Washing dirty linen

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I came to know that survey major A C Nielson has conducted a survey for washing powder brand Ariel that shows some startling statistics about how women are treated unequal at home (this is how it is projected by Ariel). Well, I have only seen the survey results and know no other details about the survey on this laundry and hence I just represent the survey results as is below.

Let’s see the survey findings. There are six in all –

  1. More than 2/3 rd (> 67%) of Indian women feel, there exists inequality at home, between men and women.
  2. 76% Indian men feel laundry is a woman’s job
  3. 85% working Indian women feel they have two jobs, one at work and another at home
  4. 73% married Indian women feel, a man prioritizes relaxing over helping with household chores
  5. More than 2/3rd (> 67%) Indian men prefer to watch TV than to do their laundry
  6. 77% of Indian men depend on Indian women for doing the laundry

(Don’t get confused with the percentages, this is only based on the sample A C Nielson has taken and I do not know about any authenticity. But in this article I will consider them to be true finding by a genuine survey).

Now let’s take each survey finding one at a time and try to understand the truth behind the finding.

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More than 2/3 rd (> 67%) of Indian women feel, there exists inequality at home, between men and women

Women feel unequal at home

So the point is >67% Indian women feel Indian men do not contribute to household chores equally. But I wonder why should Indian men equally contribute to household chores at all? Don’t they have responsibility of going out, earning and acting as provider and protector of the family? Many men in India has to work for sixteen hours a day to make a good earning for the family so that others at home live in peace. Isn’t it asking too much from a man? So even if a man does not contribute to any household work can we really blame him? Then what are women for? What is their contribution in a family? They are not supposed to be the bread earner for the family, they are not legally or otherwise bound to be provider and protector as the responsibility lies with men. When they are already doing their bit, how the expectation of Indian men helping in household chores arise at all? Isn’t it funny or asking too much from a man?

Rather I wonder when in most of our households we have maids working or electrical gadgets doing most of the household work then how the question of women feeling inequality arises. Who pays for all these gadgets to do the household work? Who pays for the maid? Do the women pay or the men? If men pay for these amenities then why should they again do work at home just to make women feel comfortable or equal?

I feel this survey question result should have been the reverse. Yes, there is inequality exists at Indian homes, because, Indian women are not made accountable and responsible for all household work yet. Simply because some women take up the responsibility of household work, it doesn’t become their responsibility and that does not mean every woman is duty bound to do the household chores. We have many examples in our society where women do not do any household chores and expect their husbands to do everything while they enjoy with their money. Such women can’t be punished in any manner. In fact asking women to do household work can be considered as domestic violence and make the husband lose his own house. In fact, a overwhelming majority of men should have felt that there is no equality at home, because no matter how women behave, the husband loses his own hard earned house to his wife (and now his ancestral property under IRBM).

76% Indian men feel laundry is a woman’s job

Laundry women's job

So? Similarly almost 100% Indian men and women too (barring a few men like MGTOWs) feel being provider and protector is a man’s job. I am not sure how will this feeling make any difference? Do Indian women wash clothes by their hand nowadays? Most of the households have washing machines and women use machine to wash clothes. So what’s the big deal? It is actually the machine that does the laundry work and not women, not the modern urban women at least. Moreover, all of us need to have some job right? We are not here for free lunch. Even our constitution talks about duties of citizens apart from their rights. Did Ariel researchers forget that? What is the responsibility of women in their families then, someone please clarify.

85% working Indian women feel they have two jobs, one at work and another at home

Women having two jobs

Oh that is a BIG number. But how many of them really DO the laundry job? Or they only outsource the work to a maid or a machine? Why are cooks and maids in so high demand nowadays and why maids occupy most of the discussions of married women?

The argument can be that these working women coordinate maid’s job, they oversee what these maids are doing so the household runs smoothly. Well I will argue that in many households even men do that and we still don’t know the percentage of men doing that.

Coming to women’s feeling of having two jobs, one being at workplace. Just check the average hours spent by women in workplaces and you will know who really need to slog for hours to be breadwinner for the family. It is undoubtedly the men who do most of the work at workplaces and women under different pretexts are given easy / flexible working hours, work from home, more leaves etc to manage their home and workplace. Also if we see the percentage of women taking part in workforce vis-a-vis percentage of men, we will know this so called 85% women is actually a miniscule number.

73% married Indian women feel, a man prioritizes relaxing over helping with household chores

Man relaxingSo what the man is supposed to do after 8-16 long and stressful hours of work. Do we expect them work even at home? Those who feel this is man’s privilege actually forget the hard work these men put in to get the home running. They are beaten up, hated, face cutthroat competition, boss’ abuses, colleague’s backstabbing and society’s red eye every time to earn a respectful living for the whole family. Women enjoy the fruits of men’s sacrifice in the outside world by living in a peaceful homely atmosphere, in a non competitive environment where there is no tension of quality check of the household work, where there is no tension of competition, where there are lot of rights earned simply because of marriage and where there is no tension of losing one’s job, are women at all in disadvantage for doing household chores? This shows us that such surveys are intentionally done to enslave men in a kind of bondage where there is no responsibility defined for women and only the men are burdened with more and more expectations everyday.

More than 2/3rd (> 67%) Indian men prefer to watch TV than to do their laundry

Man watching TVAgain, I don’t know the truth and I don’t care about it. Even if men are watching TV than doing their laundry that is because he needs relaxations after a hard days work. He should not be expected to do everything at home. A family is shared responsibility and if men are expected to earn and be providers, women are expected to own up the caregiver role. If she fails it is her failure and not that man’s. Also when the man provides for the expenses of maid, washing machine, laundry detergent to enable women, then it is women’s responsibility to do these jobs. If any woman feel unequal because of doing some work at household, they should not get married in first place. Also these confusions occur because Indian women today do NOT have any responsibility defined. These needed to be defined before anything else.

Question is what happens when a woman works in corporate world (yes, I am talking about those 19% or so urban Indian women who work in corporate sector) and is still forced to do household chores. In my opinion, in these cases a man should share the work. But her working and earning do not make her contribute to the family. I know many women who earn but never contribute to her own family. Asking such women to contribute to the family may attract dowry or domestic violence complaint. This once again proves how much hollow and one sided such survey findings are.

77% of Indian men depend on Indian women for doing the laundry

Women do laundryAgain a very poor finding. This happens because 100% Indian women depend on men for their maintenance within marriage and even outside. Did you say that not every woman seek maintenance? Sorry I forgot that happens too. But when we compare the percentages of men and women seeking alimony on divorce we know this is almost 100%, well ALMOST, but that is definitely more than 77%.

I feel rather than doing such time wasting surveys, brands like Ariel should better do survey on their on product and improvement of its quality. Everyone of us has some responsibility to own up. Even when a woman is our President or Prime Minister she is expected to SERVE the nation and not enjoy free meal. Such surveys and publishing and discussing these results will only increase gender inequality and create unnecessary hatred based on gender. I am surprised that brands are paying money for that. This is nothing but a propaganda to break our families and implant a sense of greater inequality in the minds of women so that they break away their families. Such surveys in a way will create more disturbances in India and it will never empower anyone.

What our families do in their homes is better left to them. Brands unnecessarily trying to cash on some opportunity for earning some quick bucks is shameful. Bloggers writing about such campaigns showing that women are discriminated against in their own families will only lead to breaking up families of their own and probably their own children. Because we all need to remember that –

RIGHTS ALWAYS COMES WITH RESPONSIBILITIES

To Indian women

If you feel taking household responsibilities is oppression, if you think this as inequality then please do not get married ever. Be single and do ALL your work yourself, you will know what real hardship and oppression is.

Read – Indian women have NO responsibility in their families

To the brands doing such surveys

Don’t expose yourself to the wrath of peace loving Indian people and create such hatred. If you don’t own up any responsibility, then don’t but you can not provoke others to do the same for your benefit.

To bloggers writing on this

Hope you have realized the dangers of such campaigns. Now don’t be surprised if you see disturbance in your own family tomorrow because you have supported any such campaign for a mere 1000 rupees.

To my readers

This is a part of a bloggers campaign where male bloggers are not eligible to take part. By writing a blogpost in a negative way and by not supporting the brand’s campaign I would have lost the opportunity of earning Rs. 1000 anyway. This post is to show how gender bias is created in our society through blogging campaigns and I am very happy writing this because I have probably created 1000 more sparks for true gender equality and NOT fake business motivated sense of equality.

***

* Disclaimer – Images are not mine. These are all taken from Ariel campaign page. All image source

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44 comments

    • Today nothing sells in India without a tag of women empowerment, that is how the brands are creating gender bias every day for their own benefit. Yes, marriage is oppression for both sexes. So only those who are ready for oppression should get married, others can stay single ..

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  1. Actually it has become a fashion statement to conduct a survey on household and show women as the sufferers ( receiving end of gender bias/domestic violence/ discrimination at work). However how credible are these survey and do these surveys really represent India as a whole.
    I have come across another survey by UN where they surveyed just 10k people and concluded that 50% of India men want women to suffer from domestic violence (http://www.dnaindia.com/money/report-50-indian-men-feel-violence-against-women-endemic-to-happy-family-2034020)

    We need to blast such companies (Ariel,AC Nielsen) for such surveys.

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  2. Its a great post! An eye-opener about how these brands are creating gender bias for their own convenience. As a woman I don’t mind taking care of the laundry if my husband is working hard all day long to pay the bills. Yes, if both the man and woman are doing jobs, there can be a way out and division of household responsibilities. Either ways I think it should not be made a topic of general discussion but should be left on the couple to decide!

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  3. Great post! An eye opener on how these brands are creating gender bias for their own convenience. As a woman I don’t mind taking care of the laundry while my husband works hard all day to pay the bills. Even if a woman and man both do jobs, there can be a mutual understanding and division of household responsibilities between the two. Either ways this shouldn’t be a topic of general discussion but a matter of personal choice made by any couple!

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  4. Men should never buy products that promote Misandry and disharmony in family. It’s like paying for your own death. Most of these brands and products run on the hard earned money of men. But what men get in return? these back stabbing surveys and propaganda against them!

    So men should better start being assertive and not contribute a single penny to turnover of such companies. Moreover people should also know that Ariel belongs to Proctor & Gamble group so Men should stop buying products from this group and other group that promote misandry http://lifenstory.com/men_wont_buy_misandry

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  5. Y companies play such mind games to sell products in name of Women Empowerment. A survey done on few unrealistic people on idiotic topics takes cares of all the valid rights and demands of all those for whom Equality matters. It name of Women Empowerment, rob Men and their families basic Right to Live Peacefully. A Man is supposed to slog like donkey outside the house, cant even tell wife to do things at home as it can b termed as Domestic Violence. Women working in their own household is DV then what abt our very own mothers, sisters, bhabhis, grannies, aunts and so ultimately its Men n his family will have to suffer coz selling Products and giving Rights to Ruin others lives are far more Important then anything else.

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  6. This is an honest blog. About this part : “Question is what happens when a woman works in corporate world and is still forced to do household chores. In my opinion, in these cases a man should share the work. But her working and earning do not make her contribute to the family. I know many women who earn but never contribute to her own family. ” You have not spoken about the case if the man’s business is going bad and he asks his wife to earn and contribute. A self employed man has the freedom to share responsibilities. You say , he should share the work. If he does not share the work and uses passive aggressive actions to not do the work ( do things incorrectly, be “forgetful”, etc), then what course of action would you ask the woman to take? One theory doing rounds is , if the man is not bringing in the money and the woman is, and hiring a maid is out of the question, then the woman should not do the chore! Would you agree? another situation you haven’t thought about if when the baby comes in and the woman goes back to work. In many countries where Indians live, its unaffordable to fly over family, hire nannies or maids, but your thinking of loading a machine and getting maids and machines to do the work and thereby that not being work somehow does not qualify. It takes one to do it to understand. A breastfeeding mom for example, with sleep deprivation, and working needs the support of her Indian husband, who does not understand what his wife is going through because he has never been sensitized to it. He only knows support = maid or washing machine but to run a house, its a lot more work, would you agree or not?? Your theory of “Be single and do ALL your work yourself, you will know what real hardship and oppression is.” applies to men also, but unfortunately, a man cannot get pregnant, so how is expected to know? Should he not be kinder and show more empathy? While each situation is different and that surveys should not sow seeds of hatred on the basis of gender inequity, changing times need changing mindsets too. Whether man or woman, one has to be empathetic to another’s situation and if woman are being asked to understand the man’s stress at work, men have an equal responsibility to understand a woman/ esp mother’s stress at work. Half the problems happen after the baby is born. Why? because workload triples and division of the work at home in the transition from joint to nuclear families is a very real socioeconomic problem.

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    • And marketing departments of MNCs are capitalizing on the sense of despair that this socioeconomic problem is creating in modern couples and trying to make money from “feminism”. If you do not want feminism marketed this way, find a way to solve the real problem. Get the govt to open well run daycare centres. Increase laundry services, create food inspections which ensure Singapore level cleanliness in restaurants so that people do not fall sick eating outside food. improve road and transport infrastructure so that people reach home quickly and aren’t stressed out with traffic. Generally : improve the quality of life of the average citizen. And citizens in turn have to help the govt with this mission. All this is very much possible, if corruption is zero.

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      • You have suggested all costlier options when laundry is not a problem at all. Day care centre – yes, a lot and quality ones required. All other suggestions to increase the quality of life is possible when people are literate and number is less. India’s problem is there are so many people that the quality of life is bound to come down. And yes corruption is another issue..

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    • Men not earning much, still not contributing in household work – Still he needs to be the breadwinner, else wife can file cases and take control of all his property. He does not have that option in any case.

      Mom with baby or pregnant woman cases – In all such cases the woman is given more rest, her in laws take care of her and in most cases she goes to her father’s house under care of her mother. So your arguments does not apply.

      Wife get job, flying with nanny…oops too less chance. Happens at times and I did that in my life. The nanny traveled in flight with us.

      “Be single and you will know what hardship is” – Yes, applies to men as well, but we still manage and DO NOT crib about our work. In This campaign women are cribbing about the work they do. That is the difference.

      Empathy for each other – Yes needed in relations. But even when a man does all these, why is he accused in false DV case or dowry harassment case? Where is the guarantee that the woman will not file these cases inspite of the man doing all these?? Will the woman be punished for such action?

      All the households I know, where they have a baby worth taking care of, have maids or family members for household work. Yes, with a baby the work tripples, I never denied that the husband should not take care of some household work. They should see their wife’s comfort as well, as in any marriage both sexes need to share, and that is not hampering anyone’s rights. But in all such cases women rights groups claim they are oppressed, Men never crib..

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      • Not true in all cases this : “Mom with baby or pregnant woman cases – In all such cases the woman is given more rest, her in laws take care of her and in most cases she goes to her father’s house under care of her mother. So your arguments does not apply.” hence my argument applies. When will men stop depending on old traditions like Inlaws taking care which are fast disappearing. Open your eyes!!! Have known women expecting triplets who was made to go to work till five days before delivery. A woman with triplets gains about twenty five kilos! And both man and woman were indian! Nobody helped. She did not file dv case because she won’t lie. Husband had no empathy! You haven’t answered the question parthasadhukan. What course of action would you suggest to the woman? She has no nanny, no Inlaws, no parents. Suggest course of action, do not turn a blind eye to a real situation. Else, an honest blog turns hypocritical.

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        • and you are talking of a rarest of rare situation, based on this one sided view why should I give you any reply? Don’t you think you need to understand both side of the story before commenting or making a judgement?

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      • Not so sure if that situation is rare. Agreed both sides of the situ needs to be known. But such situations are not rarest of the rare. Arent you denying the existence of all possibilities? First you say, don’t generalize and when a commenter does not generalize and indeed pinpoints to a particular situation, your reply lacks conviction. While your intentions for this blog is great, this is the missing link in your thought process. Think about it!

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  7. for a man or a woman to know exactly how much work a house with kids needs, they have to start doing household and domestic chores from childhood. By helping out at home. Dependance on maids only leads to a classist society which is inequity to begin with. Why then, wont the inequity pervade all over? Inequity always results in a revolution. People revolt against inequity. In whatever form. Inequity can be exploitation of women, inequity can be misuse of law. Inequity amongst classes leads the way to inequity amongst genders, society, countries, etc.

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    • Yes, when everything is considered as inequality ONLY for women, they will be unhappy. They need to be open for life and need to understand that they too have some responsibility and should be punished equally if they don’t take responsibility. Today, we don’t have punishment for such women.

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  8. Your blog talks about inequality for MEN does it not? That the justice system is being unjust to men. So you yourself are are doing what’s called double speak. Sorry, totally disagree that only women speak of inequality. If loading a machine is not work becauase the the machine does the work, what is stopping a man from loading the machine? My verdict on your very , extremely judgemental reply : your blog is not honest. It’s hypocritiacal. Before asking women to take responsibility, lead with example. Years of oppression has only resulted in women following the man’s lead and turning hypocritical themselves and resorting to lies and filling false DVs. Correct the source of the problem not the symptom. And that will happen when all men say, yes, loading machines sucks big time but if I dirty the clothes I wash it. If I eat, I will cook. Period.

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    • lol..years of oppression, that imagination that historically someone else might have (or might not have) faced but all men in future need to be blamed. wow what a logic?

      Also today many men are doing this, so what is the problem? Can’t women say the same I am getting all benefits so I will earn? How many of them earn today and contribute to family. When dowry is considered as crime why is alimony a right? You are instead a hypocrite..

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      • Male ego at work. As long as I paid compliments and called you honest, all was well. My tone didn’t change, only opinion and your tone has turned aggressive. Shame.

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      • See how the human mind works. Never, anywhere, have I denied women tell lies. And you are accusing me of saying that I wrote alimony is right! I NEVER brought up the issue of alimony AT all.. Read my comments again, please! And no reply from you on why men can’t load the machine when you yourself feel it is not work????? That was the point on hypocrisy.

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      • Men of the future do not want to bear the karma of their ancestors who oppressed women, a well documented historical fact, but grown up divorced men still want Moms to cook for them and do their laundry for them. In the one off situation where the man does indeed help out his earning wife who brings home the bread, he calls himself a sacrificial father. Are you aware of this pattern or do you think all indian men single handedly run their homes with no maid, no parents? Men, divorced , in other parts of th world do work and do all the work at home themselves. They don’t depend on maids or moms like divorced indian men do!! So Indian men follow OLD traditions on depending on Mom to cook for them, under the garb of providing care for them in old age. I wonder why divorced indian men don’t depend on their widowed fathers ? Most single old widowed fathers are in old age homes.

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        • Lol we are part of a national group of divorced Indian men who do all their work themselves as they mostly live alone. I can’t stop laughing seeing your ignorance. Your comment is completely baseless. I live alone and I do ALL my work myself, so are my friends. We never feel that we are unhappy.

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    • Right, so this blog is based on the experiences of a very tiny sample called national group of divorced Indian men. Now some of the unusual reactions make a tiny bit of sense. The comments come from a place where a group of hurt egos have huddled together. Those who are falsely accused cannot afford to have bruised egos. And you, on their behalf, call the opinion of others “baseless” when the ” basis” of YOUR experiences is tiny in the grand scheme of things. This comments thread is filled with contradicting insinuations. The more your read it, all that comes across is confusion! And an almost helpless situation that you certainly seem to be in. Hope your efforts bear fruit, but without open-mindedness and an out of the box approach, your efforts may remain cocooned. Good luck! Otherwise you just come across as barking dogs who cannot bite because bruised egos are like those collars they around dogs so that they cannot bite.

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  9. Costlier options!!! Are u kidding me?? World’s third highest GDP! Stay without expectations and continue living with fair and just thinking. You need to personally pay electricity bills and taxes in one of the following countries for Atleast four years to even understand my suggestiona. If you get a chance, seriously do so : Australia, countries of Eastern or western europe, Russia, Japan, U.S.

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  10. Do you know why women are rising up? It is not only because they are becoming financially independant. It is because the Internet revolution has put smartphones in every human’s hand. The so called poor’ too, regardless of male and female. And that is causing indian men to be COMPARED to men in other societies. Once upon a time, all men thought alike, but in some societies, the change in mindset did not happen. In the west too, the chnage hasn’t taken place totally. Women still argue about having to do two jobs, work at office and come home to laundry work, but the number of men who help out at home .

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  11. York figure that out, the indian Man has to move out of his comfort zone, and go and see for himself. No amount of people telling him anything will help. It is the exact same logic you speak of. Unless a man experiences the lies he is accused of by his wife, he won’t believe that all women are not saints. Same logic, unless men work and do housework, they won’t realize just how much work a woman has to do. In theory, you say a man should help out if his wife contributes money into the household, but in practice, theory of relativity kicks in when man thinks that putting a slice bread in a toaster means making an entire meal. The woman tries telling the man, hey listen , you need to help me more, he just acts passive aggressive. Do you know that most indian men suffer from passive aggression? Look it up. Men themselves in india, are victims of patriarchy. They are mostly passive aggressive and this is the cause for women resorting to false accusations.

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  12. Finally, coz I gtg and take care of this grand family , as regards the fact that lying women aren’t punished in india, this happens in India. Women outside india are punished. The lying women in India aren’t punished because of lack of enforcement. Lack of enforcement happens in India in every breath you take there. On the roads, in offices, while paying electricity bills, while praying, everywhere. Enforcement happens when corruption reduces. Corruption has seeped into every pore. Till corruptions disappears, enforcement won’t happen.

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  13. And oh, I have sons and daughters. Not only am I a protective mother who fears that my daughters will get raped by men, I am equally scared my sons will be falsely accused of rape/Dv by women. Nothing can allow a fairer thinking than a parent’s concern for all kids. Love, and undiluted love is the answer to most problems. It is hate which creates division, inequality and injustice.

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    • Make divorce so easy that if either spouse is unhappy ,divorce is readily granted.Nobody should never be forced to stay if one of them is unhappy with the other.Equality before law and punishment for law misuse is mandatory.This blog is also about unnecessary illogical one sided laws where only the man is punished but not woman if she does the same.

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  14. Not not group of bruised egos. Group of bruised egos who are very tight fisted and seem to feel that alimony, which is MONEY is dearer to them. Why is everything about money? This applies to both men and women. All the feminism and male rights activism is happening only around the issue of dowry and alimony? Both are related to money. India is going to the cleaners. To thee dogs. Complete downward spiral. Look at the west to know that money does not buy you happiness. Men are tightfisted. Woman gets fed up. Files false case. Asks for alimony . Man remains tight fisted. Man is more upset about losing money than losing wife. Wife wants money instead of the company of her spouse. All values totally driven around money. India was better off when poorer and fatalistic. People smiled more then. Has liberalizTion ruined it for us? Was Gandhi right in not wanting industrialisation and sticking to the charkha? Was Nehru wrong with the building of dams and industries. This is terrible symbol of what’s happening in young India. And the youth themselves are to blame for this blind aspiration.

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