Hi, I am Amrita, you can call me Ammu as well. Actually, my name does not matter, I can be any random woman around you, I can be your sister, mother, friend, girl-friend, fiancé, or fuck-buddy. In fact, today I will tell you my story- a story that belongs to every single Ammu of the world that the movie ‘Thappad’ showed you.

No, I am not from the movie Thappad, even though they used my name for the protagonist there. Taapsee Pannu played my role, she represented us – the world of Ammus. The Villain or the negative role is played by my husband, Vickram, no not the Landor on the moon that was on the news headlines for many days, he is the ‘launda’ who was supposed to be a human being who married Amrita in the movie, or me.

I am not going to tell you the full story of Thappad as otherwise, you will not watch the movie in theatres, in any case, we have huge reservation about the success of this movie as the toxic masculinist world will not like the concept. I am already, viewing male audience boycotting the movie or writing negative reviews about it.

We anticipated this toxicity to prevail and hence we wrote a Change.org petition in the name of Taapsee Pannu. Again, the name really didn’t matter, but you know these young actresses are good in selling our stories. So, we sent all of you potential (toxic) viewers an email from a name Taapsee Pannu, saying how Tapasee felt so bad while acting in any scene that demanded her to hit someone. Well, we have hidden the fact that mostly she enacted in scenes where she had hit men, but that is not the point. Point is she felt bad. But toxic MRAs will still raise the point that if she really felt bad, then why did she act (not that she wouldn’t be replaced if she didn’t want to act) in those movies or why didn’t she express her feelings back then but expressing only before the movie ‘Thappad’.

I, Ammu, was Papa ki Pari. You know what that means? We can kill you (yes, one girl really did) but you can’t hit us. That is why the Domestic Violence law is made. And my toxic husband, Vikram had to hit me for no apparent reason. Yes, I only tried to interfere in his heated altercation with his colleagues and tried to take him away. Now here it’s not the point that I tried to unnecessarily interfere in his business without he asking, it’s also not the point that I tried to pull him away but the point is he slapped me. How can he slap a Papa Ki Pari?

No, what you toxic guys are thinking, is not true. I didn’t break lose even after that Thappad. I just took it to my extra sensitive heart and made it heavy. Any other Ammu, a woman who is beaten up or even not, will understand. We all are bound by our vagina. I have been giving my whole day for his life and family for three years of my married life. I used to watch Shivani, my neighbour, the hot single mother played by Diya Mirza and think how happy she was in her single life. She didn’t have such a mundane life and she used to drive a bigger car than ours. That is your masculinist standard of success, right? I have given up on my hope owning that kindda car and house by being a dancing star – a dream I had all through my college years, only for Vikram’s family.

Now, the point here is not that it was my own choice of marrying a more successful man, as we woman will always do and will never marry a less successful one; point is also not that whether I had any chance of being a dancing star in this tough competition, point here is I didn’t give up the chance just to feel jealous of my neighbour and teach dancing to her kid. I mean, come on, do you guys, toxic masculinists even realize how much sacrifice that is? I don’t need to know if Shivani was actually enjoying the luxuries provided by her ex-husband and illegally abducted his daughter, but that is why our feminist world needs to be. This toxic society of men will never understand that.

This is the reason when my brother tried to push his wife, my father, I mean pari ki papa had to intervene and tell him to apologize. Because, we papa ki pari’s can do that, like I did to Vikram, but not masculinist guys. Pushing a woman is domestic violence, god damn it, when will you toxic men understand that? The opposite is never true, as I said earlier, a Papa ki Pari like Ammu or Amrita can kill someone but you can’t still beat her. Did you see how some of us, the great Ammu’s of Shaheen Bagh has kept Delhi hostage for so long? Did you observe that even SC had to give up? This is what we will do to you to the nation, and you can’t beat us up.

Remember, we the Ammu’s and Tapasee Pannu’s of the feminist world can take an entire democratic government hostage, so never try to mess with us. Men have created the institution of marriage to keep us in eternal slavery like housemaids. Very often the torture on our own housemaids by their husbands goes unnoticed. But we can no longer be maids.

That is why when you guys, the toxic males of Indian society, don’t realize the value of us, we the housewives take 50% of your property. Because I am the one who gave you your wallet, water bottle etc. when you go to the office. It’s not the point if we don’t, but the point is we do something else, say, for instance, household work, or taking care of your mother. Ok, fine, it’s also not the point that we the housewives force you guys to move out of your own house or abandon your parents most of the time and also force you to keep household maids, but the point is that is what Ammu did in the movie and you need to believe that as true. If you don’t, then you are a toxic brainhead, potential woman abuser.

If you have seen my father in the movie Thappad, yes, I mean Ammu’s father in Thappad, he wanted to be a good male role model but even he didn’t realize that he was oppressing my mother. My mother wanted to be a big star on All India Radio, but he didn’t specifically ask her to pursue singing as her career. Because my mother was not important to him. And yes, that is why even he is toxic.

Thappad, shows you why successful women lawyers like Nethra Jaisingh also needed to keep a fuck buddy who was a chef. We all need to keep one for sure. Otherwise, at the end of the day, when we reel in pain of loneliness in our empowered world, where do we release that frustration without fucking someone. There are plenty available nowadays. Those men who can’t even become fuck-buddies of aunties, are better be like incels and kill themselves.

The point here is not that, Nethra didn’t use her fuck buddy to get fucked; the point here is also not that no man would really care to get laid with a he-woman like Nethra, the point here is we women are always beautiful and sexy in our own eyes. Feminists can’t be ugly. Well, now don’t imagine the famous ** JaiSing lawyer you can think of. Well, she is our role model though.

The point here is also not that Nethra used her husband’s contacts to grow in her career and make huge money; the point here is, we still can’t talk about she giving her 50% property to her husband, like the way we housewives can claim. Well, often without a contribution in the family. But that is our choice because you as a man is constantly oppressing us, all Ammu’s, Tapasee’s and Shivani’s – by marrying us.

So dear men, please apologize. Apologize for marrying us and giving us a home, family, children; apologize for not pampering us every time you see us, apologize for not understanding what we are not saying, apologize for not cooking at home, apologize for giving gifts and expecting sex, in short – apologize for not dying.

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