Recently Dr. Partha Chattopadhya a professional Bengali writer, psychologist and a professional marriage counselor was in news for his unique and first of its kind effort in India – “Purush”. Purush is the first book written by a professional Indian writer that focus on men’s issues. This invaluable work from journalist-writer Dr. Partha Chattopadhya earned accolades from many as it was a bold attempt to break all stereotypes.
Read a review of his book Purush – Here
Many of his ardent followers however did criticize him for this effort and told him that he had wasted his time doing research on this matter. In a close interview with The Male Factor he regretted that even men who suffered false cases under IPC 498a (or prevention of cruelty against women act or popularly known as Indian dowry act) also criticized his effort and commented that men’s rights (that helps male victims of IPC 498a) as joke. Not only they were ignorant about the fact that MRAs exist, as Dr. Chattopadhya commented some of them felt miserable to go to MRAs for any help.
This observation however clarifies why men’s rights is needed in the country and how MRAs can make a difference in the lives of future generation of men. Men who presently do not even understand the need of men’s rights for ending the social misandry prevailing in most of them are sure to experience a doomsday in future if no one fights for male rights.
I was fortunate to get some time out of his busy schedule for this interview –
Q. What made you write about men and their issues?
When I started writing about gender issues I chose to write about women first. But that was one sided. Journalists should always write about both sides. So I started research on men and their issues.
Q. Tell me more about your previous books, especially the books on depression.
My research showed that women suffer more from depression. The reason is that they think more and their external life is limited. Neurosis is a genetic disorder. I have seen a woman suffering from depression when she tried to satisfy everyone around her but failed in doing so. She didn’t understand that it is human characteristics to criticize others.
Q. How should one fight depression?
Power of being resilient comes from one’s childhood. It needs to be taught to a child at an early age. One needs to understand the psychology of oneself and build one’s own philosophy in order to be resilient to outside influence.
Medication can help to get relief from depression but mental exercise, counseling, reading good books or positive articles and mingling with other people can help immensely. While socialization may be helpful social media addiction is dangerous like addiction of anything else.
To learn more one can read my Bengali series on Depression.
Q. Tell me something about your series on women.
I have written “Nari Bhalo Nei” (women are not well) as I found some men dominate women. They treat women really badly. In fact, I found that in any relation one partner wants to dominate the other. Men dominate and women want to take revenge.
Q. Do you think rape is really increased in India nowadays?
We may feel that rape cases has increased but it is because rape is being focused more nowadays.
Q. What do you think about feminism?
When feminism started it was really needed. Women’s right to vote or the abortion rights. But today feminism has reached an extreme stage. Gender equality is reaching a level of torture for everyone. Homosexuality is made legal but we can’t change nature. People take birth with different abnormalities and homosexuality is one form of abnormality.
Q. What do you think about Men’s Rights?
I don’t think it needs to be separate. It needs to be human rights. Both genders need rights. Feminists don’t believe that genders need different things. Gender biased laws are not acceptable. Laws should not be against nature. Not even one.
Q. What do you think is the perception of men’s rights in India?
People don’t know about this. Nobody known about International Men’s Day (IMD). Many people said IMD is false, many laughed about it. I wrote “Purush” to increase awareness about it.
Q. Why do you think marriages are breaking in India?
It is because of absence of mutual respect. People don’t have mutual respect today. Dignity is absent. Superiority complex is stumbling block in a relation. We are asking equal rights in law but emotional equality is absent. Women think denying sex to husband is empowerment. We consider everything – Money, Family, Status, Reference, Education etc. to finalize a marriage but not mutual respect. Everyone has their own opinion and unless the partners respect each other’s opinion they can’t be happily married.
Q. Do you see any reason for this unnecessary growth of malignant feminism? What are the forces behind this?
Whatever we see today is not feminism. They have not read feminism. Many real feminists don’t support modern feminists. Reason – modern feminists want to be pampered. They might have done good things in past and some of them lead good family life but says diff things to be popular. They have political backing.
Q. In your life as a marriage counselor what kinds of domestic crimes did you see these genders committing more and why?
I found that women commit more adultery compared to men. In terms of domestic violence both men, women are equal. Women commit huge mental torture which is equivalent to physical violence. Mental torture is intolerable. Women provoke men for violence and a lot of women do beat men in domestic relations.
Q. In Indian relationships which gender is more responsible for break ups?
It is difficult to quantify like this. I have seen that both genders are equally responsible for marriage break ups.
Even though I wanted to get more relationship insights from him. Due to his busy schedule he could not afford to spend more time with me and I wish I would be able to meet him again and get his invaluable insights about other relationship aspects.