Feminist advocacy of marital rape – a hollow promise of women empowerment

Cry Rape
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Recently feminists have protested vigorously for introduction of ‘Marital Rape’ in India. There is a blog that addresses this and advocates the same. This is an open letter to the blog writer who is promoting fresh legal terrorism in India –

You said, “in our laws wife is considered as a property to husband”. Good, even I am against it – so please abolish laws on maintenance that forces a husband to maintain a non existent wife and in Adultery law make wife punishable. Today, if wife is given so many facilities from husband that is because on marriage a husband becomes duty bound to maintain his wife, including those who are working, adulterous leeches.

Regarding Pratiksha Baxi’s analysis – Per her argument, the basic premise of introducing ‘Marital Rape‘ is other countries have this provision. You all have started this debate afresh after Delhi incidence which has NO connection with ‘Marital Rape‘. How conveniently you are missing the fact that global laws on rape are gender neutral including marital rape. There are women who are found raping men and boys and punished too. So need of the hour is to make the original rape law gender neutral and punish (jail term) false complainants. I am not sure in an era when LGBT rights is talked of, demanded and ensured to certain extent what is the problem of feminists like you to accept the hard reality, unless you want to save the criminals. The main argument of non characterization of women only means that even prostitutes can file rape cases without being raped. That only means putting a hard STOP to all kind of sexual activities in India. That will only make life miserable for all (including women who are having good sexual life today) and lead to increased violent crimes.

Now regarding the theory that women are always trafficked and forced into prostitution is also not valid nowadays. Many do this to earn some easy bucks and thanks to people like you, they still get equal or more honour compared to hard working women who are decent and work hard to earn a living. Recently even Hon. Supreme Court has observed that more number of high society females are getting engaged in sex rackets and asked our govt. to curb that.

When one says “don’t judge us by what we wear and we are free to wear anything and everything anywhere”..I wonder how you want to control the civic sense of some women. Even men are NOT supposed to wear anything and everything in all places. I wonder how displaying private parts in public can be a rights issue. I wonder why anyone would want to promote voyeurism in that form.

This only shows that Pratiksha Baxi being a lawyer herself has some vested interest in bringing in this legislation and finds her legal business being inflated with introduction of yet another section. Now coming back to your analysis, let’s discuss them point wise –

First – How do you think the marital rape will be proved? Lawyers say these will be proved like in any normal rape case. How funny – In normal cases medical examination and proof of rape like sperm traces on victim’s body, presence of the accused in the spot, inebriated state of the parties etc are seen. It is more likely that in marital relationship all these evidences will be quite normal to be available. Then only point of contention will be to prove the consent clause. In ALL such cases it will be verbal. How do you expect anyone to prove? Now when tomorrow the conviction rate becomes abysmally low, people like you will again jam India gate demanding increasing conviction rate, judiciary reforms etc and accepting women’s verbal evidence or false affidavit as more powerful than anything else. This is what we have in stupid DV act. And then all husbands will be sent to jail simply on wife’s verbal evidence, and this will surely make all husbands a rapist.

In this argument you have categorically demanded introduction of criminal marital rape provisions saying DV Act is Civil (which is not, it conducted in criminal courts only punishment is payment of money and property in the form of maintenance. Again for not paying maintenance a husband is jailed). So you want to project all husbands as criminals rather than thinking about possibility of a mismatch between sexual drives of two people. When a woman is nymphomaniac, when you say don’t look at her sexual history or her sexual conduct then why you want to do the same for a man? Why not peaceful divorce only? In a marital relationship most of the times we adjust with our partners and that is what love and understanding means and that is what makes a long standing relationship. By bringing in this element of criminalization you are striking at the basis of any happy marital life. This will surely break our families. Even if we have regular quarrel with any of our neighbors we don’t easily go to police or court. Why you want to bring such nuisance in our private life?

So it is evident that your argument is not only weak but is motivated to create a new business for advocates and other women NGOs (so we understand your money making plan now).

Second – So you don’t agree to high misuse of family laws, 498a, DV, maintenance or adultery laws (even though u have not mentioned about other laws). Anyways I feel pity for your ignorance. Today, whenever a marriage breaks that becomes a problem of dowry, DV and others. We have also seen wives taking shelter under adultery laws and many children are cheated of their true identity.
With this so called empowerment of women you have given shelter to criminal women, helped in breaking Indian families and also promoted prostitution in our society. Now you are afraid of gender neutral marital rape law because a wife can also be accused under the same. Question is why do you believe that women can’t have sex without man’s consent? It may so happen that the man is very tired after a hard working day but the wife wants sex and husband has to comply. Don’t you think that is also rape of the man?

Now for arguments sake I take your word that a few married women might have to have sex without their consent in some situations. Similarly men also may have similar situation. In these cases if you want justice for the victim then why not suggest coming out of the relationship peacefully without sending anyone to jail? Because there may be incompatibility of sexual desire between two partners and that will NOT be good to criminalize this offence if done by one partner (yes, even if wife is offender).

The heavy misuse of family laws is only ‘SOME’ misuse to you. So, why not having punishment for these law misuses. You said ‘Lack of evidence’ is the reason for acquitting the accused. This only means without any substance women file such cases when they see their marriages breaking. Anyone giving the opportunity to legally extort money from others, will do so unless prevented by strict punishment for misuses. So when we all can understand the ‘Marital Rape’ is also a potential act where proving will be next to impossible for lack of evidence, why bringing such a criminal act in our marital relationships when you can’t stop paternity fraud? This will only generate business for lawyers with NO recourse for anyone. And middlemen like you and your NGOs will earn heavy profit from both the parties.

3rd – While I agree that at times partners do go against their partner’s wish in sexual matters but that is both ways. Even many a time men do submit to many wishes of their wives. These incidents never become criminal offence. Now people who wanted to bring in this legislation are all related to legal profession and their entire family may be in that profession. So they have vested interest like you do in bringing in yet another legislation to loot every family.

Regarding proving marital rape, I have already explained earlier how it will get stuck to the consent clause and making it difficult to prove any such incidence.

Conclusion – In your conclusion, you said the first argument assumes that women are weak and are worse off by sending their husbands to jail. This only leads to conclusion that you want these wives to send their husbands to jail and enjoy with their money and property. Do you think these women will be happy ever? And the reason why today many of our sisters and daughters not getting married is because of these one sided laws. Now no one trusts a girl and arranged marriages for girls have become SOOO very difficult. YOU are responsible for this situation and owe an explanation to those women and their families. This is another clear plan for extortion. This shows that people like you who advocate such provisions have only one thing in mind – extort money from ALL Indian families and making all our lives miserable while you earn whole lot of money.

Now regarding your second point of ‘women being dishonest’ was construed because India has seen misuse of dowry, maintenance and adultery laws over the years. Many people who fought for women’s rights in the country have realized the hard truth and they have realized that because there is NO punishment and always it will be ‘lack of evidence’ that will lead to acquittal of the accused, these laws are not for any good and need to be scrapped immediately. So India is up against your planned extortion and criminalizing all Indian marriages.

Lastly you blamed centuries of patriarchy for all these ‘stereotypes’. Well if patriarchy is bad why not scrapping maintenance and alimony clauses, why not making all laws gender neutral and punish women for their offences. Why not punishing the wife for her adultery? Why not forcing women to maintain their husbands, be a provider and protector for their families? Do you think India is ready for that? Hehe..I know you will not agree to any one of these because –

Patriarchy is never construed as bad when it provides free lunch to women or criminalize men just for being ‘men’.

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9 comments

  1. @ Pratiksha BaxiI I am 63 years of age and have no need for any sexual gratification . I however, do chat with lot of women on internet, only to understand what is happening in our society. I can tell you that today quite a chunk of College girls staying in hostels, women from affluent sections of society are into high end of prostitution, which is taking place under the very police force , which is supposed to enforce SITA , that too in ‘5/7 Star hotels. These women get paid through internet from foreign countries in advance as per terms of settlement. The advertisements about Escort Service is nothing but a front for this kind of prostitution. Some of the affluent women , who want pure sexual gratification & do not like the term ‘Escort/prostitute” go for Gigolos who serve their needs.
    Have heart and courage to do a Sting Operation to prove me wrong. Only the very poor are into what you will like to call illegal prostitution and persistently abused by not only the brothel owners but hounded by Police as well. It is a time gone by when ,affluent men were having “keeps/ harem” and poor had poor prostitutes to serve them. Pendulum has swung to other side. Modern women socialites, hire drivers to do multi-tasking for them. Some are adventurous. It was there in news, how few girls, abducted a young man on the roadside and had forced themselves upon him .
    In 80’s first generation Feminist Germanie Greer had coined the phrase “Marriage is a legalised form of Prostitution”……Second generation, that is present generation of women in an average age bracket 20-35 are out there in droves to prove her right, as they are in reality turning Marriage into a Legalised Form of Prostitution. They get Divorce under LEGAL TERMS and so also “LOOT” a man and his ancestors. The highest paid prostitute from their clan , will be that wife, who would have got herself “Maximum returns , per day of marriage” as part of Divorce Settlement….Yes one more thing…she can marry as many as she wishes and get divorce settlement from each man…

    .”After all educated prostitutes have to prove their mantle to uneducated ones…how to go about amassing wealth from stupid men, who will still be thinking of women to be Goddesses… ”
    Talking of “RAPE”….men are being raped day in and day out by women gangs on streets trying to encash Sexual Harassment Law, Maid Servants accusing old rich household owners staying alone, Interns accusing all & sundry including retired Judges,

    I can visualise …when men will start demanding all mens buses and rail coaches… going on strike against marriage after enactment of IrBM in present form…& 498A , DV already there to squeeze the man…..

    I have no issues against Matriarchy……. Please go ahead ……work whole heartedly for it…. I will take rebirth….just prepare my body physically…. no need to become an engineer or doctor…..just learn to speak English and how to behave in social circles….know how to dress up with costly gifts bestowed upon me … enjoy life fully as the owner of house as “HOUSEHOLDER” .. as I will employ some other to cook ..do laundry ..do house keeping…Go ahead usher in MATRIARCHY…and most probably with man to woman ratio skewed ..will have many more women running after me….than I having to pay / provide for them as of NOW….Then in truest sense…there wont be any dowry deaths….only more suicides by women… as her HOUSEHOLDER man would have been lured by someone more affluent and beautiful.

    I am reminded of a joke which used to go around in our hostel days…Women of yore ….had issues with themselves being “women” and having to bear a child for ‘9’ months and worse still having to undergo Labour Pains … They petitioned GOD and their PRAYER to shift the labour pain to Man was granted….only to realise that they have let the cat of secret out of the bag…..as the real fathers started having labour pains, whilst husband was expectantly preparing himself to go though the same… So my dear Feminize make your choice about Matriarchy with more of critical analysis…before it is too late….

    Liked by 1 person

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