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PART 1 – The Scent of Sex
[In a bid to understand the sexual behaviour of human beings and the effect of body odor of our partners to our sexual behavior this post looks into ancient teachings of Vatsayana and the modern relationship experts’ views on the subject. This is an effort to bring improvement in the relationship among the couples. This series will eventually try to find answers to different sexual behaviors of both the genders, bust a few myths around human sexuality and will try to find out a legitimate definition of rape with its sexual and legal boundaries]
There are many recent reports that Indian couples are not having a good sexual relationship and hence relations breaking away. Unlike the common belief, we find that Indian men are most affected by this relationship turmoil as they are both legally and emotionally robbed off in any relationship turmoil and commit suicide. Indian men who are in a live-in relation run the risk of getting rape cases while those in a marital relationship too can get all cases including marital rape. In this situation, only men who are having a relationship with others’ wives seem to have the best life, as they are having a cool sex life with no risk of being jailed easily. While researchers say that human beings are polygamous by nature Kama Sutra explains the concept of lovemaking in a unique way and also explains the reason relationships fall apart. Vatsayana says – “it is the human nature to experience something different and get rid of monotony”.
‘Kama’ is defined by Vatsayana as “the enjoyment of appropriate objects by the five senses of hearing, feeling, seeing, tasting and smelling”. So it is important for couples to remember that to experience the real pleasure of kama one needs to have a good combination of all five senses assisted by the mind together with the soul. Hence we know that achieving orgasm by either the man or the woman is not possible without a good combination of all these including the mind and the soul. This is one big message to the rapists (the one who commits rape by forceful intercourse with unknown women/men and not for those who are falsely accused of revenge) that no rape can bring any amount of sexual pleasure.
Two years after the publication of Kama Sutra Author Kalyana Malla published another book titled Ananga Ranga in 1172 AD where he stated that “main reason of separation between married couples is the want of varied pleasure and the monotony which follows possession”.
In order to have a great sexual relationship, Kama Sutra talks about preparing the ambience and the partner for the ultimate sexual pleasure. Modern western writers such as Anne Hooper has detailed out preparing the partner in different ways such as giving a good massage, bathing together or preparing the ambience was given importance.
Kama Sutra explains the setting up of the ambience of the pleasure room in this way – “In the pleasure room decorated with flowers and fragrant and perfumes….”. Kama Sutra also details out the end of a sexual congress as “At the end of Congress, the lovers with modesty and not looking at each other should go to the washroom. …..the citizen should apply some pure sandalwood ointment or ointment of some other kind.”
Writer Anne Hooper in her own Kama Sutra book stated the importance of creating the correct atmosphere in the lovemaking room. She says – “First, in cold weather make sure the room is warm enough, and that in hot weather it is refreshingly cool”. All this is to nullify the embarrassing effect of a partner’s body odour affecting the sexual union. Also, she has refuted the notion that taking a lavish meal before the union or consuming alcohol before the act may be detrimental as she writes – “Lovemaking is usually best on a satisfied but not overfull stomach and certainly with a clear head”.
She has described that it is important for the partners to be sensitive to the scent he or she uses. It is not only to be liked by the person wearing the same but at the same time, it needs to be acceptable to the partner as well.
Vatsyayana says that the room should be “Balmy with rich perfumes”..it also goes on adding that “a sort of a stool on which should be placed the fragrant ointments for the night, as well as flowers, pots containing collyrium and other fragrant substances, things used for perfuming the mouth and the bark of the common citron tree”.
If you notice that Vatsayana has stated about the not only importance of using proper perfume for the body but he also spoke about perfuming the mouth. Modern sex experts say that it is very important to have impeccable oral hygiene in order to perform oral sex or kissing embrace.
Anne also detailed out on the importance of using light scented bath oil to perfume and soften one’s skin before lovemaking. A shower with a bath with a scented shower gel is what she recommends.
Kama Sutra has detailed instruction about the bodily hygiene of lovers. As it explains – “He should bathe daily, anoint his body with oil every other day, apply a leathering substance to his body every three days, get his body including his face shaved every four days and other parts of his body every five to ten days. All the things should be done without fail, and the sweat of the armpits should also be removed”.
The importance of personal hygiene for successful lovemaking is felt even in ancient India by ancient sexual researchers like Vatsayana. Modern writers like Anne Hooper only added to that by their own experience and access to better scientific knowledge.
The closest encounter one can have with anyone is with one’s sexual partner. And it is very important to follow impeccable health and hygiene standards to have that awesome and heavenly experience. Thus it is important for anyone to possess the charm and kill the body odour by the ways expressed by the sexual experts like Vatsayana or Anne Hooper.
(Part II – Of Sex, Rape)…
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This has some useful advice for sexual preparations. But it seems like the advice for keeping the body ready was only for Men! Men shouldn’t have to feel like they have to do more than a woman to prepare. In fact I often find that as a woman there are more things I need to do to prepare myself and my body.