I was a little busy when my mobile rang. I was preparing for a rally in Bangalore. There was one guy who had to commit suicide recently due to cruelty by his wife and her mother. He was survived by his son.
The caller was from Noida, I don’t know him personally but in our world personal relations really don’t matter. It is only the unknown and unrelated people came to my help ever since I got into legal tangles. Known people except my own family members have gone away. Some have stopped recognizing me too.
When Ramesh (name changed) called me, he could utter only two words, “Partha help!!” He started crying over the phone.
I was silent as didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know who was calling but I was sure he knew me. I get many such calls and I talk to them for hours if needed. After all this much mental support I can give for free. I remember when I was in trouble someone else helped me that way, for free, without even bothering about my identity. Today I don’t even know his name.
Ramesh stopped crying after 10 minutes, I asked him his details. What he revealed slowly was heartbreaking. Tears came running out of my eyes even without my knowledge. He is another Manoj Kumar in the making. He is pushed to commit suicide every moment by the parasite of his life, who he married out of love and boasted to the society about their affair.
Ramesh met Promila on a social networking site when both were doing MSC and working on a similar project. They used to discuss their project details and gradually started meeting in person. She started sharing her personal details with him and told him how oppressed she was in her house. How badly her father treated herself and her mother and how much she hated him.
As a young protector, Ramesh fell for her almost instantly as any young guy would do. After all protecting women is in genes of our men and boys. He was happy that he could give new life to a woman who would take his life to new heights. His friends used to say they were made for each other. Many envied their chemistry.
Ramesh got married in 2010 and was happy for first two years. After marriage, he got her into his own company as she left her previous job due to some tiff with her colleagues there. Ramesh thought that was only office politics.
He recommended her to his manager for a vacancy in his own company. After all, he thought it would be good to work in the same company. They would adjust their schedules based on each other’s convenience.
However, this life was not sustained. Soon she started fighting with all others in her company and everyone else became her enemy in office. Ramesh who was a star performer in his organization was also looked down upon by his colleagues as he has brought in this girl, who thinks for all the misery in her life everyone else is responsible.
By this time Ramesh started realizing that her father was actually a dumb spectator in all their family matter while her mother took all decisions. They pressurized him to take a flat of his own. He bought 35 lakh worth of property in Noida in joint name with only 3 lakh contribution from his wife.
In the meantime, his wife left the job as she could not match the expectations and became a housewife. Ramesh was very glad thinking she would take care of their home well and take care of all duties of a homemaker.
But as soon as she left her job, she became more irritable, started fighting with him for no reasons. She started beating him up, abusing him as well as his parents.
His elders suggested it could be for a child and since she was a homemaker (?) by now, they decided to go for a child. In 2012 she became pregnant and in February 2013 she delivered a baby girl. Let’s say her name is Preetha.
When she got pregnant, Ramesh and his family members thought abuses on them will stop as she will get busy with the child. But after the delivery of the baby, she became even more violent. The frequency of her beating the husband increased, sometimes she started biting him and grievously attacking him. He tried to seek help from her parents but only got abuses in return. Her mother always reminded him how influential she is with links to powerful IAS and IPS officers and only knew how to intimidate and abuse others.
Ramesh, being completely helpless, started recording some of the abuses and video recording some incidents of her beating him. He went to govt. doctors every time he was seriously injured by her and took medicines. But unfortunately for him, Promila came to know that he was recording these incidents and one day she has thrown the mobile into the water, destroying the device. He has instantly lost all his evidence of domestic violence and also exposed himself to greater danger, his own life threat.
Now Promila and her mother became more abusive. She started reacting even to his love advances. They didn’t have sex for more than one year ever since she became pregnant, nowadays he stopped thinking about sex altogether. Having sex with such a girl may lead to another “Bobbit” in India.
Today she broke the expensive gift Ramesh’s brother has brought from overseas. Ramesh doesn’t know why she reacts so violently even when she is given gifts. But breaking the gift was not enough, she attacked Ramesh with a knife and hurt him grievously. She threatened him to kill their daughter as she (Preetha) looks like Ramesh, and Promila hates Ramesh and anything related to him.
She went shopping when Ramesh called me. He was still bleeding but that is his regular ordeal nowadays. He doesn’t care about these injuries anymore. He just wants to come out of this relation.
I had to tell him that he has to forget his child as the child will naturally go to her mother. He started crying inconsolably, please save me, please save my baby. I don’t want her to die. Her mother will kill her too.
I couldn’t give an instant remedy. My remedy will work only in the long-term that too Ramesh will have to forget a lot of atrocities happened to him. He has to forget his own child and most probably forget his own property too. But he doesn’t bother about his property anymore. He wants to give away the 35 lakh worth property to his wife without her contribution but he wants to come out of it.
I don’t know why women nowadays are becoming very cruel especially after marriage or after delivery of their baby. They very often refuse to have sex after the birth of their first child. Recent medical studies show Indian women are reaching their menopause in their 20s now. Is this responsible for this behaviour? I don’t know. I only know one Manoj Kumar called me before taking the extreme step that Manoj from Bangalore has taken.
I don’t know if I could save one life today but I only know I could show him the way that will probably give him the courage to live a few more days. Maybe he will not live for his own self but he will only live for his daughter. That little girl doesn’t even know that the most precious relationship in her life was supposed to be her mother, but the same mother wants to kill her simply because she looks like her father. She doesn’t know her empowered mother is so much empowered that her father can’t even save the little girl from impending danger and take immediate steps.
I have no words to explain this cruelty. Hope feminists are listening.
What the F***
Almost my story
Should we brush away this story just because its happening in all houses ?
Why shouldnt we have a domestic violence shelter for men ? Lets Ask in writing – let them say it will be misused.
Rajesh, feel free to send this blog to diff authorities and ask about it. Since it is my blog I will not be able to raise these questions with authorities.
This is all the boon or should i say the curse of the so called womens liberation. a woman who is supposed to be a home maker is today becoming a home breaker. from being a creator she is turning into a destroyer. and to top it all the law supports her in every single way. we have to make people aware of all thats happening today. the general preception of society is that a man cannot be harassed or abused in a relationship,society and law cannot accept that men need help too in the form of laws to protect them. hope the government and society sees sense or else this senseless loss of life will continue.
Over dramatic story. Even I fend calls from victims, But the reality is that no one can abuse you without your permission. And this view is gender neutral.
He was resisting earlier but stopped doing that as that is not helping him. The abuses are not decreasing. Now to end the violence, violence is only other solution as he can’t go out of this relation and file criminal cases against her. She can kill their daughter. So whatever this man does now he needs to be careful from all aspects. Solution I have proposed will help him but who gives gurantee for these four months…
Absolutely true Sanjay. No one can abuse you without your permission. But then who raises the hand first gets the other one off guard and hence before you get into gender neutrality, you are hit, you are abused, you are bruised. Now please tell me again if you feel that no one can abuse you without your permissions. With a knife pointed to your child, let me see how many times you are able to give “no hitting me” gyaan.
No offence but Sanjay can only learn a lesson when he fits into Ramesh’s shoes.
Same old Indian men mentality that a man can’t be abused!
Shows traits of BPD…
[…] to their own children. They want to kill their own children either as a right or because of their hatred for the father of the child. I see fathers like Syed Makdoom committing suicide because they were […]