What is the secret of successful long lasting marriages? Is there any such formula exist in present day life of instant love and break up?
I have been trying to find out the formula of successful marriages for a few years. I have conducted surveys of successful and unsuccessful love marriages to find out if there is any secret formula that existed. One problem that I have found is that changing nature and expectations from partners very often lead to divorces. I have seen even love marriages breaking in no time and always wondered why this happens.
Shanti Swaroop in his latest work has done my job easier by bringing out the methodology to choose the right companion. His book “How to choose Mr. Right” he has discussed the factors to be considered for choosing the right person. Even though he had made it gender specific and showed men as the culprit of breaking relations in this book, I found that the qualities discussed in the book could be found similar for both the genders. I did the review considering it to be valid for both genders as he has claimed in the beginning of the book.
The book written on the concept of Healthy Marriage devotes first four chapters convincing its readers about the political issue and demanding to the govt. about looking into the issue. I felt this conversation was completely unnecessary. Because one starts reading this book with the expectation of understanding the traits in other person that can help them find their soulmate and not to get into unnecessary political discussion.
The fifth chapter is dedicated to convince the reader that arranged marriage is the seed of disaster and this chapter seems to be heavily influenced by western literature. In India arranged marriages are still most successful and hence I felt this chapter was redundant too.
In sixth chapter he discussed the importance of preparing oneself for marriage. This section is helpful in understanding the critical factors one needs to prepare oneself of before marriage. The references of pre-marriage counselling centers and tips are helpful. However, most of the website URLs shared by the author does not work. Author probably needed to remember that printed material is different from any online material.
Next three chapters respectively on pre-marriage education, counselling and investigation talks about each of these subjects in detail. These chapters give clear understanding to the readers about the process and methods followed before marriage are scientific and has greater possibility of leading to success. The resources shared in these sections are valuable and informative, too.
Chapter 10 discusses the way to find out a liar by their behavior. It discusses several traits found common in liars. The book very well shows the signs of identifying a liar at an early stage. The book discusses the traits exhibited by such persons in details in their day to day habits. I found this chapter to be most informative of all.
Next chapter talks about knowing the childhood of the person. The book discusses how the knowledge of childhood of a person can help us identify the person’s behavior as an adult. This chapter discusses how childhood events and traits can impact one’s character.
The book also talks about knowing the details of the person’s health and communication. But there are some chapters in the book towards the end that I felt are redundant and was not necessary.
Overall, I felt that this book was a good attempt to understand the right person as companion. However, a lot of unnecessary chapters keep one wondering about the intention of those chapters. Also the book is highly misnadric as it is written with an intention to show men as primarily responsible for all divorces, but this book can give one a perspective to understand behavior of a soulmate.
This book published by Healthy Marriage Initiative is priced at Rs. 200.00 in India and USD 30.00 for global audience. 244 pages is on a very higher side for this book or the content covered. The author could aim at keeping the page number lower, may be half of what it currently has. I found the books referred by the author to be good for anyone to keep for a lifetime. However, I could not fathom the need to keep the title as “How To Choose Mr. Right” when it can be used for either gender. Probably the author wanted to cash on the existing misandry in us to sell more copies. I suggest the author changes the title to “How to Choose Your Partner” and make it more appealing to everyone.