My Secular Marriage Turned Out to Be A Disaster in No Time

secular-marriage

My name is Sam. I’m 36-yr old, married with a child. I need your urgent help and my story goes like this.

I was married to this girl Shailaja in the year 2012. She was a Hindu girl but after my marriage, I was shocked to find out that she was already married to a Muslim guy in 2008. His name was Hussain and she changed her name to Fatima Hussain. The guy himself has shown me the Muslim marriage certificate and their wedding pictures. The woman who acted as a mediator never told us anything about her previous marriage. This was a huge blow to us.

She wasn’t even divorced and soon after our marriage, her husband started pressuring us to let her go. But because I was a pastor of a church. It was not that easy. I asked her if she really wanted to be with me and she was ready. So, we continued living together. By the end of July, last year she was speaking to him over the phone and he used to visit my apartment complex to meet her regularly though he was from Hyderabad and we lived in Visakhapatnam at that time. She was caught red-handed talking to him on my terrace by some of my neighbours who had chased him out.

I counseled her and as advised by my friends we went to have a child expecting at least the child would change her mind. But it was another blunder. One day she ran away with him and I pleaded and brought her back. I compelled her mother to file a case on that guy. She said she did, but later I came to know that she didn’t file any formal complaint. She only spoke to some constables in her local police station and the head constable from a Hyderabad Police station regularly used to call us to know if things were getting any better.

By this time, I realized that this girl was not what we thought she was. She cheated me and my family. When confronted her verbally before her mom and the mediator of our marriage Priya. They assured us that they’ll give her proper counseling and if necessary some psychological treatments as well to bring her back. But not only they didn’t bring her back, but they are also now refusing to allow me to see my child. Her family all of a suddenly changed colours turned against me and filed for a divorce with all false allegations in 2015. Ever since then I am fighting all false complaints.

As a Pastor, all I could do was to pray and wait on God. I refused to let her go because I have a child with her. She was forcing me to go for mutual divorce and when I refused she filed for a domestic violence case against my family. My father couldn’t take this torture anymore, had a hemorrhage and died soon.  My mom who is always at home praying is unable to take this pressure anymore. It is taking a toll on all our mental health. I feel very suicidal.

Above all these mental tortures, she claimed that she gave us Rs. 10 lakh dowry which is absolutely untrue. I swear in my God’s name that I did not take even one rupee in dowry. I lost my health now. I’m worried about my family as I’m the only child of my parents. If I die there will be no one to take care of them. Please help us. I spent almost 3 lakh rupees in the last three years for my lawyer and travel to Hyderabad. He doesn’t seem to help me much. Above all else, they even refuse me to see my only child. My in-laws are now threatening to file a harassment case against me. For god sake, please help us. I work with a church. I share Christian messages in churches and I am not sure why my God is not helping me. Please save us from this situation, we desperately need some help otherwise committing suicide is the only option for us.

Answer

Dear Sam,

It is indeed painful to hear stories like these. Liberals have destroyed our society and crippled judiciary by promoting false cases and corrupting judiciary. Moreover, Congress governments over many years now have recruited corrupt judges and ensured that justice is denied to all. The formation of all gender biased laws and promoting gender politics had been the main agenda of Congress and the Left Parties for years. They call themselves liberals, seculars but are the most dangerous elements to any liberal society.

I am sorry to say that your case is not unique. It’s only unique because you married in a different religion but all the sufferings you had are similar to those other males (irrespective of any religion) are facing today. Suicide is not a remedy for these problems. If you commit suicide then nothing will change, rather she will claim and acquire your property. Don’t be too emotional for your child but you need to fight for your child custody fearlessly. It will be a long-drawn battle, very often open for exploitation by the lawyers. The first thing you and your family needs now is mental strength. Meditation can help. Also, to come out of the mental trauma of being separate from your child can be won if you hide all her memories (like things she used, toys, dresses, photos, etc.) from your sight. Sometimes, it may require changing your place to come out of the trauma. I have a detailed article on how to come out of the trauma of child separation. You can read that –

This Is How You Need To Fight Depression From Child Alienation

I have other resources to help men like you on this blog. please feel free to browse through this blog to understand and take help as you require.

Also, from the case, it seems they may be a gang of wrongdoers who may be conning other males like you. I suspect that everyone, the woman, her mother, her previous husband, the mediator, everyone is involved in this con. So, I suggest please raise a criminal complaint of cheating you and your family under section IPC 420 against all of them.

Since your case needs patient hearing and face to face counseling. I suggest you contact any MRA group in your area and discuss with them. Once you meet them you will know there are people who are facing even greater problems in their cases.

Wish you get the required strength to fight out this battle.

***

*Names Changed

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