Be Single, but Not Lonely.
Yes, it’s really very difficult to manage your single life going against the norm of having a family, kids, get-together, family vacations etc. Men under such circumstances often try to find solace in drinking, partying and banging women around. Many men who remain involuntary celibates (Incel) often find themselves very lonely and out of place in this world. Some of them like Elliot Rodger takes the extreme step of hating women and killing some. Even though our relationship debacle may lead to serious consequences not only for ourselves but for our families and society as well, many of us are still not aware of a positive lifestyle approach that can give us happiness even in our single lives. That is why this article becomes important.
1. Stay Away from Digital Distraction
In today’s world, it’s important that we understand the harmful effects of the digital world. Single people are more often susceptible to such addiction. But a long-standing digital addiction can not only make you more frustrated but also it can take away your focus from real problems around you. You lose your attention span, empathy, creative and critical thinking. The digital world is often very negative in nature and that creates a huge impact on your body and mind. Remember, to be creative, you need to keep an open and free mind.
Also, you may observe that everyone else on social media portrays themselves as a happy and contented person. However, nothing can be farthest from the truth than this fake happiness. In fact, this can create more problems in you as you may find problems around you more disturbing and hence may lead to more frustration in you.
This is why it is important to keep yourself from all types of digital distraction. If you are single it is even more true, because very often you may find happiness in other couples more frustrating for you than your real problems. Any small problem in your life will seem like a bigger one. You will never get to know what is going on between those couples and how they are coping with those challenges. This is the reason it is important to keep yourself away from social media for the larger part of the day and restrict your social media presence to focus on other real-time life goals.
So, I will suggest it is best you delete all social media apps from your mobile so that you restrict your social media presence only through your laptop. That will automatically free up a lot of time for you.
2. Don’t Fall Prey to ‘Attention Economy’
In today’s world of the attention economy, everyone is busy seeking attention. Either online or offline. The happy faces you see on social media are very often fake. The digital advertisements always try to manipulate your attention towards them so that you buy their products and services and an unnecessary need is created within you.
More often than not you will find yourself falling prey to these advertisements. Any feeling of cheating may frustrate you further. You may get addicted to online gaming or casino or even get duped for any other services. Such distractions can offer you temporary relief from any pain, but you will essentially lose a lot of time and energy and take a detour in life from your real-life problems and will fail to work towards a solution to those. So, it’s important you reclaim your mind from such digital distractions.
3. ‘Toggling’ or ‘Switching Tasks’ Will Not Make you Efficient
Very often when we watch TV or engage in any online activity we tend to toggle between tasks. It is important we understand that the human brain is not equipped to do ‘multitasking’ (doing multiple things at the same time). All we are doing by switching between tasks is reducing our neural energy, our efficiency.
So, it’s important to focus on one task at a time, take it to a logical stage where you can’t proceed any further without external input and then stop. That way you will not only be more effective but will also retain your energy. It’s also important to take short breaks at a regular interval to energize yourself. If you think you are getting addicted to anything, (once I thought I was getting addicted to blogging and ignoring everything else around me), stop doing that and take interest in any other completely different thing.
Another easy way to reenergize yourself to focus on a completely different thing for a while. For example, when I realized I was getting addicted to the internet, I have deleted all social media apps from my smartphone as a first step to come out of the addiction and focused more on reading books. Reading books helped me in a way to gather more knowledge and write better quality articles later. Also, focusing on people around you, connecting with your real friends may help in these situations.
4. ‘Creativity’ isn’t a special talent for a lucky few
I always recommend single men or men who are undergoing divorce and child alienation to engage in positive and creative tasks. Some people do have creative blockers and they think they can’t be creative. Problem is creativity is not a very special skill only for some people and it’s not restricted to painting, singing or artwork.
You can be creative in simple ways. For example, you can be creative in your social service role, you can be creative in doing business, you can be creative in your lifestyle. There is no end, no limit.
The reason, engaging in something creative, something unique is so important that it can keep you happy. It can create a positive feeling in you and can create positivity around you. You can break all rules to be creative and probably others will follow you. This positive energy will keep you going in the long term.
5. Practice Early Morning Yoga and Meditation
There is no second thought that people don’t understand that a positive lifestyle like practising Yoga and meditation are healthy ways of living, but still they don’t follow these basic steps in their life. It is more so when one is single. Men, especially those who undergo divorce and child alienation, resort to alcohol and more partying than following a disciplined lifestyle. There was a time when getting up early in the morning (say 5 am) was normal for humans. It’s no longer true. When we go to bed after 12 night, how can we wake up at 5 am? People who do not need to remain awake till midnight gives many other alibis to justify late sleeping. So, even when one needs to go to his work in the morning at 8 am, he still prefers sleeping at 12 PM rather than at 10pm. With everyone else around staying awake till midnight or later, it’s even more challenging for us to go to bed at 10 PM or earlier.
This is taking a toll on all our health, especially psychological health. We are trying to live a life against nature. We are always forcing ourselves to run against the clock to fulfil more tasks, and not getting any time for morning Yoga or meditation.
When our day starts with a feeling of rush and stress, how can we imagine a happy and calm life? Consuming alcohol and smoking weeds and taking heavy dinner in late-night parties, are making it worse for us. A heavy dinner often leads to incomplete digestion of food at night as our metabolic rate drops and that causes even more harm to our psychological and physiological well-being.
However, all these may fall in place, if we just stick to our basic, positive lifestyle and include early morning yoga and meditation a part of our daily routine. This small step can sort many things in the lives of single people in a positive way. And when you lead a positive lifestyle, you are bound to be happy in your own way. You don’t need to kill your enemies to survive. You will understand that your single life is a boon and not a bane.