Image Courtesy – monbebagi.blogspot.com
So, are you happy with your divorce? Are you happy with what your advocates promised to bring to you with payment of some money to your estranged wife and to them? As a woman are you happy that you received some alms in the name of alimony from your ex? The next and hardest part of your life actually starts now. Getting married again, and being happy.
The Effect of Maintenance And Alimony
With maintenance and alimony being projected as women’s rights, no matter whether she is working or she was in an adulterous relations or she had a baby in her extramarital relation or she was extremely cruel to her ex husband, women always felt secured in the so called mode of empowerment through marriage and through the so called settlement of divorce by extortion of their estranged husbands. Every man who wants to get divorce, undergo the same treatment and some women even feel PROUD about getting maintenance and alimony. It is seen even women working in big corporate file for multiple maintenance cases and cases under DV Act only to extort the husband.
Under this situation it should not surprise anyone why second marriage of all women who have filed criminal cases against their former husband or received maintenance in their earlier marriage without proper justification is becoming extremely difficult. This situation of women will only worsen with the passage of Marriage Law Amendment (popularly known as IrBM). The feminist propaganda of women being subjected to cruelty in the past and hence these laws need to be enacted to extort men in the present is not only funny but also do not impress common men today. Men who have suffered in their first marriage, suffer along with their mother, sisters and other women relatives of their house. As a result, some unscrupulous women ruin the future of all women who probably will never misuse the laws against anyone.
Cruelty As Empowerment
Under this situation it is not a surprise why the TOI article says that – “researches suggest 75% second marriages end in divorce”. When exhibiting cruelty to the former husband becomes synonymous to empowerment, when extortion becomes synonymous to empowerment then this is set to happen. In fact, when women become too much powerful legally and when the husband is left with no option but to BUY Divorce, then the phrase “Innocent Divorcee” becomes a misnomer for all women. Women become more responsible to save their marriages because it is only them who can break a marriage very easily. Under these circumstances, all the so called ‘innocent divorcees’ are seen as potential mis-users of law as confirmed by the TOI article (refer to what Reena 38 said- “My in-laws feel that I may lodge a police complaint anytime, the way I did in the first marriage. They are a little apprehensive towards me.” )
Yes, once you get divorce not by peaceful means but by filing false cases to earn some quick bucks you set to lose your dignity and your future life, too. Nowadays, men have started asking for the reference of her past husband and in-laws in case of marrying for a second time as even Mutual Consent Divorce (MCD) does not mean the woman in question did not have any fault.
Remember ladies, when proving the adultery of a woman is next to impossible, when even women with children outside their marriages are given extreme rights to extort their husbands – divorced women with children will always be looked as possible adulterer which would be seen as the reason behind breakdown of her first marriage. She will instantly lose chance of getting married again unless her paramour marries her.
The Psychological Parameter
In this context the comment of Psychologist Bhavna Barmi and Sociologist Reeta Brara in the article that “men are self-centred and more often than not try to find surrogate mothers for their child that does not promise a healthy husband-wife relationship” is extremely outrageous and misandric.
Most often in matrimonial relations children are given to the mother under another form of empowerment through our child custody laws . So the question of the father having the child is almost zero. Also I have directly experienced how a recently divorced woman with a kid wanted to marry me even without my divorce and without any affair with me. I too felt she was not looking for love but for a free ATM who could take care of her and her kid’s financial needs. I have outrightly rejected her saying I did not know about her past and hence can’t marry her. Under these circumstances the comment of psychologists should have been – “women are self centred, and more often than not try to find surrogate fathers for their kid that does not promise a healthy husband-wife relationship.”
Children – Where Do They Go?
Also the solution to these second marriage blues given by Reeta at the end of the TOI article is outrageous. ‘send the kids to boarding school / hostels or grandparents house’. How funny, when the kids with their moms are not allowed to go to their real fathers or deliberately kept away from the grandparents (again under various form of women empowerment) how can they go to their grandparents? (…Oh, they do have parents of their mom.) But what these feminist ideologist and misandrist psychologists like Reeta do not understand that it is a form of child abuse she is suggesting – be happy, by keeping the children unhappy, by keeping them away from both the parents.
If today, in India a situation like this has occurred, skewed sense of women empowerment and our biased policies enforced by our feminists are responsible for that. It is the same empowerment that takes away love and responsibilities from women and makes them self centred and alienated from the society and also from their own families.