Every case we hear, every act of cruelty we get to know, every form of misandry that comes to our notice teaches us the MRAs important lessons in life. Recently, a completely different form of cruelty against a male victim of false matrimonial cases came to light. This came from a victim who is not only the victim of his wife and social misandry but is also a victim of a Delhi based Lawyers’ group posing as MRAs. What is shocking is that this lawyer group is not only well known in India but is also known to ‘help’ other victims. With this exposure intention behind their help has come under question.
Lawyer Groups Cheating Male Victims
A victim from a science institute recently wrote to me detailing his ordeal not only in the hands of his wife and misandrist colleagues, but also in the hands of these lawyers who first included him in their groups for giving advice on his cases, and later used this relation against him.
The ‘victim’ was lured into the group by an activist who claimed to have ‘won’ 13 cases filed by his wife, ‘won’ child custody before becoming an advocate. Impressed, he used to refer his name everywhere for fighting false cases and also joined their WhatsApp group that gave case specific assistance to male victims.
This ‘victim’ was already fighting with his wife (who was also a colleague) and other colleagues provoked by the wife. Among his colleagues against him was his wife’s new boyfriend (who was married too), and they got in touch with this lawyer who befriended this ‘victim’ and made him join their WhatsApp group.
The victim was hoping to get some help from ‘experts’, but his wife’s new boyfriend was also in touch with this lawyer group and together they crafted new ways to trap this victim. ‘Victim’s’ opposite party acted new drama almost every day. Once, they first locked him in his office overnight and blamed him for overnight stay in the office. They continued to hurl abuses to him from outside. With this drama, his colleagues wanted to snatch his project credits from him (a highly prestigious project that he submitted by him and that was on hold till then because of these allegations).
Since, they were abusing him and expected abuses back, they also planted recorder in his car, tapped his phone etc. In December last year, a situation was created so that he was taken to his native for one month and was forced to accept leave without pay. Later, he came to know that even his family members knew about all these and they were brainwashed to think of him as guilty. As a result, his family members took him to a physician for treatment.
In his absence, this group has planted recorders everywhere he went, his house including bathrooms, his office cabin and classrooms of his institute where he delivered lectures.
Later this group hacked his laptop, internet dongle and hacked his email and also tried to hack his Facebook account.
Today, he is out of all WhatsApp groups, doesn’t use his laptop and completely devastated that the person he depended the most did the most harm to him. A person in a respectable position lost everything in his life today and don’t know if he will ever get any justice. He feels, it’s only lies that win and needless to say, he can’t trust anyone today including MRAs.
Another group that is recently formed in Kolkata shows their dubious nature from the beginning. It is –
Avijan Chritable and Welfare Trust, Kolkata
This group first came to light on occasion of International Men’s Day (IMD), in 2017. Here, a woman and a man from same group went to an ETV Bangla show on Men’s Day (IMD) or why men’s day was needed. Nandini posed as a feminist and Gourab posed as an MRA saying he has started an organization for ‘Men’s Rights’. Now Feminist Nandini became new ‘expert’ about Men’s Issues and leader of Avijan.
While this discussion may seem to be impressive to some MRAs the basic problems came out from this was they were discussing how men have been raping and oppressing women for ages. Gourab, was seen busy feeling sorry for men raping women on an IMD discussion. To him, gender-neutral laws and punishing law misusers would have been enough for men’s rights. Nandini added to that saying since men have been oppressing women for ages, women are still socially backwards and hence they need more laws to protect them. She was clear that if women also started raping men or started violence on men then we could think of gender neutral laws or a Commission for Men (Men’s Commission was a demand of Gourab).
While demanding men’s commission, and punishment for women law misusers may seem to be logical demands for MRM but it is also important to note that it’s not all that MRAs want. Without any basic knowledge of MRM they started calling them as Men’s Rights group, after which the feminist Nandini became the leader of the group (and not Gourab).
So, a group that has a feminist as a leader and has sidelined a Men’s Rights Activist (self- proclaimed) or a man from first day, shows their extreme bias /callousness about the cause. How can Avijan be even imagined as an MRA group?
Gourab, who is claiming to be an MRA for four years, was expelled by a Kolkata based MRA group within two years for insensitivity towards men’s issues. Even in his dubious tenure he didn’t learn that men’s rights exist because of reasons beyond law misuse and gender biased laws. He also doesn’t have maturity to understand that punishment to women may not be enough (asking a false rape accuser to stand in the court for one hour or asking her to pay a fine of Rs. 500 is only a joke not punishment).
All this needs sincere study about Men’s Rights and discussion with veteran MRAs. Not only that, one needs to actively be involved in counseling male victims to understand and empathize with them. Simply by being a male victim at some point in life, and able to shout out loud can’t make one MRA, certainly not a leader. With his past role in his college as a TMC leader of student union, his new Avijan (Bengali word for journey) seems more of his political aspiration rather than any commitment. In this quest, in the first move itself he is sidelined by a feminist who has her own aspirations in her life as a socialite.
If we look at Nandini Bhattacharya’s life and past, we will see that she is not only a feminist but a noted socialite and a winner of Award for Women Empowerment –
So, a feminist who got an award for raising voice for women empowerment is now playing drama of men’s rights without any knowledge or understanding. Not only that, she is also connected closely with West Bengal Women’s Commission and attend their programs regularly –
So, the question arises, if the demand of this dubious MRA group to form Men’s Commission, is inspired by Women’s Commission who wants to control male victims? A known feminist in Kolkata social circles who had been posting about rape and Sexual Harassment at Workplace on social media promoting men are criminals (creating a hype around rape), why should she be trusted about being an MRA?
She also participated in discussion on “punishments of being a woman”. So, she is one award-winning empowered woman who likes whining about how bad men are and clearly doesn’t have any sympathy for men, forget about having enough passion for men’s rights.
Not only that, she was present on media to cry and celebrate 5-year anniversary of Nirbhaya –
But today she is claiming to be an MRA leader, without any background or knowledge about MRM.
If we remember that sometime ago Maneka Gandhi wanted National Commission for Women to start a new cell and helpline for men. Basically, they wanted to control the way men and male victims think so that they (feminists) can control the gender politics completely. Then the NCW chairman had rejected the plan, but looks like the women’s commission did come to MRM with their surprise Proof of Concept (POC) in Bengal. If this is successful, probably feminists will launch similar FAKE Men’s Rights groups with some young and immature lads like Gourab, who doesn’t understand Men’s Rights nor they have leadership skills (thrown away in first move of formation of Avijan).
Nandini is also leader and a socialite of local Ladies’ Club and organizes such meets not only in media offices but also in her house –
So, now do we want the fate of men to be decided in these Ladies’ clubs and kitty parties, and by divorced women who would have been cruel to their own husbands?
Nandini’s FB profile though says she is married but don’t show photos of her family or her husband. This shows what kind of respect she has for men. A woman who doesn’t respect men in her personal life, how can she claim to have any passion for men’s rights is a BIG question.
Being associated with men’s rights movement in India for several years now, we have already seen how divorced / single women who were cruel to their husbands come to us searching for soulmates. They feel they can win men by their sexuality rather than any meaningful contribution to men’s life and today they are here to control men’s rights.
This group Avijan also claims to provide lawyer services. While we understand that these kitty parties may have some women lawyers who don’t get any clients and heart-broken male victims can easily be lured into this feminine trap, this can only be seen as a business venture and not a men’s rights group.
One problem of male victims associated with such female groups is they can get rape and molestation complaints anytime. Also, our experience says, unless someone is a real victim of gender biased laws and suffered the worst in his life, one doesn’t understand the pains faced by male victims. It is not a kitty party or ladies club function where these males can be counseled or helped. Women lawyers most often inject huge msandry in the minds of the male victims so that they start thinking of themselves as criminals. Women lawyers make these men think that they must ‘pay’ to their wives to get divorce.
A group that is started based on misandry and dubious intentions can’t be doing anything good for men’s rights. Forget about having enough knowledge and empathy on the subject. It looks more like Nandini’s career choice and creating more prominence in her social circles rather than creating any value for men and male victims.
In this news published in Ebela (a Bengali news daily) on 2nd February, 2018 after about three months of their formation, Nandini clarified why they existed. Here Nandini claimed that after their formation on 19th Novemeber, 2017 they have got many victims that they had 50 members (in just three months). It’s well understood how a group can create fake propaganda.
In the above news, Nandini clarified that they are not going to help any man if he is guilty (marked by red line). So, how will they find out if a man is guilty? Will they judge the case and deliver judgement even before any help or will they make him so miserable (as female lawyers normally do to male victims) that he starts thinking of him as guilty? How can an MRA group even talk about judging a man first before helping him? And if they have feminist style of judgement, what will be the plight of men there?
Gourab, the self-proclaimed MRA of the group doesn’t have any knowledge anyways –
Gourab, also wants to fuel the rape hysteria –
Despite calling him an MRA, he wants to add to rape frenzy that always culminate in shaming men and sometimes creating / changing laws against men. He certainly doesn’t have the vision to understand this. But how will a former TMC Student Union Leader know that without any meaningful study or passion for the cause which is farther from making a political career out of it.
This group is also making false claim that their magazine “Purush Kotha” (launched in March 2018, on Women’s Day) is the first Bengali magazine for men, when the reality is, a similar Bengali tabloid already exist in Bengal and it’s name is “Manab Kantha” (Human Voice) published by veteran Men’s Activist Mr. Radhikanath Mallick.
Read an interview with Mr. Radhikanath Mallick – Here
Why Fake MRA Groups Are Dangerous for Men
Fake MRA groups can create more havoc in men’s life compared to fake men’s group. In Marital Rape PIL, one such men’s group FEM who operates out of a Young Woman’s Hostel in Delhi is a party seeking justice for their wives. Surprisingly, this group also doesn’t have any background of working with male victims but they had created a fake profile before being a party to the PIL. That group is funded by UN Women and is now busy in Delhi HC proving how men are raping their wives.
Problem with these fake groups that are all promoted by Women’s Commission or UN Women or different feminists always have anti male agenda. While lawyer groups trade their male clients’ case with opposite party to gain profit, such feminists want to run their feminine agenda under the disguise of men’s rights without caring about male victims at all.
As our experience goes, many such fake women MRAs threatened other male victims of filing false rape / molestation cases against them. Men may initially feel ‘honoured’ to have women talk about them, but these women can always show their true colours and the men can’t even do anything. So, it is always advised that male victims keep safe distance from such feminist groups and female lawyers.
Today, for male victims it is very difficult to trust anyone. These heart-broken men are most susceptible to feminine ploy of providing them ‘help’ while running their own political agenda. It is important that one understands this politics and seek help only from the victims who doesn’t claim to be lawyers or ‘social activists’ or feminists. Because even social activists have bias against men. They can make men feel guilty and force them to pay huge alimony to their wives. You will never see such ‘empowered’ social activists talking against alimony. For them it’s a game of gender politics while for male victims it’s a battle to live with dignity.