Image Courtesy – monbebagi.blogspot.com
So, are you happy with your divorce? Are you happy with what your advocates promised to bring to you with payment of some money to your estranged wife and to them? As a woman are you happy that you received some alms in the name of alimony from your ex? The next and hardest part of your life actually starts now. Getting married again, and being happy.
The Effect of Maintenance And Alimony
With maintenance and alimony being projected as women’s rights, no matter whether she is working or she was in an adulterous relations or she had a baby in her extramarital relation or she was extremely cruel to her ex-husband, women always felt secure in the so-called mode of empowerment through marriage and through the so-called settlement of divorce by extortion of their estranged husbands. Every man who wants to get a divorce, undergo the same treatment and some women even feel PROUD about getting maintenance and alimony. It is seen even women working in the big corporate file for multiple maintenance cases and cases under DV Act only to extort the husband.
Under this situation, it should not surprise anyone why the second marriage of all women who have filed criminal cases against their former husband or received maintenance in their earlier marriage without proper justification is becoming extremely difficult. This situation of women will only worsen with the passage of Marriage Law Amendment (popularly known as IrBM). The feminist propaganda of women being subjected to cruelty in the past and hence these laws need to be enacted to extort men in the present is not only funny but also do not impress common men today. Men who have suffered in their first marriage, suffer along with their mother, sisters and other women relatives of their house. As a result, some unscrupulous women ruin the future of all women who probably will never misuse the laws against anyone.
Cruelty As Empowerment
Under this situation, it is not a surprise why the TOI article says that – “researches suggest 75% second marriages end in divorce”. When exhibiting cruelty to the former husband becomes synonymous with empowerment, when extortion becomes synonymous with empowerment then this is set to happen. In fact, when women become too much powerful legally and when the husband is left with no option but to BUY Divorce, then the phrase “Innocent Divorcee” becomes a misnomer for all women. Women become more responsible to save their marriages because it is only them who can break a marriage very easily. Under these circumstances, all the so-called ‘innocent divorcees’ are seen as potential misusers of law as confirmed by the TOI article (refer to what Reena 38 said- “My in-laws feel that I may lodge a police complaint anytime, the way I did in the first marriage. They are a little apprehensive towards me.” )
Yes, once you get a divorce not by peaceful means but by filing false cases to earn some quick bucks you set to lose your dignity and your future life, too. Nowadays, men have started asking for the reference of her past husband and in-laws in case of marrying for the second time as even Mutual Consent Divorce (MCD) does not mean the woman in question did not have any fault.
Remember ladies, when proving the adultery of a woman is next to impossible when even women with children outside of their marriages are given extreme rights to extort their husbands – divorced women with children will always be looked as possible adulterer which would be seen as the reason behind the breakdown of her first marriage. She will instantly lose the chance of getting married again unless her paramour marries her.
The Psychological Parameter
In this context, the comment of Psychologist Bhavna Barmi and Sociologist Reeta Brara in the article that “men are self-centred and more often than not try to find surrogate mothers for their child that does not promise a healthy husband-wife relationship” is extremely outrageous and misandric.
Most often in matrimonial relations children are given to the mother under another form of empowerment through our child custody laws. So the question of the father having the child is almost zero. Also, I have directly experienced how a recently divorced woman with a kid wanted to marry me even without my divorce and without any affair with me. I too felt she was not looking for love but for a free ATM who could take care of her and her kid’s financial needs. I have outrightly rejected her saying I did not know about her past and hence can’t marry her. Under these circumstances the comment of psychologists should have been – “women are self-centred, and more often than not try to find surrogate fathers for their kid that does not promise a healthy husband-wife relationship.”
Children – Where Do They Go?
Also, the solution to these second marriage blues given by Reeta at the end of the TOI article is outrageous. ‘send the kids to boarding school/hostels or grandparents house’. How funny, when the kids with their moms are not allowed to go to their real fathers or deliberately kept away from the grandparents (again under the various forms of women empowerment) how can they go to their grandparents? (…Oh, they do have parents of their mom.) But what these feminist ideologists and misandrist psychologists like Reeta do not understand that it is a form of child abuse she is suggesting – be happy, by keeping the children unhappy, by keeping them away from both the parents.
If today, in India a situation like this has occurred, a skewed sense of women empowerment and our biased policies enforced by our feminists are responsible for that. It is the same empowerment that takes away love and responsibilities from women and makes them self-centred and alienated from society and also from their own families.
The Male Factor (TMF) 
Bhavna Barmi and Sociologist Reeta Brara seem to be very self centered based on their life experience n knowledge that they hv. Have their father not worked hard n given them good living? Well only they wud know.
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Dear partha,
A sincere effort to show mirror to feminist, they have been promoting misandric/ anti male laws for years and now want society to pay them back honestly.
Soon with more awareness it would become extremely difficult for women to get second marriage , even if they do it is difficult to carry it on with typical feminist mind set. I am from a state of India wherein too many false cases of dowry and others, those people are fining it extremely difficult to go in second marriage because of bad fame, society is not a fool , it Learn from herself and payback wrong people In right manner.
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very nice article partha sir
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A nice article Partha. Hitting right at the root of the issue…
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Partha, How will the prospective husband of 2nd marriage know whether the divorcee woman had filed 498-a and other extortion cases against her previous husband?? Many a time it even becomes impossible to know whether the woman was previously married or now, right?? What if the woman doesn’t mention that she was previously married to her 2nd husband?? Or even worse she’s still in the process of divorcing her 1st husband but doesn’t mention this to her 2nd husband!!
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That is why a lot of information need to be taken before one marries. Join Save Indian Family and Men’s Rights Groups and work with them to learn more..
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I fully agree with Partha. We all need to be v careful in today’s times.
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Well in brief, Is there a legal way to get such information, or do you simply have to ask the relatives?? Asking relatives is a tougher job in my opinion.
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I’m asking what are the means to get information because many a times if you ask men’s rights groups about ways to get such information they’ll joke and say avoid marriage :-D. Prevention is better than cure. 😀
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Visit your nearest meeting and chat with our activists to get your answer. Problem is even if she was innocent under present circumstances when criminal women are not punished, anyone can misuse the laws at any time.
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OK thanks for reply Partha da. Anyway I think some precautions that can be taken by bachelors looking to get married is that they shouldn’t own any property in their name before getting married, preferably stay in a rented apartment just after marriage, and bachelors must keep a sizeable portion of their wealth in Gold/Silver kept away in a safe place instead of keeping in bank like Fixed deposits, etc, as this can be confiscated by the government and be given to daughter in law as alimony.
And yes more volunteers must participate in SIF, Men’s rights organisations nearest to them.
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Our ancestors told us that marriage is blessings and now we are discussing about second marriage as the first one has failed. So Shocking. I don’t know if it is some kind of “Empowerment” to anyone !!
But surely we accept it or not, these misandric situation is hitting back and innocents are suffering because of the misdeeds of abusers.
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Beautiful article Partha,very well said.
Things will change for sure,but am not sure if we would be a part of that change.
“The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.”
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great article Partha! You articles are tempting and I read it in one shot.
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Thanks
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I guess you really have something against women… hehe… Haha.. All women are not alike so chill! You’ll surely meet someone someday and understand this yourself….
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I know Bushra you may be different so chill. Anti feminism is not anti – women…so CHILL. Feminism is here to ruin you so be careful..
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Partha it’s good to see you give a v rational reply.
Dear Bushra, U r right, all women r not alike. In my case my mom, nani, my sisters, my aunts, my niece, most of my tutors, my school principal and doctors hv all been so kind and nice. I am thankful that they r part of my life. Without them, I wud not have been what I m today.
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Bushra is a great friend of mine and I am a great fan her blogging..
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We actually want to belief ( due to our own interest) by heart that not all are same…. hehe … haha. But when 98% cases are false then majority are not lucky to have a dream girl from that 2% good. And still it is reality that “All” women are not like so… hehe…. haha….
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We actually want to belief ( due to our own interest) by heart that not all are same…. hehe … haha. But when 98% cases are false then majority are not lucky to have a dream girl from that 2% good. And still it is reality that “All” women are not like so… hehe…. haha….
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Hey,
Your words portray that you are hurt and I am sorry for that. Silly me!
Anyways, my advice( free of cost 😉 ) to you is:
In the Garden of life,there are many flowers,
midst them disguised in beauty are thorns,
If you let those thorns bother you, they’ll blossom more,
So just ignore, step on them and continue your journey…. 🙂
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Bushra..this is why u r my favourite…btw..I am in Bangalore now
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Haha…n that’s cool! I hope you are coping up with Bangalore’s weather…
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Hi Partha, It is good to know Bushra is a good friend of yours, mainly becoz she seems rational person.
I did not know that. Pl tell me about her blog name. Might be useful to many here.
Hi Bushra, Best wishes to you,
JM
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Hey JM,
I am glad you are interested in my blog 🙂 Feel free t drop by any time:
http://stillettomaniac.blogspot.in/
(ehem, and I hope this isn’t spam 😛 )
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How can your reply go to spam Bushra…that too on my blog. You are one of the finest bloggers I have seen..well when is my training scheduled?
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Subscribed! Thanks.
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A perfect eye opening article for society . where still people r thinking about woman need to be more empowered but the truth is mans are committing suicide by due to this woman empowerment . in this woman empowerment girls are openly and darely filing false cases on innocents males and there family members but after proving this in court that the lady filed false case on innocents still no jail no punishment for her now days woman’s wants like this bias one-sided woman empowerment . I must say one thing really shame on society and shame on this type of “woman empowerment”….!!!!
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To whom it may concern:
It has been said, “If a woman can do something…she likely will; if she cannot…she won’t”. What this means is if a woman is allowed to divorce her husband without cause and without provocation (“no fault divorce”) – she probably will, especially if her friends are doing it and society no longer frowns upon it.
In America, wives file for 80% of all divorces. They do this, not because they are abused or mistreated, but because they can. They can divorce at their discretion, because it is no longer a violation of social or moral norms in our society and she will retain custody of the children and take control of the family assets 90% of the time. So, in the USSA (United Sodomite States of America), divorce is no longer looked upon by women as shameful, as it once was, but as a good business decision or as the “golden parachute”.
In fact, in a popular women’s magazine, women were encouraged to leave their happy marriages in order to find a man that could potentially make them extremely happy.
At any rate, it is well known across the globe that America is a sick animal in need of good medicine, but what I cannot understand is why India is becoming more and more like the United States in thought, word, and deed?
Trust me when I tell you that growing economies and growing democracies, if not held in check, will always lead to abject greed, moral decline, and societal decay. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, the love of money, and unbridled freedoms are not worth losing your country and your soul, so please take the necessary precautions to avert this storm before it’s too late. Things are rarely what they seem to be, so be careful what you hope for. Peace be with you.
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[…] Second marriage blues […]
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Very Nice blog which shows truth..
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I have come across both genders who have gone through painful divorce. “Misuse of 498A by Women- husband defaming the wife’s character” whereas the actual problem is ego, lack of understanding and not willing to work on marriage. How many among us can remain unbiased & confront when their own Sister/ Brother makes false allegations on their spouse? The so called Panchayat conducted by relatives between both parties support default to whom they belong.
Marrying for the second time Bride/ Groom (Majority) still prefer Caste, Job, Income, Visa status (In case of NRIs) , Looks, No kids. Not very much knowing the past. After going through such an emotional turmoil how can one still prefer based on the above rather than who the person is ! Trouble maker will continue to ruin every marriage they enter -Thats Karma.
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