Not too long ago, only in 2013 being a man was like being a rapist. Those of us who protested that madness got death threats. We have never thought of reporting those to anyone or anywhere fearing a real backlash from this society. That was the time when the demand of Naming and Shaming the rapists and awarding the accuser (Rs. 2 lakh) came up. For those who remember, then WB CM Ms. Mamta Banerjee commented “this amount will be given after the complaint is found to be true of course”; and created a new debate.
We MRAs protested vehemently in all platforms only to be abused further. That protest had made us almost like rapists and we accepted that and continued our fight. We were concerned about high-level of foolishness prevailing in Indian men that time. Everyone thought every rape was like the one ‘that was projected by media in Delhi rape case’. Many laws/policies have changed.
Today, a significant portion of that crowd understand that anyone can be a rape accused and proving a false rape is also not impossible. Recent Farooqui judgment also told us that if one has a lawyer like Kapil Sibal, and can spend lakhs in a single hearing, one can get justice. In a similar case, with an average lawyer with same arguments would have sent the accused behind the bars for life, if not lynched by a mob.
With innovative concepts of rape coming in, the day is not far when a male masturbation or watching porn will be considered as rape. We also need to be mentally prepared to get ‘imaginary rape’ or ‘online rape’ concepts. Because, if someone can think about it, getting Supreme Court stamp on it is no big deal nowadays. Our constitution experts say ‘inequals can’t be treated equally’ when they explain benefits given to women criminals but the same doesn’t hold good for juvenile boys who are treated as adult rapists today.
A man or a boy can be accused of rape at the drop of a hat and if we believed ‘rape is a rape’ ever and wanted the cruelest form of punishment to those rapists (after Nirbhaya, many have believed in that) it is our turn to be on the other side where the society is ready to lynch us.
I also don’t see any ray of hope in some feminists criticizing the ‘name and shame’ campaign. Even though many of these feminists could have actually created voice for ‘Name and Shame’ in 2013, I do not think that feminists fear names of their own family members or male sympathizers appearing in those lists because they can twist the law according to their need anytime.
Read – Male Feminists Can Die
So, I am not worried about male feminists. They can die. I am worried about ‘law abiding, peace loving’ common Indian man. Who are not feminists but want to respect other humans but are ignorant or simple people who do not understand the criminal minds playing in these equality campaigns. They can’t hire prominent lawyers whose name (or something else plays behind) can change the verdict of a case. I am talking about those IT Engineers, those average middle-class and lower class men who need to justify their existence to their families every day. I am talking about those men, who feel compelled to keep their family and izzat (respect) intact and who really believes that ‘rape is a rape’ and is very cruel criminal assault.
For these people, the feminist demon is brewing in a Delhi HC PIL on Marital Rape. This PIL will tell them that now at the whims of a woman her husband can be called a rapist and his name will appear in the ‘Name and Shame’ list. No matter whether you are geek book lover or a man immersed in spirituality, you are a rapist or a ‘sexual predator’. And for being one, you don’t need to be married either, even one imaginary complaint will do. If a woman feels unsafe in your presence or simply gets attracted to your wealth, you become famous in that ‘name and shame’ list. Who cares?
If you differ and believe that there is someone who really cares and there is a ‘due’ process of justice, you need to understand that in this ‘justice’, only the identity of the accused revealed everywhere. The name of the accuser never appears anywhere. So, no matter whether your case was false, whether it was an elopement or live-in relationship case or whether she was too attracted to your fat purse, it is always a man’s life and dignity that is at stake. As a man, you will lose your job, family, children, property and additionally will be shamed and named so will be thrown out of this society as well.
Read – Will You Recruit A Rapist?
I remember, in 2013 there was also demand from a section of feminists to quarantine these men. Today, I feel that the half of India needs to be quarantined if that ever happens. Even though some feminists have objected to the ‘name and shame’ campaign today, no one can stop a woman from complaining about a man as a rapist. No matter whether he knows her or not. In all such cases (which is increasing in number nowadays) a man who is even ‘accused’ of rape, becomes a ‘rapist’. A case registered against a man (or not) under section 375 of IPC (which will be true for marital rape cases too), makes him feature in the banned list.
But what does one do after that? A man can’t deny the fact that there is a ‘rape’ case registered against him. It is a very shameful situation and can’t be discussed openly. It is the case that was for dowry complaints approximately 10-15 years ago. Talking about having a dowry case against oneself was considered a big crime then. But the situation changed since then, people have become more open and started talking about their false dowry cases. Many women have regretted filing false cases too. ‘Rape’ is today in that dreadful situation.
It does not matter whether you are a male feminist or ordinary peace-loving person; it also does not matter whether you committed the crime or not, if you are a man, you can be accused and also found guilty of rape (unless you can spend money and buy justice). So, what do you do after that? Do you stop living? Get quarantined in your own house or flee your city and be a saint?
In any case, if such false accusations cease your life, that will be the victory of your enemy – the crooked persons behind the allegation. The shame on our gender-based shattered justice system will reflect on you and will engulf your life. And then only one mantra can help you. Be confident about yourself and don’t be shy, share your story with others you meet and tell them you are a rape accused and not every rape accused is a ‘rapist’. But you can’t do this unless you shake off that shame associated with the word ‘rapist’. When you do that, not only you accept other ‘rapists’ in your life but will also act as a change agent for this society. That is the reason you need to be proud of yourself, like many MRAs give a party to others after getting a 498a case. Because only then you can start a change……for good.