Practically, he did not have any answer to my questions. So I asked him to do the following –
– Ask his sister to go through our blogs
– Ask his mother and sister to approach at least three different women’s NGOs for help
– Ask his mother and sister to organize protest rally and seek help from others
– Approach Women’s commission for help
– Approach Human Rights for help
– Write to all ministries about atrocities against them and seek help
– Ask help from friends, neighbors and well wishers
He was supposed to call me back after another one week with the results. He did –
– Hi Partha, it is me again.
– Hey how are you? How eventful was last week? – I was eager to know how many women came forward to help him.
– Yes, we met Mahila commission and Human rights – he said.
– Good, what was the response?
– Well, both these agencies said since it is subjudice they can’t do anything.
– What about Women NGOs?
– Well, they asked for money. – He was dejected
– What about friends, family members, relatives? – I asked
– They are not willing to come forward. They have just ignored. Advised me to settle this with money. All of them said they have kids, you know.
– Ok, so what about your mother and sister? They can still go on hunger strike right?
– Well, my mother is sick you know. Sister is studying so it is not possible..
– Hmm…so actually no one is willing to fight for you right?
His silence told me not to poke further. He had already realized the bitter truth of life. No matter what a man does for women around him, he can not expect help from them. Everyone loves his money. I have already shown him that his mother and sister can’t save him, even if they want because that is the society they all have created.
– Partha, I need help. He was on verge of breaking down.
These innocent, law abiding and peace loving citizens commit most number of suicides. They get the taste of their own creation silently. Gender bias and legal terrorism that they promote throughout their life by projecting one sided picture of violence against women, haunt them in their own life.
– So the people for whom you fought all these years, did not help you, but you have come to the people whom you have ridiculed all these years.
I did not want him to commit suicide, so did not add to his burns any more. But I asked –
– How are you feeling now?
– I feel terrible. I feel like committing suicide.
– And what you will achieve by that? Who will know? In fact as a result tomorrow your parents may also follow suit, what you will achieve by that?
– I do not know. It is unbearable Partha. I can’t take it anymore.
A protector failed to protect himself. Suddenly he finds, there is no one else except some people who he used to think as losers only can protect him.
– That is why I said, you need to be empowered first. I did not want to spoon-feed you, rather wanted to empower you in such a way so that you can help others tomorrow.
– But how? I need to be out of my cases first.
– Remember this, in future you and your family members should never project one sided women oppression stories. Always check all the news reports thoroughly, read judgments and always keep yourself updated with all legal reforms. Help others and get empowered. You will know what kind of cruelty others go through. Now let’s discuss your case.
The only idea of not giving him any easy tips was to make him realize the misandry that we all create everyday. If these victims are not told about misandry in the first possible instance, they will never realize the importance of fighters of men’s rights in their life. They get the easy solution that many of us learnt the hardest possible way and immediately lose respect for us. They get out of their cases and quickly get into the crowd. Only a few of us continue to fight hoping that tomorrow someone else will realize the pain, tomorrow we will get another true activist, but that tomorrow rarely comes and we lose many potential warriors.