir pandey
Comment: i am faded up ..feel to commit suicide and need of help
Time: October 15, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Call 08882 498 498 urgently
81. Name: Mamta Gupta
Comment: इस सर्वे में हम नहीं आते हैं. फिर भी हम अपने मन की बात रखना चाहते हैं. आज हर दूसरे घर में यही समस्या है किन्तु अपनी व्यथा दूसरों से शेयर करने की लोग हिम्मत नहीं जुटा पाते. आज लड़कियों और उनके परिवारीजनों के लिए शादी जल्दी से अमीर बन जाने का धंधा बन गया है. लड़कियां संपन्न परिवारों के भोले भले युवकों को अपने जाल में फंसा कर शादी करती हैं, फिर कुछ ही दिनों में किसी भी बहाने पति और उसके परिवार को दहेज, घरेलु हिंसा जैसे केसों में फंसा कर उनकी जायदाद हडपने की कोशिश करती हैं.
इन लड़कियों के लिए घर परिवार संभालना नौकरों का काम है. ये पति से ज्यादा अपने कैरियर (की आड़ में स्वछंदता) को महत्त्व देती हैं. ये पति को ही प्यार नहीं दे सकतीं तो उसके परिवार को क्या मानेंगी ? पहले लोग चिंता करते थे कि दामाद संस्कारी हो. पर अब लोग चिंता करते हैं कि बहू संस्कारी हो.
Time: October 15, 2014 at 3:36 pm
82. Name: Anurag Goyal
Comment: I am really in a big problem just because of this biased law. I want help for my family members and for me.
Time: October 15, 2014 at 4:00 pm
83. Name: Sachin
Comment: Thanks for the survey, society marginalizes us at every step and use us to further their cause. I do not want to be used any more.
Time: October 15, 2014 at 9:47 pm
84. Name: NKJ
Comment: I am suffering from trauma after being jailed for 22 days for not being able to pay Rs. 25 lacs to my wife’s brother.
Time: October 16, 2014 at 1:46 am
85. Name: Ashish Agarwal
Comment: Have always assumed that marriage will make life happy but Now recognised that marriage is the worst decision of my life. I have cared for her & her family but they have tried to take me under their command through false allegations. Finally they first attacked on my house & later put False 498a on me & my family. I have CCTV footage for the whole incidence. U r doing a good job by doing a survey on domestic violence on men in India. Hope it will wake up Indian government that all men r not bad & not all women r innocent
Time: October 16, 2014 at 11:01 am
86. Name: Anand Prakash Rao
Comment: Abuse and violence by women/wife on husband has been legitimized by UN and different governments by completely ignoring it.
87. Name: sabyasachi79
Comment: Well, I am a member of SIF Bangalore. My wife had put a false 498A case (4 yrs before) the day my father expired, to put me, my mother and my sister in jail when we were already mentally and physically shattered. She never stayed in our house so that my mother or sister can even touch her, forget torturing. We did not ask or take any bribe in any form. My MIL wanted to make me her ghar-damad and deliberately ruined all my relations with my parents. She ( my MIL ) is an active member of Mahila Samity in Kolkata.Her Tantrik ( using whom she killed my wife’s first lover ( before marriage ) told her that her daughter will get peace only from her second husband. So she made it a pont that my marriage was just to remove the curse from my wife’s fate. I have a daughter of 7 yrs, for her I am ready to even die. SIF helped me to stand at my point and fight back real strong. I fought my own way. I wanted to pass one simple message. Even though I told all my friends and relatives about my incident and I never kept quite and let myself die, I typed my entire story and gave hard copy to everybody I know. Everybody seemed to understand and gave me suggessions. But as soon as my wifes approached apart from a few of my very close relatives, all went in her favour. God and my patience helped me to get full control on this case. But what I understood and want to share with you is…..The entire society is not yet ready to understand and feel the pain of men. Mostly it is the men who are ready to cut the branch on which they are sitting. It is us who need to change. Not “police” nor “Women Council” nor “Juridiction” nor “Politicians”. We men are still very reluctant, selfish and alligned to “Abola Nari”. Even though we know she is using us (using false cases), we are ready to fight for them. Whereas women became much smarter now-a-days. If one woman is in trouble thousands will stand with her blindly. We guys need to learn this from them. It is not bad to learn from anybody. Please Please Please feel for 65K Indian husbands who sacrifice their lives every year just to give us proof and strength to fight for us. Should we let their sacrifices go in vain just like that ? I hereby promise to save as much husbands as I can till there is gender equality in India and our mind set is changed. Are you with me ?