“We have always protested dowry and demanded punishment for dowry takers…we have always championed all women’s causes..even after recent Delhi incident we have vehemently protested and demanded stricter laws. Believe me, we have always respected women no matter who they are, today we are termed as dowry harasser by my wife. My septuagenarian paralyzed father is termed as her molester and I who always loved my kids the most is termed as a child abuser. Please help me, friend. I swear we have never done any of these, I love my kids the most…please believe me..”
This was his earnest request to me. He was pleading innocence and wanted me to trust him as no one else believes him today. His own feminist friends have turned against his family and snapped all connections. Today, they don’t talk to them, not because all of them believe they are the abusers, most of them think they will be dragged into dowry controversy by the estranged wife and unnecessarily ruin their own personal lives.
Some of his feminist friends with whom his parents have always fought for women’s rights, demanded cruel punishments for men based on one-sided information, have abused his paralyzed old father too.
Today his old parents don’t find any meaning in living in this world. Anyway, their days are numbered. His father attempted to commit suicide once but was prevented at the last moment by his mother. But he can’t guarantee that he will not try again. He can’t guarantee that even he will not take the same route. Let his wife and kids enjoy all the property he and his ancestors have earned/accumulated over the years, for this family the most important thing is having their dignity back. And that seems to be impossible now.
“Beta his father can’t talk properly due to paralysis” – his mother said. I can’t believe we have chosen this bahu for our son. There is no point in living for us.
-So all of you have championed women causes all these years?
-Yes, beta. Believe us..we always wanted strict punishments for men beating or harassing women for dowry on anything else. We have also protested for strict punishment in Delhi case..we are not abusers….his mother continued
-Ok, that’s great!!..what did you do for Manoj Kumar? Or Lokesh?
-Lokesh? Manoj Kumar? Who are they?…pat came the reply
-They are martyrs of marriage. Committed suicide due to harassment by the wife.
-Oh..we didn’t know about them. Even we want to commit suicide, what’s the point in living now?
-And what will you achieve by that? No one else will even know that. Even worse, people will think you were the abusers who got caught.
-I don’t know what you are saying beta..his mother said.
-“There is no point in committing suicide”..no one notices husband or families committing suicide ..unless they can term something as “Dowry Death”..I added.
-Yes, I know that is a greater evil. So many women are burnt to death every year. But we have never done anything like that..
-Who told you that women are “burnt to death?”
-That is what you said – Dowry death. This time the man replied..
-No wonder why your family is in the soup now. Dowry death is any unnatural death that occurs within seven years of marriage. It may be suicide too..It is not ‘Bride Burning”
-But how does it matter to us..we want your help in our case. His mother was saddened to see unnecessary topics being discussed.
-But how can I help mam? I am not a judge or a police officer who has authority. I can only guide you in bad times. Still, the last words remain with the courts. You need to convince them.
-Where do we go beta? No one wants to trust us.
-You wanted those cruel punishments right. You as young woman demanded all women rights. You projected dowry as the biggest problem of India, why are you afraid of facing the Frankenstein that you have created?
None of them has an answer to my questions. They wanted my help…the last thing they expected was scolding in return. There was silence for five minutes. But I didn’t want to hide my irritation from them.
-So you will not be able to help?
-I only want you to understand the dangers of misandry that you have projected all these years. You will not be able to undo the evil that people like you have created. That is why we tell everyone to stop spreading misandry. To stop believing one-sided feminist stories and to stop delivering quick justice based on the first information.
-What do you suggest?
-How can you fight the Frankenstein now? Can you all fight against feminism now?
-Beta, we are frail people. Can’t even walk properly, how can we..?
-But you didn’t mind your age after Delhi incidence…
-But that was cruel..
-Yes..but that was political as well. Then why didn’t you protest the murder of the man who was cut into pieces on the same day by his wife.
-We didn’t know.
-And that is because people like you are always interested in rape news. News of bride burning. You are never bothered when a man is killed by his wife. Why should media report this news at all?
-But how does it matter in our case.
-And all of you are only bothered about your innocence..your own case..what about all other innocent men who are suffering because of feminists like you..or rather foolishness of people like you. Do you know there are more than 62000 married men commit suicide every year compared to 31000 odd married women?
-No. but how does it matter?
-That is because you wanted to know only about suicide by women…if you have not bothered about sufferings of other men and families, how do you think anyone else will bother about you.
-But that is what you guys do.
-And ..that is not enough. We need support from the society that comprises people like you to stop spreading misandry in any form, stop believing that men are always criminals and women are saints. Stop believing that men do not need respect and only women need respect..only then innocent people like you can expect justice.
-So it is in our hand that we get justice.
-Yes. Expose feminist male haters and one-sided lies propagated by them and demand gender justice. You will get justice…
The last thing I wanted in my MRA life was to help a feminist who is constantly promoting that male hatred. They, in a way, try to promote that my gender decides my criminal behaviour. But in this case, if I refused to help or listen to them, we would have seen another family committing suicide; even worse, that would have been termed as farmer suicide by feminist groups. So, I had to help them. After all, as a Men’s Rights Activist, I can’t be like feminists. I am a human being first…who cares for other humans.