Why Easy Solution To Your Problems May Not Be The Best Solution

Solution, Help, Men's Issues[..PREVIOUS]


Practically, he did not have any answer to my questions. So I asked him to do the following –

– Ask his sister to go through our blogs

– Ask his mother and sister to approach at least three different women’s NGOs for help

– Ask his mother and sister to organize protest rally and seek help from others

– Approach Women’s commission for help

– Approach Human Rights for help

– Write to all ministries about atrocities against them and seek help

– Ask help from friends, neighbours, and well-wishers

He was supposed to call me back after another week with the results. He did –

– Hi Partha, it is me again.

– Hey, how are you? How eventful was last week? – I was eager to know how many women came forward to help him.

– Yes, we met Mahila commission and Human rights – he said.

– Good, what was the response?

– Well, both these agencies said since it is subjudice they can’t do anything.

– What about Women NGOs?

– Well, they asked for money. – He was dejected

– What about friends, family members, relatives? – I asked

– They are not willing to come forward. They have just ignored. Advised me to settle this with money. All of them said they have kids, you know.

– Ok, so what about your mother and sister? They can still go on hunger strike right?

– Well, my mother is sick you know. Sister is studying so it is not possible..

– Hmm…so actually no one is willing to fight for you right?

His silence told me not to poke further. He had already realized the bitter truth of life. No matter what a man does for women around him, he can not expect help from them. Everyone loves his money. I have already shown him that his mother and sister can’t save him, even if they want because that is the society they all have created.

– Partha, I need help. He was on the verge of breaking down.

These innocent, law-abiding and peace-loving citizens commit the most number of suicides. They get the taste of their own creation silently. Gender bias and legal terrorism that they promote throughout their life by projecting a one-sided picture of violence against women, haunt them in their own life.

– So the people for whom you fought all these years, did not help you, but you have come to the people whom you have ridiculed all these years.

I did not want him to commit suicide, so did not add to his burns anymore. But I asked –

– How are you feeling now?

– I feel terrible. I feel like committing suicide.

– And what you will achieve by that? Who will know? In fact, as a result, tomorrow your parents may also follow suit, what you will achieve by that?

– I do not know. It is unbearable, Partha. I can’t take it anymore.

A protector failed to protect himself. Suddenly he finds, there is no one else except some people who he used to think as losers only can protect him.

– That is why I said, you need to be empowered first. I did not want to spoon-feed you, rather wanted to empower you in such a way so that you can help others tomorrow.

– But how? I need to be out of my cases first.

– Remember this, in future, you and your family members should never project one sided women oppression stories. Always check all the news reports thoroughly, read judgments and always keep yourself updated with all legal reforms. Help others and get empowered. You will know what kind of cruelty others go through. Now let’s discuss your case.

The only idea of not giving him any easy tips was to make him realize the misandry that we all create every day. If these victims are not told about misandry in the first possible instance, they will never realize the importance of fighters of men’s rights in their life. They get the easy solution that many of us learned the hardest possible way and immediately lose respect for us. They get out of their cases and quickly get into the crowd. Only a few of us continue to fight hoping that tomorrow someone else will realize the pain, tomorrow we will get another true activist, but that tomorrow rarely comes and we lose many potential warriors.


  1. Whether he will be a fighter or not, is the question you ask.
    My answer to that is basis my own experiences and the current stage that I am in – a stage where nothing is moving and I am sitting in something like an unending wait for the opposite party to initiate something. Nevertheless I continue to attend weekly meetings, participate in as many dharnas/protests as possible because over the past few months when I met more people and heard their stories, it not only helped me relieve myself of my pain but allowed me to deeply understand the flawed legal system and the blatant misuse of the same. And now, such feelings and the understanding make me participate.
    I, therefore guess that this fellow – the protagonist of your three part blog – needs to listen to stories of others and get a realization of the fact of the matter (I am not trying to say or claim to be fighter myself yet as my journey has recently begin and I am yet to test myself on the altar).

    Our own pain hurts but others’ pain helps us understand and realize


  2. I am Sif member from hyd. We have to create awareness in the society… Then only we can stop… This kind gender biased laws…

    Finally I wanted to add one thing (since you ask it’s not my intension.) why don’t we punish the ladies those who put fake 498a on their husbands(did not convicted) Make it published in media.
    Jus like Naxalites.


  3. I have a question….
    Do u guys warn men like these not to marry again? Do u warn any single man not to marry ever? Marriage is the reason why men get caught in this vicious system. We MGTOWs makes it our priority number one to warn both married and single men not to marry EVER!! Do u guys do the same?


    • I hear men say they are “going their own way”, and even though they say they intend to forsake marriage – most of them still pursue women for casual sex.

      In my mind, a man who is truly going his own way, not only forsakes marriage, but he also forsakes the sensual pleasures that women can provide. Now, although I do not claim to be a Men’s Rights Activist – I am the only true MTGOW (Man Going His Own Way) that I know (19 years and counting).

      Let it be known that I have no compassion for men who have lost their desire for brides and marriage, but continue to pursue women for sexual fulfillment. In this regard, these so-called MTGOW’s do not want to really part ways with women – when they are still depending on these women for casual sex.

      From what I have seen, the MTGOW movement, amongst other things, promotes fornication, sexual immorality, and social irresponsibility and for this reason I cannot allow myself to be associated with this movement.

      Can anyone tell me where I am wrong?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.