I was traveling to Kolkata when I met that family on the train. They were altogether four in number, the parents, their teenage daughter (14 yrs) and another boy in his final year of Engineering.
The girl was more beautiful than any film artist. If I need to compare, I can only compare her with Aishwarya Rai. No Bengali actress comes near her in terms of grace and elegance. At a first glance, it is very difficult to take the eyes off her. She was only 14 but looks like a matured college going young lady.
There were two other youths traveling with us. Both in their early 30’s and we befriended easily. We were having great fun amongst three of us while that family was little reserved. Very soon the father joined us and we slowly got to know each other. They went to Hyderabad for treatment of all of them – counseling for the girl and eye treatment for rest of them. I did not get into details of treatment and very soon we became like one family and started playing cards and share jokes and food. It was the best journey in my life. After some time I realized that the boy is actually the boyfriend of that girl when they started being cozy on the train. The girl spoke less, slept almost in the whole journey and merely had taken any food in the journey. At a first glance she seemed to have eating disorder and we thought that was the reason she went for treatment.
After we became close enough one of the other two boys, became close to the mother of the girl and all I could hear was they were discussing something in whispers. Before that I heard the parents talking about sending someone to jail etc. but they didn’t divulge anything to me. I didn’t care much too.
The journey was over in due course and the guy who became close to the mother lived near my house. So I offered him lift to his home.
He divulged the whole story in the cab, the story that the mother of the girl told him after he won her confidence.
The story goes like this. The girl and the family believe that they are very modern, so much modern that the parents allowed her to do anything in their home. So she had all her boyfriends coming to their home and staying in her separate room for hours and sometimes in closed doors without anyone bothering to see what’s going on inside. It was but natural that the girl became involved in many sexual partners and got habituated in sexual interactions multiple times a day. She did have a steady boyfriend (who belonged to a very rich family) at that early age.
Sex, multiple sex partners and multiple intercourses every day changed the girl’s psyche for good and she became a sex addict at the early age 12. All these years her parents allowed her to have uninhibited sex with boys in their home under their nose and that turned her into a maniac. Added to this was the beauty that attracted many boys to her and given easy access to sex in a protected homely atmosphere turned her into a nymphomaniac.
Sensing danger from her behavior her first boyfriend fled and needless to mention that her family is now after that boy and he has got all suitable criminal cases including rape against him. After that old lover left, she did not take any time to find another new boyfriend (this is the final yr. Engineering college lad).
This boy, the young protector fell for their story of how cruel the earlier boyfriend was and how he used to rape her every day in her home. He is not conditioned enough to ask the question what her parents have been doing for so many days. He is happy as he is getting free sex multiple times a day with a woman as beautiful as any leading film actress.
What this poor boy doesn’t know that this sexual overdose can kill him one day, if not he will be royally thrashed by the same family who calls him their son today once the girl is cured. He doesn’t know that it is only matter of time that he will also get all kinds of cases including rape and the same uncle/aunty will be after his life while he runs amok from pillar to post for justice.
A simple search on Wikipedia tells us that this mania which is also termed as hyper-sexuality and can be due to mental health problems like bipolar disorders.
According to experts, this label of Nymphomania would apply to a girl who shows the symptoms like –
- extreme amount of time spent in sexual activity
- using sexual activity in response to low mood or stress
- failed attempts to reduce the behavior
- Excessive masturbation, use of pornography, cybersex etc
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) of American Psychiatric Association (APA) includes this as Sexual Disorder—Not Otherwise Specified (Sexual Disorder NOS). The DSM-IV-TR notes that Sexual Disorder NOS would apply to, among other conditions –
“distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used”
On the causes of hyper-sexuality, some research suggests that it may be due to biochemical or psychological changes that accompany dementia. Biologists say that the frontal lobe in our head is responsible for controlling our sexual behavior. Any injury to this part of our brain can cause hyper-sexuality in us. Excessive hormonal disorders or exposure to certain drugs at an early stage or excessive dosage can also cause hyper-sexual behavior in us.
The reason I have explained hyper-sexuality in detail is to bring home the point that any person be a male or a female may be suffering from this disease which is a psychological disorder. However, our rape laws being gender biased when this girl had forced her boyfriends for sex multiple numbers of times daily that was never termed as rape. Rather the boy who had to flee the nymphomaniac for saving his life is running for his life now.
It is only a matter of time when her new boyfriend will also run for cover for raping this girl. No one will ever say that the problem was with the girl who was a nymphomaniac or with her parents who only for showing their modernity have allowed her to have multiple sexual partners or encouraged their daughter’s sexual activities from their home and ruined lives of many boys.
As a human being, we need to ask this question to our selves when we demand death penalty for the rapists who most of the time are found to be repeat offenders, have we ever considered rape as a psychological disorder? If yes, then how come we ask for death penalty for the repeat offenders rather than sending them for proper rehabilitation? If as a nation we demand death penalty for the rapists then why not we demand the same for such women and girls who are nymphomaniac? Can we ever demand death penalty for them or is there any court in India that will give them even minor punishment? When these cases come up in any court, invariably the decision will be to send the girl to rehabilitation rather than to judicial / police custody.
It is rather surprising that with a change of gender, rape becomes the most heinous crime or just a medical condition. And this can happen only in India where the urgent need of the hour is gender neutral rape laws. (read – Can we have a gender-neutral rape law in India).