Here are the unspoken realities of domestic violence you need to know but no one talks about

Domestic violence against menDid the title shock you? Do you think domestic abuse against men is non existing?

Let me confess that until sometime ago even I would have thought like you unless I read Indian Domestic Violence Act, 2005 myself. So before you form any opinion or believe me, please read the DV ACT yourself to understand this.

To analyze this further, we need to first understand what constitutes domestic violence. If I ask you the definition of Domestic Abuse probably you will say it is beating / physical violence on someone else. However, when you read this act you will know that this is a combination of different forms of violence. Under this law, the “aggrieved person” is defined as “any woman who is…”and it does not include men. So this law says only women can be victims of domestic violence and hence we don’t see any cases of DV on men being reported.

Many of you may think this as true as you may think that men are physically stronger and hence protecting women is more justified. So now I will take you through the legal definition of domestic violence so that you know that any two people living together in a domestic situation is liable to experience any one or more of these forms of violence.

Domestic violence is defined under four broad categories as follows –

  1. Physical Abuse
  2. Sexual Abuse
  3. Verbal and Emotional Abuse and
  4. Economic Abuse

I am sure most of you might not have known about last three abuses being a part of domestic violence. Now let me elaborate each one through the legal definition –

Physical Abuse

In this ACT, physical abuse means – causing bodily harm, danger to life, limb or health or development of the aggrieved person. This includes assault, criminal intimidation and criminal force.

Many of you may think that normally men are more violent and women are NOT and hence the definition of aggrieved person as ‘woman’ is right. Do you really think women are not violent? Can’t they express themselves? Didn’t you see those fights on streets? If you think that percentage will be nominal and negligible even without any data to support you, I will not agree with you but still move on as domestic abuse has much wider perspective to it. But remember when we say only a negligible number of men suffer physical violence without even giving men a chance to file a case under DV ACT to understand how negligible that percentage is,  actually not fair.

Sexual Abuse

The definition of sexual abuse too says – “conduct of a sexual nature that abuses, humiliates, degrades or otherwise violates the dignity of a woman”. This definition clearly denies justice to men and indirectly says that abuse, humiliation or violation of dignity cannot happen to a man. Shocking enough!

If you think this violence too can’t happen against men, then think whether a woman can ever deny having sex with his husband? Think if any woman can ever abuse her husband either for over demanding sex or not satisfying her with enough sex? If you think any of the above two situations is possible in a married life, then you need to agree that sexual abuse against men is also a reality. Unfortunately, under the definition of this law, it is not a crime if committed by a woman. So if there is a mismatch in sexual drives between the man and the woman the man becomes either a rapist or impotent. In this way we only ignore this form of domestic violence against men.

Verbal and Emotional Abuse

This definition includes – “Insult, ridicule, humiliation, name calling or specially insult for not having a child” or “repeated threat to cause physical pain to any person to whom the aggrieved person is related”.

Now think about this. Do you think women can’t insult, ridicule or humiliate others? If you are a man didn’t your wife ever in your married life ridiculed you? Didn’t she ever insult you for a bad sex, or for bad breath or for being out with friends or may be for being too close to your mother? If you can think of any situation where as a man even once your wife has insulted, ridiculed, humiliated you then you were subjected to domestic violence by your wife.

If you think all of these is just a part of our daily life and knowingly or unknowingly we all do it, sometimes to pull other person’s leg or may be just for some good laughs and if you think without some of these light-hearted banters we can’t even think of our lives, you need to understand all these can actually be termed as spousal abuse against a man by a woman.

Let’s consider the second part of this emotional abuse – ‘repeated threat to cause physical pain to any person in whom the aggrieved person is interested’. Well, did your wife ever beat your children? Did she ever throw utensils at you or any of your family members or did she ever threaten to kill herself? Many wives give suicide threat to their husbands very often just to intimidate them. It may so happen that over a period of your domestic relation this threat might have come many times and always you thought it was your problem. Actually it was domestic violence against men (or the husband) by the wife.

Economic Abuse

The definition of economic abuse under this law is – “deprivation of all or any economic or financial resource to which the aggrieved person is entitled under any law or custom”. So if the husband earns money and doesn’t pay wife that is domestic violence. However, if the wife earns and does not pay the husband that is not because, women do not have the responsibility to contribute financially to the family. In fact, women have no defined responsibility in their family today

Read – Indian women have NO responsibility in their families

So you understand that if your wife is working and is not contributing to the family under a fair legal system that would have been considered as domestic violence against a man.

Now let’s consider another scenario. How many times did your wife go on shopping and ended up spending extra money to buy unnecessary stuff. Do you understand that it was domestic violence by the wife against the husband? This is the money that the husband has earned so has full right over it, but was denied use of it because the wife has spent it. Under this definition, this act by the wife should also be called domestic violence against the husband. However, since only a woman can be aggrieved in this law, husband is NOT considered as a victim even when his own money is misappropriated.

Definition of economic abuse continues as “disposal of household effects, any alienation of assets …in which the aggrieved person has an interest….” Here it is considered that wife has interest in husband’s ancestral property or other movable or immovable property but the husband has no interest in wife’s property as the definition of ‘aggrieved party’ itself is a woman.  Also any interest shown on wife’s property by the husband is considered as dowry whether the opposite is considered as a woman’s rights.

So if your wife has disposed off any of her valuables (say ornaments) without telling you or alienated you from her assets (e.g. her parental property and given the property to her brothers instead), that would have also considered as domestic violence against you (husband) if we had a fair definition of the law.

The third part of this definition says “prohibition or restriction to continued access to resources or facilities which the aggrieved person is entitled to use or enjoy by virtue of the domestic relationship…” Consider this – Did your wife has ever made you sleep outside your bedroom or asked you to watch that boring Saas Bahu serial instead of your Cricket match or share market news on TV? I am sure the answer to this question by a overwhelming majority of men would be in affirmative. What these men would not understand that their wives had simply prohibited their access to shared resources. It was actually domestic violence against men.

We understand that it is not only the women but almost every man in India is subjected to spousal abuse of different forms. There is urgent need to consider this crime as gender neutral because if we consider women as human beings, we also need to consider that they can be abusive, torturer and extremely cruel, too.

If you think this article was a useful read for you, please share this with others and spread this knowledge. You may also want to check my other articles as all of them are equally interesting.

Remember, YOU

You

are solely responsible for your future

***

Related Articles

1. Indian women have no responsibility in their families

2. How UN Created a wrong picture of Domestic Violence in India

3. Domestic Violence in India

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125 comments

  1. Mr. Ex-feminist,

    That isn’t my blog. It belongs to the much-revered Indianhomemaker.
    I think you have been brainwashed into accepting men’s rights alone as human rights.

    I think you are intimidated by the briiliant comments and arguments posed at that blog.
    Take a look around in the archives and see for yourself.

    If you and your supporters have anything worthwhile to say in your defence, you can have your say, else keep quiet.

    Like

  2. You talk about your responsibilities. The truth is that many Indian men are spineless, greedy, perverts, mama’s boys with uncut umbilical cords (I hate such men and their oh-so-sweet mothers) and you seem no different to me.

    What politics did you talk about? Are you saying that indianhomemaker blog is funded by a party?

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    • The great feminist ranting that gets much needed air everywhere until people understand the hollow promises underneath…I (we men) do not need to talk about our responsibilities, we carry out our responsibilities, don’t talk much. You women only want rights without any responsibilities. When did you last spoken about any responsibility for yourself (or for women in general). Tell me one responsibility you have for your family or may be for the society..

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    • Rashmi:

      Priya’s “Indianhomemaker” blog is nothing short of junk journalism.

      This woman is only interested in posting commentary and view-points that mirror her own. I have little respect for this woman and her one-sided, feminist ideologies. She practices open censorship by avoiding any and all dialog that threatens her personal perspectives.

      One cannot have honest discussions and engage in meaningful dialog when one is consumed with the indoctrination, brainwashing and polarization of the masses. If she is not part of the solution…then she is part of the problem.

      After reading quite of few of her blogs and getting shunned by her repeatedly, I can say (without reservation) that she has nothing of substance to offer and has nothing of value to add. She is simply a clanging gong that is in love with the sound of her own voice. Let the buyer beware.

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  3. So, now you are personally attacking me? I am not married and I will adopt in future, you know what, a daughter, because I have no prejudiced Indian preference for a male child. Got it!

    Don’t talk about my roles in family because I undertand this filthy strategy to typecast women into roles of mother, wife and daughter-in-law and be subservient to men around them.

    This doesn’t work for me.

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    • Wow..great…At least one child is saved. And it was not personal attack, many feminazis understand this and come to us for releif…lol…you may also be one of them. Do you know what Fiza Khan did in the end…search in Google..you will know. Best of luck.

      If your feminists friends have courage or logic ask them to come to this forum and show your strength..your comments are allowed so will be there’s too..

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      • I didn’t understand your Fiza logic; she committed suicide.

        Are you threatening me that I would be end up committing suicide. Is that the kind of decent conversation that you can hold?
        Pray, tell me which feminists came to you for relief?

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      • How can anyone threaten anyone that he/she will suicide!, what logic is that .. sigh!.

        Anyway emotional atyachar(violence) is far more vitiating than physical violence, and it’s a known survey finding that in the west Intimate partner violence is almost initiated equally by both genders. In India they do not fund any such surveys since they(the feigning women empowerment industry!) do not want the truth to come out and have a chance of disruption in their funds flow(from UN/US, EU, etc., who get all mushy by the falsely projected statistics of violence against women) into their begging bowls.

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    • What does work for you? First correct the women male haters , leave the men alone. No man is going to put a gun on your head to go you for a family or marriage. See the history, there was no marriage, it was made to tie men and give extra privilege to women, now u do not want , fine. There is no law going to put u in jail madam.Good had given two hand, two legs and one brain to you also waht they give to a man, even god had given some extra body parts to you. No one put a gun on your head to get married , you can stay single and adopt as much as child u want, but first stop treat men as free ATM machine, change all the law to Spouse instead of husband/wife and men/women to person. Let see who does wrong and who des right. UK made rape law gender neutral and 65K women convected beyond reasonable dought to rape men/child/other women, but in India women do rape and term it as love, care? If u feel women are angels and do not do crime, first advocate for gender neutral law if u hv taken a drop of honest mother milk, this is challenge to you , make the law gender neutral , then see who 10 times more women will be convected for crime like rape, men eater, elder abuse, child killer.

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      • You seem like a foot-soldier of patriarchy to me.
        Definitely, they reek of subservience especially the daughter-in-law who is uprooted from her own family, planted into her husband’s family with no property rights of her own and turned into an unpaid maid who toils for the major part of life to appease her husband’s parents and strives to achieve an ideal ‘bahu’ tag.
        The way our society defines the role of wives in our society is no better. Karwachauth is just one of many unrealistic and biased expectations from wives.

        This is what Indian society does to mothers and we don’t want that because it traps us. Have a look:

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    • What a lie ….!!! The mail you send to SIF group members and on rejection your mail , you repeatedly coming back with multiple id , forget?

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    • Wait.

      So you understand the filthy strategy to typecast women into the roles of mother, wife and daughter-in-law but you don’t see the gold digging bimbos of NCW passing more and more laws to typecast men into alimony paying ATM machines for the opportunistic bimbos?

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    • hmm..i think if you I am given a choice I will adopt a daughter too. Seeing rate of increase in false rape and fake domestic voilcence cases, having daughter is much safe. Father of a male child is too dagerous. Moreover most crimes are done against men. And I will always fear about sexual assault against a male child. India dont have definition of rape against boys or males.

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  4. Partha
    One thing is for sure due to her kinda limited experiences of her up-bringing she is what she is appearing in her writings.
    Rashmi seems to have a mind set that is too repulsive to get rationalistic about family culture.
    Her ability to understand basic human traits is missing. Its not her fault of course. With her limited stretches of mind she is entering into an elastic world of human (elders too) relationships. She is at a very primitive stage of grasping. She is over whelmed to feminist promoted daily serials, blogs, and is grown mostly influenced to them.
    Its a pity that she hasn’t experienced the warmth of selfless elders.. She hasn’t experienced the salute that is offered by a stranger man to a stranger woman on road when she needs help, a selfless help rendered didn’t made her experience of guys how they adore women.
    She is moved only with some video she posted in sif yahoo groups. She is limited oonly to realise that modern day Shravan kumar’s attempt to make his wife happy who is not at all social enough to touch his big family around.
    She is limited oonly to understand that Shravan’s family members are always around him to void him of his privacy. She doesn’t know that in our homes our family members are not like oonly one Shravan kumar’s parents, they understand couple’s privacy. She compares whole world families are like Shravan kumar’s family who interfere in couple’s privacy. This girl just needs exposure to God’s beautiful creation An Indian Family System.
    Limited experience hence Limited Analysis

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    • To HELL with your Indian family values and system where they burn brides; kill daughters in the womb; turn married women to be subservient robots and unpaid slaves to their husbands’ parents; raise sons to be bhudhapa ka sahara (used as an investment tool to reap benefits later); daughters are labelled as paraya dhan (somebody’s property after marriage); disallow allow sons to have their own family lives; shame men when they stand for their wives by calling them joru ka ghulam (wife’s slave); suffocating patriarchal joint families where women are expected to move in; leaving everything behind, overpowered by her husband’s family; a wife’s parents play second fiddle post-marriage; disallow young boys and girls to mingle together against their natural urge to do so; appreciating brainless obedient sons aka shravan kumars & a lot more………………………

      Liked by 1 person

      • Burn brides” – Give me an example pls.
        “Kill daughters in the womb” – yes. Mothers need to be punished first for that. So pls demand immediate arrest of all those mothers, we will be with you. And also demand criminal punishment for anyone who says – “My body, My choice / Abortion is my right”.
        “Married women as robots and unpaid slaves” – do you have any responsibility in family? I don’t think so. Rather husband is unpaid slave. Read my last two articles on this blog you will understand. So before demanding any right it is time to talk about your responsibilities.
        “Son’s as Budhape pe sahara” – What to do if women like you don’t take any responsibility. We sons have to take no. Even as MRA we don’t think responsibility of the family is bad. So please educate yourself and your feminist friends.
        “Daughters as paraya dhan”– we understand some women like you don’t want to be good for anyone around. So live alone. Who is stopping you. We men are happy with our parents, children and some women who wants to live in family. You can be single with your feminazi freinds.
        “Shame men as Joru ka Gulam” – I thought mother – child is the most precious relation. Never knew about this new theory that joru – husband is even precious. Well I think it should come from someone who takes responsibility and wants to be in a family. You do not want that so you better be alone, lonely.
        “Patriarchal joint family”– You don’t even want family, so don’t talk about it.
        “Leaving everything behind”– hahaha..we know what happens after marriage. If you feminists don’t want to leave anything behind, then why don’t you buy a flat, furnish the same and take up all responsibilities so that the guy can move in. Problem solved. Oh I forgot, you feminists never take any responsibility, only talk about rights and enjoying life like a parasite. Lol..
        “Disallowing young boys and girls to mingle against natural urge”– OMG..who will save the boys from being termed as a rapist and feminazis like you demanding their death penalty and taking the whole nation on ransom? What a criminal proposition is this? Are you going to save those boys from rape cases??
        “Shravan Kumar”– So you think he is brainless?? even I think so. He should have asked his wife to pay for that trip. We men you know, don’t stop taking any responsibility..and always respect and protect women around us..may be that is our fault. You are right here. He is brainless..we should ask our lazy, parasite wives to take up more responsibilities in families…..what is lot more??

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      • Wife killing Husband? Such news will never be a National News in India, if the same done by any Husband it would had been a breaking News. As per Crime Bureau report the murder of Men vs Women is 70:30, but neither Indian media or Government shows any concern.

        Wife engages contract killers to bump off husband

        AHMEDABAD: The Palanpur police got a major breakthrough in the sensational Deesa murder case. A 30 year old man was found dead besides Mota village on the national highway on January 25. The police had arrested two people and had conducted a detailed interrogation of the accused. It turned out that it was the victim’s wife who had orchestrated the entire murder plan.

        Ashok Mali , a resident of Rajpur village was found murdered on the national highway with several injuries. After eyewitness accounts and mobile phone records the police arrested Lalji Prajapati and Kailash Khiemaji, and a detailed interrogation was carried out. The du then revealed that it was the victim’s wife Sonal Mali who had engineered the entire conspiracy. Police suspect an extra marital affair behind the murder. The Deesa police has arrested Sonal.
        http://www.savefamily.in/98-wife-engages-contract-killers-to-bump-off-husband.html
        Any crime done by women should not be crime. The child killed by women only , so first punish them instead of hiding behind the word abortion. Neither god or law had given pwoer to men to protect the child, it is women have t do it. Every right comes with responsibility. Well educated , well earning women if can’t save a child to give birht , either they are born lier or it is waste to give them education or employment.

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        • Partha:

          It is virtually impossible for a woman to walk in a man’s shoes or even entertain a man’s thoughts – they just don’t have the desire, capacity or ability to do so. The reason women (in general) will never fight for men’s causes is that they cannot understand his plight or empathize with his pain. If a woman cannot empathize…she cannot sympathize. If she cannot sympathize…she cannot get emotionally involved. If she does not get emotionally involved…she sees no problem, turns a deaf ear, and moves on.

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      • Ms Sapna.. Making a one line comment is easy. Try finding a fault in the blog and convince yourself by putting yourself in the other’s shoe. If you can still repeat yourself, then your comment will have both weightage and value.

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        • I would have loved to elaborate on my points if only the post was on logical points. The post here is gross-generalization, comments reek of hatred towards women and facts presented here are only half-correct.

          The reason for me to put that comment was just to show that there are people(or at least I do) who strongly disagree with the views presented here.

          Btw feminists are not men-haters but hate the current system which is heavily lop-sided. Also, no not all men are benefactors of patriarchy(eg: bride/daughter’s fathers/ladkiwaale in a marriage) and not all women are victims(Groom’s mother for ex).

          Feminists only want a more just World. It is haters like the author who are making it a men vs women issue. Hope I have made my point clear.

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        • “Gross Generalization” – This is the reality in society today. Men do not think of this as cruelty and domestic violence at all.

          “Strongly Disagree with views” – Why? you have better legal knowledge? Or do you want to say these do not happen in Families?

          “Feminists are not man haters”- Lol…ROFL, ROTFL….go read any feminist post you will know. Well you may not realize if your mindset is also like them.

          “Only women related to husbands benefit”- why do you need to marry then? even worse marry a boy? if boys are so bad?

          “Feminists want more just world”- where a woman can file a false case at the drop of a hat to extort the entire legal system…you think that is just??

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      • @ Sapna. I agree with you as in the real issue is not Men Vs Women, it’s about a rotten system and how to correct it for good. If that’s corrected, everyone who deserves justice will get it. But nothing will be achieved if we keep fighting against each other like those bulls in the story, as the old fox waits for them to bleed and collapse before he can feast on the maimed bulls!.

        We have to clearly see who the enemy is and where the flaws are, see through the facades and deceptions which the system has set up in front of any truth-seeker who wants change the status quo!.

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        • Sapna:

          Feminism has never been about equality or making the world a better place. It has always been about promoting feminine superiority and irresponsibility. After 50 years of militant feminism…America is laboring to take its final breaths as a free nation. With feminism at the helm – virtually every social evil has found a place to roost. It is only a matter of time before this proud ship sinks beneath the waves and comes to rest in a watery grave.

          P.S. Fair-minded people won’t make it a habit of wasting their time reading the “Indianhomemaker” website. Its moderator, Priya, is a close-minded, feminist harpy who only posts comments that she agrees with or opinions that mirror her own.

          To date, she has only posted one of my comments (and she’s nasty as hell). This unemployed and outspoken prima donna speaks of “equality” with a forked-tongue, while her twisted heart dances to the beat of depravity, hence she engages in open censorship, such that, dissenting comments are never seen and opposing opinions are never heard. I have read enough of her blogs to know that she is a wayward soul with nothing to say.

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      • Refusal to accept the domestic violence against men are not only sick, they are criminal , they think a women have birth right to do all crime and the same should not be punished. If u think women do not do domestic violence, why you afraid for gender neutral dv law? Because you know then 10times more women will be convected beyond reasonable dought in court as verbal abuse, economical abuse, sexual abuse is birth right for women like u right madam?

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  5. This women called “Rashmi” is talking senseless. Thanks Partha for your precious time to try to enlightened this women on family values. Because, she had a pad past for “whatever” reason, she has decided to break families & make other’s life hell by venting out poison in the society in the name of feminism or socialism! Really appreciate your efforts! Truth prevails ultimately!

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    • @ Rohan Gupta

      Family values? Why should the onus of nurturing and fostering families rest mainly on the woman’s shoulders? Why should she be burdened with these hollow family values?
      She should suffer in silence in the name of keeping the family together because the moment a woman emerges out of the confines of the house to tell her story, she is ostracised for it and called a home-breaker in our society. Her screams for help should forever remain buried inside her house, never to be heard. Why?
      No, we don’t want to be raised on to a pedestal and be worshipped as mothers in the name of Indian family values. It’s just a way to domesticate women and restrict them to roles of nurture and care.

      I will definitely come up with more.

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      • “nurturing and fostering families rest on women”- lol…do you know any law of the land? Who said women have this responsibility? What if they don’t do anything? in fact they don’t take up any responsibility. ostracised for family – WTH..do you know women have NO responsibility in family. Read my previous article on this to understand.

        Once I knew women are never complete without being mother. If you don;t agree – be alone. Who the hell are you to dictate terms for other women who wants to be happy in their families. Do you think you are moral gurdian of other women?

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      • Family the most Lovely place of the world. But these feminist & politicians are hitting on that place to create tension so that they can get attention. They are promoting Free Money, Legalized murder of men, Legalized adultery for women just and just for their very own interest. What they are doing is the rape of nation. Why not stop that first ?

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      • The responsibility a man takes for family is nill? Whole life have to work like a donkey and then one day die in heart attack. If any women do not want they have choice to refuse marriage , no one put a gun on their head. Family or mrriage a women get the free food, free shelter , free lincence for secure life , let she work or not is her own choice. In the world no other job a women get such free food . If the same not advantages for them, women can very well refuse to marry and family. But when u marry there is a right and responsibility, u can’t ask for only right and refuse to take responsibility. Tell me why adultery is not a crime for women , where a name calling is not only crime for husband, it is crime for whole family of husband?

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      • A women who is greedy , selfish want to break marriage but want to earn money from that in lacks and cores termed less as home breaker, they are legal terrorist. If a marriage does not work, they have option to get separated, no one term them as home breaker , even today they termed as liberated women.

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  6. Only one question.. Are both Men and Women open to unbiased Laws, Equal justice and Equal share of Responsibility. If both agree to Equality, where is the Fight. But, I think at least one of them is not wishing equality. Somebody wants the rights in the name of Modernisation and not willing to own the responsibilities. That one keeps the Fight on.

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  7. @ Partha

    ‘Once I knew women are never complete without being mother. ‘

    This is the message that the patriarchal societies have used to brainwash women for ages and confine to the roles of nature and nurture within their limited spaces firmly guarded by men.
    It’s only now that women are waking up to the reality.
    I am not the moral guardian of others for I am not stopping them from being mothers. But, please let them just be mothers without burdening them with our unfair societal expectations in the name of ‘motherhood’.
    Are you trying to say that women who want to be mothers have no choice but be live up to those expectations, else they shouldn’t be mothers?

    How many women are made to give up the careers for just being mothers but. how many Indian fathers give up their careers and become house-husbands to look after the kids?
    It’s not just about the law but the societal forces at play.

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    • @rashmi
      “how many Indian fathers give up their careers and become house-husbands to look after the kids?” – One day you will say that how many Indian father actually conceived, delivered baby & breast feeded them! WTH – If man would have that capability then they would have done it in the best interest of baby. Superior lady, don’t forget the beautiful part of women i.e. “Motherhood”!

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      • @ Rohan Gupta

        Why is that beautiful part restricted only to women? Do people even say that a Fatherhood completes a man?

        A woman is an individual too and respect her for that. There is more to her and her life than being a wife or a mother.
        She has her interests, hobbies, likes, dislikes, education plan & career and they all complete her.

        Please spare us and don’t shove this motherhood sermon down our throats.

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    • “Women giving up career for their child” – It is their child anyways. So if they are giving up career for their own child and their own interest, what is the big deal? The child is given to the mother even though the father takes up all responsibilities except bearing the child (biological constraint). Since it is woman’s child she needs to take up more pain, In fact she should find ways to raise him too, because the father is anyways treated as a sperm donor and do not even get visitation rights. What career you are talking of? Fathers give up everything for their children..

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    • It’s only now a/c roomed jobs have started being available and women are opting for those. I urge you to try a job which involves hard manual labour, some element of risk and hazard, a lot of hot sun and dust and fumes/pollution, will you opt for it, while a man has to opt for it and many does it without cribbing… men have been doing this for centuries, so that women can do what they can together to develop the unit called family. You are smitten by something and you are no balanced, you do not believe in collaboration or consensus, you are not even a social being, and hence you do not represent the populace. Carry on your aberrant ways, enjoy the consequences, hope you have a good life.

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    • How many women marry a jobless man? if a man is jobless it is crime as per law, but the same not crime for women , so first change the law and punish those women who don’t marry a jobless man or left them as they became jobless. The job a women does can be done with any one with much lesser cost , let be cooking, washing or child care. She get at least 10 to 15 times more benefit that what she do for the family and child. No women is fool to work without any facility.

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    • “….how many Indian fathers give up their careers and become house-husbands to look after the kids?”

      I thought you said we live in a patriarchal society… you do realize what that means don’t you? Work/”Career” for men has always been a responsibility for us. If not towards themselves, towards their families. And that includes the kids. That’s what the societal forces at play are. For every woman who “sacrifices” her “career” for being a wife, I will show you a guy who sacrificed his passion to “get a career” that can support his family.

      In case you don’t see that yet, go to any matrimonial website and look at the profiles for grooms. People shamelessly demand “a husband with minimum paycheck of XYL per anum”, “a husband with a VISA”… i.e no one wants to even let a guy be a father, if he can’t support his family. Not even the bimbos at NCW. Hence the draconian laws.

      And lol what “career” are you even thinking of in the first place. Go to any village (“the backbone of the country”) and see what the word “career” really means there. Spending countless hours under the hot sun in an agricultural field? I m pretty sure the “housewives” there are just happy being a “housewife” and taking care of the cattle, and still manage to contributing to the household financially.

      Like

    • Yes one aberrant behaviour from one more woman(this time a mother in law(MIL), as portrayed by a DIL, who knows whats the other side of the story, but anyway let’s take the given version as the reference point out of compulsion, due to unavailability of the other side’s version!), so what do you want to imply by this?.

      Like

      • @ Gokul

        I want to point that many Indian men are raised by their greedy, conniving, possessive, control-freak, conniving mothers to be brainless, spineless squids who can’t stand up for their adorable girlfriends & wives.

        The story of fakeindianbahu proves that.

        If only these mothers raise their sons to be independent thinkers, many of their marital problems will fizzle away.

        Like

      • @ Rashmi, these are exceptions not the majority, plus what’s stopping an independent woman to chose her partner wisely?. Anyway the aberration(“If only these mothers raise their sons to be independent thinkers, many of their marital problems will fizzle away.”) you cited is of a woman too, she was a bride too some time back, this cycle has been repeating and will repeat in future too, not because of anything else, but because of intolerance of women to each other!.

        Like

      • @ Rashmi, quit being selectively perceptive, that’s seems to be another problem in your world view!, I clearly said ” intolerance of women to each other!”, and I hope the meaning is very clear. Now if you remove your coloured viewing glasses you could hope to see the world as it is!.

        Like

    • Yes, women like you want a jora ka gulam like a pet dog, when u cant then blame to others. it is fact women like u are the main rapist, greedy, selfish and want every think as free without taking any responsibility, a mother at least done some think for their son, but what u have done for your husband ?

      Like

  8. Dear Rashmi,

    Your and many of your feminists friends rants sound so similar dude that it would be an understatement to call them redundant. Why are your parents sooooooo desperate to get you out of the house? Did your mother not stop you from doing something? Did you protest with her? How do all the expectation get loaded on in-laws? They are human beings brought up in the same society and in the same structures.

    You know what …………..I strongly feel you are so frustrated with your own self that you are just trying to find reasons to blame the society, in laws, husband, his mother for everything wrong that’s happened with you. Lady….why do women like you marry in the first place? What is your idea of marriage? What did you think it to be? Bed of roses where you would have a chained dog fulfilling all your wishes? Did you ever ridicule any of your friend for being a dominatrix over her husband? Then why is your brigade against men who are ‘allegedly’ dominating women?

    For information of general public..she apparently is so furious over her mother in law as she did not allow her to wear a bikini in one of the family functions 🙂 🙂

    Get well soon Rashmi. My sincere prayers for you.

    Like

    • @ Deepika

      Could you please offer logical arguments without resorting to personal attacks on commenters here, please.
      Kindly don’t spread rumours about me because it was about wearing bikini in a pool at a party. So, it’s different. I call that venue-appropriate clothing (a saree in a pool, lol?) and noone has the right to dictate the clothing choices of a woman.

      Like

      • She had given very logical answer, it is you are running here and there like a street dog, with out any arguments or logic. Reply her the question she asked first, why women like u marry if u feel the same not good for you? Demand scrap all marriage law first, if you have taken a drop of honest mothers milk. U question people replied, now u reply her question, can u a frustrated women like u can’t.

        Like

    • They are worse than some street dogs, at least some street dogs understand they are unwanted , but they do not understand that also. Keep coming in your door and beg , pls accept my logic. They have option not to go for marriage or family, no one put a gun on them , but no , they want marriage and family without any responsibility , they want only right. They do not want the law with person and spouse, they want the word men, women , husband, wife in all and policy. They may have 10 rs but husband should not get 1 rupees form that, but if a husband get 100 rupees, they want 50 rupees for them. They think they can fool any man by their femininity and every day 10 man will be running behind them , but do not know after 45 or 47 , they have only one death like FIZZA DEATH where a street dog also unable to find their dead body for more than 3 days.

      Like

  9. @ Gokul

    I clearly said ” intolerance of women to each other!”

    No, you are wrong when you say that because as against several daughters-in-law oppressed by their mothers-in-law, we may have a singular, isolated case of a mother-in-law being at the receiving end.

    It’s not about a woman being woman’s greatest enemy. Men can’t get away either.
    Both parents (that obviously included fathers) of the sons raise their sons to be subservient slaves while those of daughters are selfish and exhibit unconditional love,
    Such fathers (many of them) of sons are equally selfish.

    Like

    • It’s my view that you are talking about a minority of the populace, I hope you do not base your world-view and philosophy on just your own personal experience, look around… and you will have a more balanced view

      Like

      • @ Gokul

        This is the reality and most women will concur with it. Many Indian parents raise boys/men to be subservient, obedient sons and so, these men aren’t suited to be in a marital/romantic relationship.
        They don’t have a mind of their own.

        Like

  10. Rashmi you have been already been hounded and sounded off one Mr. Ajit Vadakayil’s blog online for being delusional. You are about to be here as well it seems.

    Be your own island and never experience the love and respect that I believe every single woman should aspire for and get, as a small token of gratitude for the multitude of ways in which they serve as a mother, wife, daughter etc. You are INCAPABLE of getting or even showing this kind of love and respect and that shall be your bane.

    You and your feminist (feminazi) friends can FO to wherever you came from. It is definitely not a MOTHER.

    You are a monster. Press your self destruct button NOW in 3 2 1 …….. BOOM.

    P.S: Psychiatric illness is closely linked to PMS and/ or hormonal problems. General advice for you to get yourself checked.

    Like

    • Oh… if a women term men as selfish , greedy is not personal attack. If any men or women term the same to a women is personnel attack , shabhita bahabI?

      Like

    • Street dogs do not understand the arguments . Many question asked to you , but you have not answered, only doing same repeater arguments.

      Like

  11. Excellent post. The Author has really done a great analysis to reveal the ignored story. And obviously it cause disturbance to the minds which can’t accept truth. It is already known that Feminism is a hate movement . Men is also a part of society, family system, thus feminism also hit women – mother, sister due to their blessed relationship with son, brother.

    The only blind logic feminist apply is “society is patriarchy” ; to win debate. If true (at all ?) still no points given why it is bad. What about the contribution, the provider-protector role ? No analysis No points ….

    Even the healthy relationship of family systems are continuously threaten by these feminists to satisfy their own interest. Why ? Surely they have the rights to be single, adopt child, and many more ….. but they have no rights to promote gender war, spread poisons among human who are optimistic, who honor responsibilities / love family system/ love father , brother, son, husband. The points they fail to understand is – HUMAN. HUMANISM has all the ingredients to look after all issue of both the gender. Feminism might be the only theory where Rights exists without Responsibility.

    Congratulation to the Author to unleash the truth. He deserves the negative replies because truth is bitter.

    Like

  12. It is a big shame how feminists are allowed to destroy family system in India behind the mask of women empowerment. They only empower their personal greed behind this social mask. They are after sex and money but not real woman welfare. A Big Shame for us that we are silent spectator of this damage to the nation

    Like

  13. If I never come to this debate page, I would never know the true face of feminists and their evil arguments to destroy family system behind the mask of women empowerment. So much loud cry to earn free money and taste forbidden relationship. SHOCKING

    Like

  14. It is really funny that when people speaks truth and it goes against female gender, immediacy the author is marked as “women hater” without any supportive logic. How long should we practice this double-standard to prove ourself women lovers ?

    Like

  15. @ Rashmi,

    i have read all your comments & found no difference in you as referrred in Captain’s Blog. One thing which i want to ask you or you can ask yourself “What do you want from your life”

    Like

  16. The bottom line is , the day rape , domestic violence , maintain law will be gender neutral , 10 times more women will be convected beyond reasonable dought . This male haters like rashmi, want all rights , but do not want to take any responsibility. First make all law and policy men/women to person and husband/wife to spouse, then talk about . or it is some rapist , greedy women who want a life style of animal and their failure termed as others fault. God had given them also two hand, two legs and one brain, they talk about all rights after marriage, but before marriage they even can’t buy a napkin for them self by hard work. Always dream the free money, free home, free sex , free lincence to do all crime a man do , but if a women do the same crime it should not be termed as crime. They will keep blame marriage/family, but will never ask NCW to scrap the marriage law. On the other hand they will keep looking how to make more money in the name of marriage.

    Like

  17. This discussion is so beneath my level. The commenter by the name of ‘stop abuse of men’ is personally abusing me and expects answers from me. I am not her to address his rabid comments.

    The blog owner should ask him to carry the discussion forward in a civil manner.

    He doesn’t need to single me out because it’s not me but the WE all , feminists think like that.
    I am just voicing the opinions of modern and independent Indian women.

    Like

  18. Hats Off to Partha. All Feminazi’s including Rashmi is unable to give any logical answers and is running here and there, so that people accept her logics and listen to her the way she want all MEN to listen and obey.

    Like

  19. A small point of view:
    1) We should understand that a glass can be called as half empty or as half full. If in marraige a ” innocent” girl is coming to in-laws house, at the same time, the entire husband’s family is also taking the risk an unknown person into their house ( many cases we do not know the true background of wife side) who may one day not only steal your money but also destroy your entire family and reputation. The worst distruction is done when such women run of with the child without the slightest guilt of supressing the right of the child to have access to his father.
    2) Today is the age of ” Taliban Feminists”.
    3) Lets understand misandary towards men. The worst jobs are reserved for men – In army its the men on the field has to give up his life!!!! Can one imagine the fate of a lady soilder ( if ever there is one) caught by enemy ? Feminists are like kids who can only speak/ write because they do not understand the reality and complexcity of life and the different phases( world scenario is also cyclial) that the world goes through.

    Thats for now.

    Like

    • @ Rizwan

      LOL, it’s actually the reverse because it is the abused women who are silenced into shame for no fault of theirs while the man who abuses walks away with pride.
      We don’t even get to know about numerous cases of violence against women, they are never brought to the surface.

      Like

  20. you need to understand the different side as well while you discuss on reverse because men also subject to violence that you could see on public media and it is publicly unearthed.

    Like

  21. Men might also be subject to violence by a few women and many other men.
    But, their numbers are far less in comparison to those of abused women in our society.

    Like

    • @Rashmi – Madam with due respect, finally you allow yourself to be with the truth still use “might” in “Men might also be subject to violence” as a restrictive wall. Well can you please inform such mechanism/commission/law which collect the stat on male abuse ? can you suggest a single pro-male law which can save my Father/brother/husband/son from violence / extortion / abuse ?

      Also interested to know the source of your information that “Men might also be subject to violence ”

      Thank U

      Like

  22. It might be far less to your view since there is no mechanism exists in the system to record obviously hence you are adjudging like this. Do you think abused men continue to get abused for ever?

    Like

  23. @ Rashmi,
    People will see what they want to see. People’s life and surrounding makes a huge impact on their thinking and its something you cannot change. For instance you can see a innoucous article on someone being kidnapped and the people commenting start blaming Obama. The author may have been abused by women in his life ie:Mom may been domineering to dad, sister may been bossy, wife may have pussy whipped him. Who knows?
    Same thing goes for you, you may have faced oppresive males in your life and that forms your opinions in life. A hatred for men trying to hold ya down.
    Truth remains though that everyday in India thousands of Girl children are killed and they dont have a chance.
    The men that are commenting here are educated and probably working and have a shot @ life, they can leave and live by themselves, whats stopping them? If you are pussy whipped, leave grow some balls.
    Rashmi did!

    Like

    • @Nirvana appreciate your analysis which is EYE OPENER. so men need women parts to be heard, to say their story. AWESOME !!

      When a baby killed as an effect of adultery no question, but if it is a female gender then man who has no connection with this adultery has to be blamed because he is husband of an adulterous wife. AWESOME !!

      If child is unwanted by mother, abort, no question, but if it is female baby blame a man. AWESOME !!

      Good Going …..

      Like

  24. @Nirvana appreciate your analysis which is EYE OPENER. so men need women parts to be heard, to say their story. AWESOME !!

    When a baby killed as an effect of adultery no question, but if it is a female gender then man who has no connection with this adultery has to be blamed because he is husband of an adulterous wife. AWESOME !!

    If child is unwanted by mother, abort, no question, but if it is female baby blame a man. AWESOME !!

    Good Going …..

    Like

  25. @ Sulekha, you may want to go back to class 5 and take reading comprehension and then comment.
    Or ask your school for a refund. Because obviously all logic is lost on you.
    you are the classic example of I will hear only what I want to hear cos I am a nitwit.
    where are you concluding men, need women parts to be heard?
    I said, Men have a choice, if they are unhappy with the women in the life, they can leave. Whats holding them, mama’s apron strings? I have seen a lot of men being whipped by thier moms, wifes etc…and I have no respect for them…grow some balls. Take a Stand.
    Children (male or female) do not have a choice.
    And FYI I do not Believe in abortion. So suck on that you moron

    Like

    • @Nirvana

      [ where are you concluding men, need women parts to be heard? ]

      – could you name a single pro-men law comparing 48 pro-women law ?

      [I said, Men have a choice, if they are unhappy with the women in the life, they can leave. Whats holding them, mama’s apron strings?]

      – Really ? IPC 498A , DV Act 2005 and lot more are falsely filed these days against whole family just to destroy the men and their families and to extort money. Mother sister also suffer.

      [I have seen a lot of men being whipped by their moms, wifes etc…and I have no respect for them…grow some balls]

      – Why double standard ? if women then tortured if men then grow some balls ?

      [And FYI I do not Believe in abortion. So suck on that you moron]

      – read carefully to understand the meaning. Even if women do it for own interest, man is to be blamed, why ?

      [you may want to go back to class 5 and take reading comprehension and then comment.
      Or ask your school for a refund]

      – honestly I would be happy if my comprehension are wrong. Because it brings a lot of good, but dear before bursting on me & blindly pointing me as moron check the reality. Check it with IPC 498A, DV Act, propose IRBM where mother sister have no rights. There are total 48

      Like

  26. Adn also abuse is abuse, whether it is towards any gender. In the US, women are arrested if you assault your husband. But how do you escape that cycle of violence if you are a kid?
    If you are man, you can leave ain’t nothin stoppin; ya babe.
    A women in many ways is shackled by “Where will I go, what will people say?, who will provide for my kids?” etc….
    Bottomline, People can be Douchebags in any gender.

    Like

    • I am in US, and a man is arrested, even if woman has been hitting him, as per law. Obviously you are not aware of such provisions in law, so avoid talking about it. In fact, use of logic is cited as abuse, so fork right off you mangina.

      Like

  27. @Nirvana Thanks for sharing. Unfortunately it is missing in India. Here Law is so against man and their family, even the same pro-women law blindly accused mother sister and other women members of the husband just because of a false complaint. Then think the situation a husband/male has to face in reality in India.
    Can Law be gender biased ?

    Like

  28. what Partha said is 100% right ,Every married men in india face Domestic violence but they silently bare the pain and they will not share their problems with others this is the problem of indian men.

    Like

    • You are correct. Men are not sharing because there is no platform for men like how women have NCW, women ministry. Media is biased to wards men.
      Example is Delhi Nirbya case vs Nagaland Lynch case

      See the difference reaction of Media.

      Media fight many months w.r.t Delhi gang rape. But same media just ignored Nagaland Lynch even though it is declared it is false case on man. Man publicly murdered.

      Like

  29. Sad to see so many comments against you, which make no sense. This is the problem with Asia, too many men take the blue pill and love it. Masochist.

    Like

    • @John it much more complex than the simple “Masochist” . The problem is not with Asia but with specifically to India. Indian system is highly gender biased and loaded with all anti-male laws. Even the corrupted law makers proudly announce that they make such laws to protect women where don’t even know the meaning of women. They don’t consider daughter, mother, sister and aged women as “women” . India has been passing through the bad phase of feminism. Male are supporting this hate movement to get quick favor and popularity among opposite sex. The system is following this trend to get free money and sex. If you blindly talk about women empowerment you get quick favor and less competitive environment. The family system is destroyed by their own law makers, police and courts. So “Masochist” is not the correct term here.

      Like

  30. Agreed except for what you deem as sexual abuse. It’s stupid and selfish to turn your husband or wife down when they want sex. You are not single anymore and it’s time to grow up. Love is not some wishy-washy infatuation. It is not FAIR to say ‘no’ to your spouse when there is only ONE place they can go to get their needs satisfied. Would you deny your children food? You are not the only person with emotions and needs and you will not always be ‘on the same page’ as your partner. Unless you are having an uncomfortable emotional flashback from past abuse, there is no legitimate reason to say you are ‘not in the mood’. If you wanted to continue pampering your selfish emotions than you were not ready for marriage and should not have gotten married. Your commitment is to be there for your partner in sickness and health. If your partner strays even after you have remained active and groomed; than you will know that their moral fiber was flawed from the get-go. Having sexual freedom in your marriage does not permit you to act on urges when your spouse is physically unavailable to say ‘yes’.

    Experience: I was abused by a parent as a child. As an adult I’ve also seen a family suffer the same abuse. I am willing to bet that the spouse repeatedly refused sex in both cases; maybe even to the point where bringing it up was futile. In the end, everyone gets screwed up in the head. It will be much better for society to admit that humans have needs. It will always be better to be available to your spouse when they have that midlife drive-renewal and those needs surface. If your spouse strays when you stay FAITHFUL and GROOMED after all these years; they are immature and rotten. Leave them for the sake of society and allow your children to live a better life.

    Like

  31. Every word in this article is true. India and it’s men are disgusting. I met an Indian man who already had a girlfriend in America. I am in Germany. His name is Anmol Chandan or Nikka Anmol. He cheats lies and is a lying piece of shite. He took photos of our visit to show his friends and used me. He uses online dating sites to find women all over the world and con them. He uses them to stay or have sex until they see him in person……. He is disgusting with bad hygiene and clogged pores all over. Dirty. He is doesn’t deserve any woman and all need to beware.

    Like

    • I am not a judge and by knowing one sided story I never make up my mind. I will accept your story as true but still for one man’s behaviour you can not blame the entire menfolk in India. So the hatred that you have poured over here only shows poorly on you and people reading it will understand that instantly.

      Like

  32. Hi, I think you have made a point on behalf of all the men. I have been a victim of domestic violence by my husband for several years including physical abuse. You need to be in my position and every other woman who has faced this. It is horrendous. .The pain from abuse physical mental and emotional is unbearable. Had you seen your mother sister daughter close female friend go through it, you would not have had the audacity to write this. I pity you for your ignorance.

    Like

    • So what do you think? Men experiencing domestic violence should not be considered as crime? Or do you think that is not pain at all? I have suffered domestic violence from my cranky wife, don’t you think I should be given option to file criminal case against her? but at present what is the provision for me? net net, I pity your biasness..Simply because you might have undergone cruelty does not mean every man should be deprived of justice.

      Like

    • I know the pain of being choked until I go blue, I know the pain of being left bleeding on the floor, the pain of sexual abuse, my blood cursing through my wounds, scars that will never heal, the burn of cigarettes, broken nose, all through the hands of women.
      Sister or lover, some friends and randos as well.
      AND I NEVER LIFT MY HAND WITHOUT BEING HIT FIRST AT LEAST A FEW TIMES.
      So I’ll tell you what I heard.
      MAN THE FUCK UP!

      And that’s what the indian men hear when they are in the same situation as you.

      signed: a Brazilian bloke with too many scars to count and with no intention of arguing against parity on legislation just because someone fucked me up because I was fucked up so I know what’s like and for that exact same reason I don’t believe you.
      Because when you are so fucked up that your eyelids are glue together by your own blood you try to make friends with people in the same boat, not throw them under the bus.

      Like

  33. You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this
    topic to be actually something that I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post,
    I’ll try to get the hang of it!

    Like

  34. Indian men, just deny sex and relationship of any kind.
    When they realize you are too used to suffering violence you don’t fear for your life anymore, then they will act nice.

    signed: A brazilian bloke.

    Ps: otherwise don’t complain.

    Like

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