Image Courtesy – Joydeep Bakshi
Recently in one of the MRM events Mothers-in-law (MILs) and Sisters-in-law (SILs) demanded their rights and shown their side of the story to national media.
This event organized at Press Club, Kolkata got immediate success and became headline quickly. Social media was quick to catch the fire and spread the same in no time.
As a Men’s Rights Activist myself I am supposed to be happy if the cause for which I am fighting all odds today is highlighted in any manner. However, I am not.
MRM groups all over India need to remember one thing all the time that cruelty / legal terrorism against men is not justified at any point in time. Even though I don’t disagree that similar cruelty against MILs and SILs is also not justified and to show that to media can be another way to showcase the common cause but every time we highlight cruelty against MILs and SILs from any of the MRM forums we show a cause to the others that these laws are bad because of the suffering of some women. We don’t really portray that these laws are bad because they stereotype men in the society.
I would like to ask one simple question to the organizers of such events. If women in our families are not affected by these laws will that be fine? Suppose from tomorrow a ruling is implemented that no MIL or SIL can be arrested / punished under 498a and only the husband will be punished if at all is that fine?
I am sure all MRAs will concurrently say that it is not fine. Then why is this highlight of cruelty against mothers and sisters from a MRM forum? Aren’t we diluting the subject of cruelty against men under these biased laws by trying to take shelter under the women in our families? What happens to those men who do not have any women in his family? Or what happens when the law does not particularly affect any woman? Will that be fine with us?
Even though I am all in favour of highlighting our cause any possible manner but one thing all MRM groups need to remember that this cause of sufferings of MILs and SILs can be an allied cause and can be organized under the banner of an organisation supporting causes for mothers and sisters but NOT under the banner of a MRM group. This type of events can also be organized in an event where a MRM group is a co-organizer of the event and not the sole organizer of the same.
Another point of shock from the event was when the event was supposed to talk about cruelty against MEN and their families it showed all women on dias and conveniently ignored the main component of the cause – MEN.
All MRM groups and all MRAs need to necessarily remember that it is important to know what we are trying to say and HOW we are trying to say that. There is no harm in highlighting the cause of mothers and sisters of ours but for that we should have at least one such group as the co-organizer of the event e.g. either All Indian Forgotten Women’s Association or All India Mother-in-law protection Forum.
MRAs please note, that we as men do not need approval from any woman if we demand our rights. It does not matter whether our mothers or sisters are subjected to cruelty to or not. What matters whether legal terrorism is affecting men or NOT. As MRM we need to focus on that and nothing else.