The viral video of a Delhi cop (Mr. Salim) in Delhi metro “allegedly” in a drunken condition is proved to be otherwise now. He suffered a stroke on that day and was having a blackout. So he was having trouble locating the gate and keeping his balance in the train and he fell down (details here).

This case did not have the police officer arrested but suspended. Social media users have shared it too and slammed drunk cop causing irreparable damage to Mr. Salim’s family. Even Delhi Police have suspended him without proper investigation. Would that have happened to drunk women officers as well?

In this case, we see that a man crying from within for help received flak instead. Delhi police suspending him was another unfortunate incident as police department should have carried proper investigation on the drunken cop matter, rather than acting on emotions. It is also not surprising why the news of his reinstatement in the police force was not even published in mainstream media, that is normal in India nowadays. We don’t see our media to be sensitive enough for cries of men.

I can see a small yet significant male characteristic of trying to be strong and not seeking help from others making the situation worse for Mr. Salim.

I shall explain this with an incident that happened in a BMTC Volvo bus in Bangalore on 28^th March. On that day I was traveling from Kempegowda International Airport, Bangalore to my home by the bus KIA6. This bus started from the airport at 9:30 AM and due to heavy traffic it was moving slowly. Only at times, it picked up speed. This bus was reasonably crowded and there were some passengers standing as well.

At one point in time when it just picked up some speed, the driver had to apply brakes all of a sudden leading to us falling to the front. A woman who was in the middle seat of the last row (nothing to hold) fell down from her seat and immediately started shouting for help and crying. So within seconds, all our attention was towards her.

There was a guy standing beside me (where the lady fell down) in the rare portion of the bus and due to this sudden brakes he flung to the front and fell on heaped luggage in the middle of the bus. But even then all attention was on the lady passenger who no doubt was badly hurt. Within seconds, the guy stood up and came back to the woman to help her while no one asked him if he was hurt. So when the whole attention was on the lady I asked the man if he needed any help or was hurt. I was sure he might be hurt too as he flung to a distance. He shyly and hesitantly replied that he didn’t need any help.

This male behavior of being a protector and not seeking help even when required is leading to many issues men face today. A 2011 survey on Indian masculinity (called IMAGES) reveals that only 11% men would seek help in distress (when sad, disappointed and frustrated) compared to 93% women.

In the Delhi ‘drunk’ cop’s case so he needed help. Instead, he tried to overcome his pain (that everyone else around him was unaware of) all by himself without seeking help even when under a serious medical condition. The internal misandry in us almost always prohibits us from seeing a man crying from within. Coupled with this we almost take our men and women in uniform as granted to save our lives without us civilians being responsible for them at all. In Mr. Salim’s case, the civilians on board the train thought a policeman wouldn’t need any help.

It is said, that even a child knows how to attract attention towards him when needed (and sometimes even when not needed, too). The protector role of men prohibits them from crying when needed. Any drunk woman would have got more sympathy before being criticized. They feel seeking help is a sign of weakness but unless men seek help in time how can anyone help them?

Delhi police have surely made a blunder by suspending Mr. Salim without doing any investigation in this alleged ‘drunk’ cop case. If Mr. Salim had a medical condition but was a dedicated police officer, how could Delhi police ever suspend him -even for one day?

Our politicians and AAPtards have shown their standard in this ‘drunk’ cop case. Our media too have shown their standard by declaring him a drunk police officer without asking his side once. All of these point to the only thing – huge misandry in our society. The nonrecognition of men’s cries. There is another lesson that Indian men need to learn from this, are they need to seek help when needed. Otherwise, we as a society will never be open to the pain and suffering of men easily.

***