This is what will help you choose between patriarchy and feminism

Patriarchy

The feminist definition of patriarchy is a social or ideological construct that considers men as superior to women. Feminists challenge the concept where men are considered as the heads of the family and they say that this is the way how men control “women’s production, reproduction and sexuality”. They further blame that masculinity and femininity are actually two stereotypes imposed by patriarchy.

Let’s see how our society has become patriarchal in nature. In prehistoric ages when men and women were equal, men being the stronger gender found that they were better in hunting and in jobs that needed more strength. So they went hunting for bigger and wilder animals. Women on the other hand, found it better to stay indoors and engaged themselves in household work or hunting smaller animals, birds etc.

In those prehistoric days, human species found the merits of staying together in a group because that was needed to save their species from attacks of wild animals or other natural disasters or other human groups. So they started forming groups and setup their homes near other human beings. This system gradually developed the concepts of family, society and finally the kingdom or the state.

This is the system that developed some natural qualities in both the genders. Being in home and safe from the danger of wild animals, women got more time socializing with each other and became naturally better in socializing, debating and articulating themselves.

Men on the other hand had to go for hunting in groups and do life threatening jobs very often. So men developed skill of forming teams, following orders and became natural leaders. The job division thus happened in prehistoric ages where the male species became the naturally dominant gender, provider and protector for the female species. Women on the other hand became care givers and lovers for the family.

Anthropologist and world renowned Oxford scholar ‘Desmond Morris’ proved this in his scientific documentary series “The Human Sexes”. He also showed that there are some bodily features and humane characteristics developed in these two genders based on their social roles. For example, women being mothers developed an inherent stronger sense of smells, because mothers very often kept their babies with them and thus become familiar with their smell and identified their babies by smell. His experiment with modern day mothers showed that a pack of blindfolded mothers can identify their babies by their smell very easily and more accurately compared to the blindfolded fathers.

The above discussion shows that the gender roles were developed in the human world NOT by any conspiracy but simply by natural evolution. And because this was natural, this system has lived for ages. Men being the stronger sex and being the natural leaders (because of their need for hunting) became the dominant gender and became heads of the family and society became patriarchal. This is because we always accept the leadership of the strongest and bravest and not that of the weakest.

Feminism

Bhasin and Khan (1999 : 3) defined feminism as – “an awareness of patriarchal control, exploitation and oppression at the material and ideological levels of women’s labour, fertility and sexuality, in the family, at the place of work and in society in general, and conscious action by women and men to transform the present situation”.

The famous Seneca Falls Convention in 1848 started the feminist movement where they wanted equal voting rights for women in US and in UK. Around 1920 the same is granted to women in both the countries.

Apart from the voting rights some other rights sought in this first phase of feminism were equal legal rights and right to education. These feminists are referred to as Liberal Feminists who believed that once women get equal education the distinction between genders would become unimportant in social and political life. In 1970, Harriet Taylor in ‘Subjection of Women’ proposed that women should get citizenship and political rights and liberties enjoyed by men. In one sense Liberal Feminists were reformists who didn’t want to challenge the basic patriarchal structure of the society but wanted equal rights.

Radical Feminists opposed the above approach and challenged the ‘Mystique of Motherhood’ (Heywood 2003: 254) and the basic structure of the society and thus born a second wave of feminism. These feminists argued that above changes can’t change women’s position in society as these measures don’t address the problem that they have termed as –“Socially Structured Inequalities” (Mandell, 1995). These feminists believed that only political and legal rights were insufficient to change women’s subordination. Feminist ideas and arguments have become radical and revolutionary thereafter.

Radical Feminists say that the ideology of motherhood subjugates women and perpetuates patriarchy. This not only forces women to be the mothers but also determines the conditions of their motherhood (Bhasin, 199:8). So they believe that motherhood is socially imposed rather than biological in nature.

For radical feminists sexual relations are political acts, emblematic of male / female power relation. They believe that Family is a place where women get maximum exploitation. They say that the ‘public-private divide’ in a family system legitimizes exploitation of women. Radical feminists believe that unless sexuality is reconceived and reconstructed only for women, they will continue to remain suppressed by men.

Marxist Feminists believe that with development of private property concept is responsible for division of classes and subordination of women in our society. They say that the concept of capitalism based on private property concept defeated the female gender based on private property ownership by men. This completely did away with private property ownership through the female line of ownership.

Socialist Feminists believed that only equal political and legal opportunities will not resolve the issue of inequality. To them child bearing and child rearing issues are cultural rather than biological. They claim to transform the society such that the social classifications like class, gender, sexuality and race no longer acts as barrier to share in equal resources. This class of feminists believes that appropriation and commoditization of women’s sexual and reproductive capacity by men lies in the concept of Private Property, institutionalization of slavery, women’s sexual subordination and economic dependency on men.

This group of feminists believes that women confinement to domestic sphere serves economic interests of capitalism. They argue that because women liberate men from domestic duties and child rearing duties men can perform paid work. And hence they say that patriarchal division of labour within the family confines women only to unpaid and unvalued domestic work while the man gets the free time to work outside their home and get paid by the capitalist world.

There are some different types of feminists that emerged since 1980. Let’s take a look at their agenda –
Psychoanalytical Feminists believe biological factors are not responsible for construction of sexual difference. So they want to explore the hidden dynamics at work to display our sexuality. Freudian psychoanalysts describe women oppression in patriarchy as a process. Feminists like Dorothy Dinnerstein and Nancy Chodorow say that based on the concept ‘object – relation theory’ exclusive female mothering is the cause of gender inequality (Mandell, 1995: 20).

Eco Feminists like Vandana Shiva says that in certain aspects women are superior to men and men can never develop these skills. She said that ecological destruction and capitalist growth are patriarchal projects (Vandana Shiva, “Colonialism and the evolution of masculinist forestry” 1991).

Difference Feminists believe that there is a basic difference between the two genders and these lead to biological differences

Postmodern Feminists claim that female identity can be reconstructed and deconstructed and there is no fixed identity.

Black Feminists prioritized the differences based on colour and race and claim that women in colour are more oppressed. They criticize all other feminists for their ignorance of race in feminism agenda.

Lesbian Feminists advocate creation of a world through the attachment women have for each other. They promote lesbianism as more than personal decision but an outward sign of rejection of patriarchal sexuality imposed on women. They want to redefine social cultures created by patriarchy and create women centered cultures.

Feminism on Patriarchy

Feminists challenge the patriarchal family system (joint family system in India) or kinship system (prevailing in South Asia) and say this system was constituted by a group of people related in male members where girls are seen as ‘paraya dhan’. (Maine in Uberoi 2005)

Feminists like Gerda Lerner says family system reinforces male supremacy in every sphere of life upto the state level where boys learn to be dominating and aggressive and girls learn to be loving, caring and submissive. They say it is because of this gender stereotype women are subjected and also prone to more violence.

Some theorists believe that patriarchy imposes inferiority on women by projecting ever sacrificing, self-effacing image of women who is a faithful wife and devout mother (Desai and Krishnaraj, 2004). Laws of Manu says – that since women are by their nature disloyal, they should be made dependent on men and the man need to be worshipped as god. They believe that pre-vedic era women were free of any bias and were treated equally but more restrictions came in through different patriarchal systems imposed on femininity in post-vedic (Brhaminical and Medieval) era.

They say that all major religions suppress femininity and promotes patriarchy by different customs be it Parda, Hijab, or by separating public and private space. They say women need to have sole decision about their pregnancy and termination of the same. Male dominated institutions like the church and the state impose laws and restrictions where a man controls all these decisions for women.

Feminists like Uma Chakravarthi, Gerda Lerner and others challenge the idealization of chastity and wife fidelity as highest duty of women and believe that family, religion, class, caste, community, tribe and state are all designed to suppress female sexuality and should be broken free.

Patriarchy or Feminism

Conclusion

From the above discussion we have seen how the two systems have evolved and tried to understand the concepts in depth. We have seen that even though the development of patriarchal society was not for oppressing the women but simply by natural choice designed for survival of the human species. Human species came together and started forming groups because they wanted to safeguard themselves from the wild animal attack and the attack of the natural disasters. Men took up the natural role of provider and protector as they evolved as the best gender for the same. Our hormonal balance and body construct is made this way by the nature to behave in this way and there is absolutely no conspiracy behind the same. However, some form of political and oppression theories projected by the feminists (parda pratha, domestication of women etc) are already broken free in most of the societies.

If women in a normal Indian household engage in household work, there are many men who contribute in positive way as well. Feminists have an issue in having any duty set for the women, however men DO NOT show any issue in sharing those responsibilities with their women. Many modern households have seen fathers raising their children or cooking for the two when the wife goes to work. Some men do that even when their wife is not working in the capitalist world. In fact most modern and educated man in India wants their wife to be engaged in some work for the capitalist world so that she can contribute financially to the family. However, in recent times in India we have seen that it is the women’s groups who demanded alimony to be a right for women and wanted to make women dependant on men.

The feminists views regarding pregnancy and especially terminating the same as the sole decision of the mother is also not acceptable as it is related to survival of the human race. I hope even feminists themselves will be thankful to their mothers for not terminating them in her womb as a right of the mother. Modern day ultra feminists have raised demand of not feeding their male child and only nurturing the female babies. These radical theories will only create immense gender imbalance in the society.

Feminists views on family being an oppressing system for women is scary for many as this is the biggest strength the human race has. We have formed families because we wanted to safeguard ourselves from the dangerous outside world and have that bonding keep us going even in difficult times. However, we have seen that in recent times our family system is attacked by feminists in designing different family breaking laws and promoting divorces in the name of unshackling the womenhood from patriarchy. This will create immensely selfish and fragmented world with high rate of corruption and crime.

In order to make women sexually free, feminists are opposing the theories of monogamy and promoting polygamy instead. It is basically the concept of ‘My Body My Choice’ and ‘I decide who will penetrate the same and when’. This is in a way promoting and legalizing prostitution and adultery. We have already seen steps taken by many feminist groups in that direction. In India National Commission for Women (NCW) has made adultery a non punishable offence for women. Recently many women’s groups are advocating to make this non criminal for men as well. In Bangaldesh too, a feminist groups are demanding Adultery to be legal for women. This is another proposition by feminists which will surely lead to rampant prostitution in the society.

Patriarchy or Feminism

If prostitution becomes legal then I am sure even the hardcore feminists will not like a situation when a mother tells her children that – ‘Beta I am now sleeping with another uncle you please take care of yourself for today’..or no one will like their own daughter going next door and ‘asking for sex’ (like they do today asking for milk, or newspaper or may be sugar). I am sure, no son would have respected their mother if she had abandoned him in his childhood or left him to the street dogs to feed him breast-milk or outsourced that job to a father.

Whereas some forms of rules set by the so called patriarchal society may be oppressing in nature for women but many of the changes demanded by feminists are not only dangerous for individuals but to the human race as a whole. We have seen that how in situations of natural disaster feminism takes a back seat and only men brave-hearts are pushed to die. This was evident in Uttarakhand recently. We have also seen that for ages men have done the most dangerous jobs or died in wars. Men have not only made this world a better and safer place for women to live in but also protected and nourished them. On the other hand feminism only criticized men for everything they have today. If women were made to stay indoors that was for their own safety, if prostitution was prevented that was only to create a better world where every child has the necessary protection, love and affection of both the parents and grow up as better and stronger individuals.

As an educated and self respecting person it is your turn to decide what you want – Patriarchy or Feminism. It is you to understand the negativity that is brought in by the feminism. If you understand the dangers of feminism now please don’t contribute to any feminist propaganda, do not share or fuel any of those so called women oppression theories and do not directly or indirectly fund them. Above all, do not think patriarchy is all bad. Because when the human race is in danger, these empowered women will not come forward to save us and will continue to blame the same men who save them.


References

1.Desmond Morris, Oxford University, The Human Sexes, Documentary for Discovery network
2.Bhasin, Kamla, What is Patriarchy?, Kali for Women, New Delhi, 1993.
3.Bhasin, Kamla, Understanding Gender, Women Unlimited, New Delhi, 2003.
4.Suranjitha Ray, Understanding Patriarchy, Delhi University

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11 thoughts on “This is what will help you choose between patriarchy and feminism

  1. Good article partha. Very well written. But I have to raise one point. Feminists are not for legalizing prostitution, they say “My body, my right” but it is not applicable for prostitution or any women who uses her body to get money. No woman should use her body to get money or no man should use money to get those services.

    Women who exposes in movies are opposed, women in the prostitution opposed. The reason behind this is very simple. These services given by some women challenges their superiority. Sex is used as a weapon. Giving sex is a power they have. The sex-worker simply disarm them from that weapon and takes that power away from them.

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      1. I’m a prostitute and I’ve never been good friends with feminism.
        Although there is a division between sex-negative and sex-positive (what a silly terms) feminism, even those ‘sex-positive’ feminists are doubting that prostitutes have any power to disharm a lusty man. Yes, our bodies, my rights. Except when it’s men watching and enjoying us.
        BTW, you have a very interesting blog 😉

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  2. I appreciate what you’ve written here. But i feel that each one of us develop a sort of thinking that suits us , maybe coz’ of the environment around or perhaps due to experiences we’ve had and that is why whether it is feminism or patriarchy (as it was meant to be or how it turned out to be ) i can and will never generalize. I feel people today have gone so intolerant towards any other school of thinking than their own, that the moment they hear a word in favour of another movement they rile up…and that’s not really required. People gotta be a lot more evolved in the way they think since whatever they think cannot be imposed on others.

    As for you posts, as an objective reader, i will admit that yes certain aspects make sense to me . They surely do. And the aspects that don’t can be dealt by you and me in our own ways coz’ in the end, every single individual has the right to think, speak and feel the way he/ she wants to unless of course that thinking encroaches on another being’s space .

    More than anything else , i feel its always about respecting differences. Not discarding them 🙂 A man and a woman are not alike. They are made different in every way. Neither is a man better than a woman nor is a woman better than a man. THey are Different and i guess thats okai .We’ve got to stay together , respect differences, celebrate differences . This ‘war of the sexes’ concept is obsolete. I’m a very neutral person and for me an individual man or a woman cannot be good/bad, for me its a human being turning good/bad. And yes both the genders have issues to be addressed , issues that are really really important but i feel solutions don’t come up competing that too just for the sake of it. We’ve gotta have a systematic dialogue 🙂

    Its 2014. We are not living in the dark ages anymore. So for every single individual out there having issues, stand up for it. Stop expecting the world to pave that way for you, and here i include both men and women. The world doesn’t function that way. As for me , i’m a proud feminist , and i can proudly say i do not hate men coz’ hating the entire ‘type’ just coz ;’some’ of them don’t have their craft right isn’t justified. I’m better than that. And i’m sure a lot of people with a good independent rationale think that way. For those who want to remain conservative and don’t want to be more liberal in the way they think, too bad coz’ even nature supports evolution for only those members of a species who ‘adapt’.. Those who won’t adapt, will live and die in oblivion.

    For u i have to say, we might not be on the same page, guess thats but i still like the way you write . I really do. So keep writing and i’m definitely reading every post by you since your posts are those of an evolved, exposed mind..not that of a dogmatic and foolish mind. Keep the good work.

    Cheers 🙂

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    1. haha..so you have removed my comment as it was negative…LOl…if you are right have guts to allow negative comments. If you are right, ppl will support you irrespective of what you are supporting. When you don’t allow criticism on your blog how do the people get a complete picture. You are a queen in a self proclaimed world..

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      1. Queen that too self proclaimed HILARIOUS .. no buddy worked really hard to get where i am in life so queen ..naaaaaaah.. Successful yes.

        Din’t know ull rile up reading my comment. I thought i was pretty polite .But u smhow took offence. As fr not putting ur comment , wanted to approve it the end so i can hv a discussion on my blog openly but since u already judged me on that , lets chuck it.

        Wsn’t that big a deal. Had i an issue with u wud hv not evn cared to reply bk. So dnt know where u got that idea. ? Actually i guess, that first response i gave u on ur blog with me suggesting u to read my post ..thats whr u went wrong coz that very moment u shud hv made it clear that akriti, any post related to feminism means squat to me so dnt evn dare suggesting me that. i wud hv stopped rt then but u since told me that , i got the wrong notion that u r really open to read n understand my perspective , which clearly din’t happen..As fr criticism always welcome, but atleast criticize wen u read n understand wat m trying to imply. Anyway no point now.this is moot. Din’t mean to offend u so much that u start despising me only and that too fr no reason.
        Apologies for me suggesting to read my stuff. Din’t know u hv real issues with that. Not that my telling u anything will matter coz as per u im a self proclaimed queen..hilarious everytym i mention that..jokes apart , i felt ur blog makes sense cz thr is a lot of research there..which is fine but where’s ur own take on things..i feel blogging is about ur own take on things..not just pasting stuff ..we might read just books then. Anyway u can kindly trash, evn spam all my comments…Shun’t be on ur blog..shud be more women hating comments..trust me..i just thought u were objective..buy u clearly hv biases, hence ur offence . and ur reaction…I hope we never interact again .. i was really wanting to read more of ur stuff but since that hate is so visible , shud drop that idea.. Coz its always more easy to talk to ppl without biases..
        U take care..n lets just stop this thing now..not worth it.
        Keep writing .

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  3. P.S. You found my blog without substance. Thats your take pal. I put in a lot of depth in it . You might have found it useless coz’ of the mention of the word Feminist. And since that bothers u, it might hv been an issue. But i know that what i implied there was pretty rational. And i can vouch for the fact what i wrote didn’t hold true in 1960s..it holds true now more than ever. Maybe that is why a lot of men themselves have turn feminists. And i say all that coz’ i’ve worked extensively on the ground for bot men and women rights . So i know exactly what the ground reality is. Anyway was good interacting with you. t.c.

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