Giving interviews are not easy simply because if these are live shows, you may have multiple participants (like Republic TV debates) and you may not be able to speak up. If these are pre-recorded interviews, you never know how during the final presentation the presenter twists the interview. That is why being an MRA and going against the herd is not easy.
Today, I will tell you about one such recent experience I had with a Lebanese Radio station, along with another Indian MRA from Mumbai and an equal rights activist from the Chicago, US. In this discussion, I will only discuss my answers and why I think that needs to be the MR perspective. This interview and some of my answers can shake the entire Gender Rights world and hence clarification about some (not all) answers are necessary.
MR Ongoing Issues
This is such a question that in the limited time it is difficult to highlight all and missing out any would be disastrous. Also, our top-of-the-mind-recall is always law-misuse and male suicide. To explore more closely parental alienation may seem to be bigger. Thus, this creates a great confusion. Problem is, in every discussion these points are discussed, and these have become stereotypical of MRM to always talk about law-misuse and suicide. This has gone to such an extent that many MRAs believe that these two are all about Men’s Rights and we need to break that stereotype.
To do that effectively, it is important we DO NOT talk about these stereotypical issues but talk about ‘misandry’ which is core of everything. This helps us establish that MRM is much bigger than how it is perceived and projected today. Everyone needs to understand the vastness of men’s rights only by extensive study about it and not try to jump to quick conclusions.
MRA Perspective of Women’s Rights?
Do you think Women’s Rights is needed? How much? When?
Dimensions of women’s rights are many. Perspective is created in many ways. Also, the MRA answer needs to be feedback to those activists and to general people and can never sound like justifying that movement. Because women already have more rights than men, justifying their movement now will mean demeaning Men’s Rights because if still there exists a bias against women, why is men’s rights needed?
It was very important to highlight what Women’s Rights activists are doing currently, what all their activism is aimed at. That is why it was important to tell that women’s rights movement is about taking away all their responsibilities and having only rights.
An MRA needs to highlight these points in every possible forum so that people who think ‘women’s rights’ is about equality and so on, are forced to rethink. Today, those who support women’s rights still think these are for their upliftment. They have all funny reasons to believe that and we as MRAs are responsible to highlight those, failing which even MRAs will not be motivated enough to fight for men’s rights.
If we simply say, ‘women’s rights’ is like any other ‘right’ (like animal rights etc); that will be a very inappropriate answer from an MRA as that tries to justify the ‘need’ of women’s rights in a world where women already have all rights and MORE. So, that will be suicidal to MRAs. However, many MR leaders do make that mistake and we have seen that coming from a veteran MR leader in the interview as well.
MRA Perspective of #MeToo Movement
When we elaborate our perspective about a movement like #MeToo, we need to remember that any social media allegation with a name and without any evidence is not only dangerous for the accused but also very harmful for the society.
So, MRAs can’t justify #MeToo movement in any manner. An MR leader saying that initially, #MeToo was going in the right direction and only later it became bad etc. is pure betrayal with Men’s Rights. Unfortunately, that is what some MR leaders think. They try to project as if #MeToo was needed, it gave women strength etc. They think this will help them justify #MenToo. But we have a clear distinction in these two movements and it’s important all MRAs understand that.
While #MeToo is proved to be attention-seeking exercise by women, #MenToo can’t be categorized like that. And that can be explained by existing misandry in men’s minds and male perception of abuse by women. Even though #MenToo exists, do men really understand they are being violated? Are men by nature attention seekers? The characteristics of attention-seeking almost never go with men. They do not come out even when they are really violated because that is the biggest shame to their masculinity. So, it’s important for MRAs to understand these concepts while giving this reply and don’t backstab MRM by saying #MeToo was justified.
Would You Stand Up For Women?
MRAs are often tricked by these questions. They end up replying – ‘yes’. This is a trick because MRAs are busy justifying their stand for men and to prove themselves as humans. These MRAs don’t believe that being an MRA alone do not need any justification. They do not need to stand up for women even ‘occasionally’ to justify them being humans. This is how MRAs lose their identity as MRAs and become equal rights activists and we all lose out significantly. This is because other MRAs listening to the conversation also ‘feel’ the urge of ‘occasionally’ fight for women’s right. Even tenured MR leaders fall for this trap.
These MRAs eventually split MRM into feminist groups. Many MRAs start thinking it’s okay to fight for women and actual MR issues get diluted.
That is why while replying to such questions, MRAs should never say that they are willing to fight for women’s rights. Have you ever seen women’s rights groups fighting for men’s rights? If the answer is no, then keep your priorities straight. MRAs were fooled to promote the movie Section 375 that was actually a feminist movie, don’t make such wrong decisions. These MR leaders ended up arranging for free shows of a feminist movie and ended up promoting the feminist cause. Now when leaders falter because of their ignorance, the entire movement suffers.
There was another question in this regard, would you stand up for women who are falsely accused of domestic violence by their male partners? If you look at the question, you will know that the question itself is wrong. In most countries in the world, only women can file a DV case against their male partners. Yes, that’s how biased our laws are. In a handful of countries where the law is gender-neutral, men are badly treated, too. When men raise such complaints, often they are the ones arrested by the police. You might have seen in Johny Depp and Amber Heard Domestic Violence decided in a UK court, how Johny Depp was punished despite presenting evidence that it was Amber Heard who committed Domestic Violence. So, by telling that an MRA will stand up for women falsely accused in a DV case is a trap for the MRA, which even leaders can’t avoid. They very often dilute the MR cause and divert to a dangerous equalist domain which is nothing but a feminist domain.
How Should Women Treat Men?
This is a very tricky question for everyone. It is even trickier for MRAs. The MRAs who are leaning towards feminism will be bowled over by this. They will tend to say, “women should treat men with respect. They should treat men the way they want to be treated etc.” These are very harmful answers for Men’s Rights activism and I shall explain how.
The moment you give an equalist answer to this question, you deny men the ‘right’ to get fair treatment from women. That is because the contribution of men and women are different in society and in the family. Even today, men are the primary breadwinner for a family and its men who provide for and protects women. So, men need to be respected more. For equalists, it gives goosebump when they hear this. But if someone calls him an MRA and still settle for ‘equal’ respect for men who are historically and even today contributing more towards building the society and providing for and protecting families and the society, that itself will be huge discrimination against men.
It is also important to understand simply because women need to keep men ahead of them and above them, that doesn’t mean inequality or oppression of women. We need a structure everywhere including in a family. Without a definite power structure, society is sure to collapse. At this point we need to understand this equality fallacy –
In a family, even though having a male-centred structure creates a male-dominated family system, that is how women get maximum love and care. That is why all traditional societies sustained for generations. The moment that power structure was removed families started breaking down. Similarly, you may see our children are loved by their parents today. But if tomorrow it is established that the children should have ‘equal rights’ as their parents, even the love and care for children will go away. Children will not be cared for and they will be more abused.
Now, you may have a pertinent question – why are we equating women with children? In a sarcastic note, let me ask you – is it any different even under the so-called ‘equal rights’ era? The problem with equal rights, (and I will be a feminist for a short while) is that women are made to fend for themselves. They are not loved, no one wants to take care of them and ultimately everyone in the family is having a miserable life. Why women will be better off when they accept male supremacy. This doesn’t mean men should hate women and oppress them and this can be understood from this interview of Indira Meshram –
More respect for men does not mean men will be free to abuse women. No. That only means men will be given their due position and credit for their contribution to society. If in a company there are certain employees contribute more, do you expect them to be satisfied with equal treatment as low performers? Simply because a CEO and a doorkeeper may work the same number of hours, should they be paid the same? If we believe in equality, should the Prime Minister be considered same as an ordinary citizen? If the answer to all the questions is ‘No’, there is a reason behind the same. We can not close down our courts because we are all equal and hence no one can judge us. The same courts, however, uphold the principles of equality. But can you go to a court and behave with a judge like your friend?
In all probability, we need to understand that equality is a myth and the moment we establish equality in a society, we destroy the same. Even Animals living in groups have a power structure within their groups.
Should Women Dress Up The Way They Want?
This is another tricky question that most MRAs are prone to go wrong. They will inadvertently say, ‘Yes’. But if we look at this problem none of us are free to dress the way we want. For every place we have dress code. Today, in the name of equality we see only men are restricted in dressing and women are not.
In the interview thus I have replied that – ‘no one is free to dress the way they want’. They need to dress according to the occasion. In a funeral ceremony I can not wear partywear, in a temple I can not be vulgar, in my office I can not wear shorts (And I am talking about global MNC IT giants, not local Mom-&-Pop shops). All this is fine for men. But I see women do not have any dress code. In my companies I find women coming in revealing clothes, wearing mini-skirts, hot pants and men are restricted wearing even traditional dresses on normal days (allowed on certain days though). I was scolded by my DV court for wearing T-shirt and keeping sunglass hanging from it in the court; whereas in the same court I have seen a woman wearing a cleavage-revealing dress and sleeveless blouse.
So, if any MRA replies to the above question that “yes, women are free to wear anything they want”; they are denying justice to men because even men are not free to wear anything they want. The moment we give such freedom to anyone, it becomes chaos.
That is why I have written this article earlier –
And to all the so called equalists of the world, the male and female sexuality works differently and no matter whether you think it’s only about ‘Indian’ culture, this pans across all the culture as human sexuality works the same way across the globe.
Solution To The Gender War
There is currently a war going on between men vs women’s rights. But how can this end? Equalists will tell you that when laws become gender neutral and when men and women are treated equally – this war will end.
However, as I have explained earlier, there can not be any ‘equality’ in this world. No society, organization or institution can survive based on equality. When we all become equal, we will become only individuals, the weakest persons will be abused and thrashed by anyone of power. The family and society can sustain only when everyone gets their due respect – not equally.
That is why CEO of a company needs to be respected more than the doorkeeper or any other ordinary employee. That doesn’t demean other employees, its only their due credit they get. But then the human values like love, care, respect even for people ranked below becomes of paramount importance. That is when we need to endorse human values from Vedic Society, where everyone was respected and people knew exactly where and how much they should be respected. Where women were supposed to ‘obey’ their husbands (men) but mothers could ‘scold’ their grown-up sons and sons (even kings) were supposed to ‘obey’ their mothers and elder sisters’ orders. But that also didn’t mean those elder women had the ‘right’ to unnecessarily interfere in the King’s work of ruling the state. That is a clear power structure needed in the family system and society to end this gender war.
There can not be any ‘equality’ in this world. No society, organization or institution can survive based on equality.
If you call yourself an MRA, you can’t just give politically correct answers. Most often those are against Men’s Rights. You need to stick to MR answers which are most often politically incorrect answers. If needed, you need to study more to justify those. If you do not have the courage to speak the MR answers, don’t go to debates or appear in interviews to take us backwards.
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