Dennis Prager, a best-selling author of NYT and the host of The Dennis Prager Radio Show has recently written about a call made to him during his show. This call was made by a 50-year-old career woman who chose the feminist way of life. But after reaching 50 years of age she realized that following only the career and working hard to pay her bills has made her life detached from reality. Even though she had enough money to survive and pay her bills, she didn’t have anyone at home to be with her.
So, she wanted to tell the young women in their ‘20s that they should get married when it’s time because after attaining 40 years of age when a woman loses her looks, her confidence there would be no one to marry them. And at that age, those women will crave for human companionship. She had cats and dogs in her home, but a human companion was something she missed. She described her miserable times when she needed to go to doctor appointments or craved for going on vacation or for a dinner with someone. She didn’t have anyone to rely on.
So, her suggestion to the young women in their ‘20s was to find a soulmate when they are young, have enough sexual power to attract men and are flexible enough to change.
This column from Dennis Prager, however, created a lot of discussion around the topic of feminism and career choices of women and led to many interesting discussions that we will discuss and understand here.
In a comment, a user named KBlake suggested that women can’t have both a hi-flying career and a fulfilling family life. The trade-off between these two is often not understood. She gave her life example and said that even she had to give up
the dream of having a very high-flying career for being a family woman.
Very often feminists portray this as bias and say that women can’t have it all whereas men can enjoy the freedom and it is possible because some women make these sacrifices. They choose to be a stay-at-home mom. These women take up less-paying jobs, continue as part-time workers and thus voluntarily accept a lower paying job so that men can work outside home and make big money.
If you think that this world is unfair for women, think again. Because the alternative gender-just lifestyle hat feminists propose is a gender symmetrical society which will be even costlier (read this).
Because of this feminist propaganda around social bias in everything, as they failed to promote the family as a unit instead of breaking it into halves, many men are not encouraged to marry today. Even women in their ‘50s would have probably got companions but comments like these below tell us why women continue to remain single forever –
It is clear from the above messages that women truly have outpriced themselves in the market. There is no taker for them. The men who still try to promote women empowerment thinking that they would get sexual favours, eventually back off or those men who still want to get married, end-up in an abusive overly nagging relationship.
Added to the woes of nagging and fear of getting false cases, an elderly woman brings many other problems. Most often due to their wayward empowered lifestyle of smoking, drinking and other bad sexual disciplines in youth, they bring unwanted diseases into the man’s life. Today, almost no woman can be trusted with these. Since smoking and drinking of women has become acceptable, unless a woman discloses her past habits, a man has no way to know what she really did in her life.
Another important point is a woman’s sexual powers. They can give birth to children and can attract males simply by their sex appeal are two great powers they have but most women waste these in their youth. The modern lifestyle of partying, smoking, drinking adds to the woes and men after 40 get additional fear of marrying such women because of bringing home their diseases. By that time, she loses her power to give birth and hence becomes all the more undesirable.
That is why we see how some women in their late ‘30s and early ‘40s desperately try to lure men by wearing sexy dresses which make them look even more horrible.
It is not those young women today don’t want to start a family early in their life without fulfilling their dream career; there are some, but they don’t openly say that. The reason, social media backlash. An old timer had a unique solution to this problem –
Social acceptance is a major factor in both men and women’s life and most of what we do is driven by choices of other people. We, humans, follow a herd mentality and want to make our choices based on the choices of the majority of other people.
So, the main problem seems to be the feminist education and feminist values that are inculcated in our childhood. Feminists are raising girls as male hating gender who wants to compete with men in every sphere of life.
As a result, they are busy focusing on this competition in their youth and when they realize they need a companion and not only a sex-buddy, it is late.
However, some users saw this frustration in this lady in a different light. They commented that while the woman continued to enjoy the benefits feminism has provided to her, (free thinking, stable career, self-sustained life etc.) she still wanted more. Problem is, women don’t realize these issues when they are young. They think taking benefit of their sexual strength when they are young will ensure their freedom. But the attention they get while at a young age, goes away as they get old.
What feminism has done to women is that they learnt how to hate men in different ways. As a result, they don’t find men suitable for marriage. This
comes out as the real oppression of women where women lose their choice of being happily married or happily having a family. Some users, however, commented that the feminist was just looking for a man for paying her vacation bills and nothing else.
These people were not ready to buy her victim narrative. According to them, her life was in her control and not in anybody else’s control. She could still change
her life. But for men, it’s worse. Someone pointed out that #MeToo movement, divorce, rape, child custody etc. made men’s choices very limited and the list of biases not in a man’s control is getting longer every year.
But it was not like people didn’t think of a solution for her. She was advised to join some community service in churches and find like-minded males who might be looking for a companion. But in the era of twisted laws and biased
social system men were not ready for that kind of relationship. It is important for women to understand that when they expect men to marry them in their ‘50s, all that the woman is offering are some promises which can be broken anytime. Whereas these women are demanding a lot of sacrifices from the man. For example, why should a man marry such a woman who has nothing to offer, who has no sexual value and can be very much prejudiced against men and close to her own way of living? That is demanding a lot from men.
Sadly, when feminists promote their sexual value always, they become valuable only for their reproductive ability. So, in their ‘50s when they have no sexual value to offer, they get to live a lonely life.
In-spite of all these, an 82-year-old man had an encouraging story to tell for these women –
This is another problem that many people face when they want to get into a relationship much later in their life. They get so much used to their own lifestyle that it becomes difficult for them to adjust with a new person. When they become older than 80, they hardly have any sexual need. All they need is companionship and when both make decisions on how to lead their life, they get fulfilling afterlife. But if the man is wary of losing his bank balance and home at this age due to biased laws, he still may not be willing to take this unwanted risk.
This case and reactions from the public tell us a lot about modern feminism and how that is affecting our lives. It needs hardly any more explanation that the dream feminism has shown to women that they can “have it all” is a big lie. Earlier the women understand this, better it is for society.
[This article is part of my Modern Feminism series where I discuss modern feminism theories and implecations.
Read all articles of this series – here]