These Are 7 Ways Your Life Will Be Affected Post Nirbhaya

7 Ways Nirbhaya

On December 18, 2012, India has seen how an exaggerated crime can fuel extreme mob mentality in the country that can take the life of one innocent person.

Well, the incident in Delhi is indeed shocking and need to be dealt with strong hands but what is more shocking is to learn that the nation did not even understand the extreme hype created by the media and some hooligans. We know how media only focuses on even small protests and makes it big, and protesters seeing media coverage become more aggressive, media start more coverage and the cycle continues. As a result, the protest snowballed into a mass hooliganism.

We have also observed that for next five / six days how a section of media only focused on rape cases and some TV journalists started claiming eve teasing on camera. Well, none of us understood actually what did those guys say or whether they were from the media house itself just to create a sensational news. Especially when we know how the Guwahati rape case was fueled by a journalist to create such a news.

Based on this one single incident women’s groups demanded an amendment to all laws made for women, including 498a and DVA and some laws in the making like SHWB.

Let’s look at the amendments sought in the various legal provisions based on this single incident –

  1. 498a – In 2010, SC has termed this as ‘Legal Extortion’ as 98% such cases turns out to be false. Many families of men have either committed suicide or gone bankrupt fighting such cases and undergone extreme coercion by young women. Death penalty demanded for this crime as an amendment from current 3 years imprisonment.
  2. Domestic Violence Act – The main two legal recourse given to women in this is uncontested maintenance and right to live in a shared household. Husbands are asked to maintain even the most abusive and adulterous wife and many have lost their own house because the wife got the residential rights and the actual owners (including aged parents and others) were given restraint order. So the rightful owners were thrown out of their own house simply on a complaint. A woman’s false affidavit is considered more powerful than the evidence submitted by the husband. Coupled with this there are many other extreme facilities provided to women under this act and people undergoing this case know how difficult it is to face this humiliation. Based on Delhi incident Death penalty demanded in these cases too.

  3. ‘Rape’ laws were sought to be termed as ‘Sexual Assault’ henceforth, encompassing many other crimes including different forms of harassment. It was India’s unanimous decision (or should I say hypnotized India’s decision) to reward Death Penalty for these accused, too.

  4. ‘Consent Clause’ which is a major defense for a rape accused is demanded to be eased out so that a victim can decide whether she has consented even at a later stage. “Merely submitting to an urge is not enough to prove the innocence of the accused” – Well in simple terms it means any woman can sleep with a man and later term that as a rape. This is how Live-in relations are termed as rape in India today.

  5. It was raised that all rape Victims to get Rs. 2 lakh compensation. Well, if you have thought it will be given only after the case is proven, you are wrong. It has to be given on filing the complaint. I don’t need to say that now this financial incentive will encourage more women to file such criminal cases. In absence of any punishment for the false accuser, such cases are sure to increase. So if you have ever thought that one needs to commit a crime to be accused, you are wrong. Already DV ACT has proven to be a silent killer to many.

  6. The sixth demand is to pass Sexual Harassment at Workplace bill without any amendment. So under this bill, any woman in any working relationship can accuse a man of harassment and the man has to pay her 50% of his salary, while the investigation goes on. Organizations are asked to set up a committee consisting of at least 50% women employees and with people experienced in working on women related issues. If an organization doesn’t have such employees, they will have to recruit such women from outside women’s NGOs under their payroll. These women will not work for the company but will only work on harassment related issues and advise women employees for filing such cases. India is sure to experience a higher rate of filing workplace harassment cases, with this being kept outside the purview of RTI and the accused not given an opportunity to appeal at a higher court this will surely deny justice for men even at the workplace.

  7. Last but most important, Marital rape is to be made punishable offense. Now an intercourse during separation period can be termed as marital rape and is punishable up to 2 years; but under the changed situation, if a woman thinks of any act as rape, she can file a complaint against her husband. Nowadays, women file false 498a and DV cases with many other cases of divorce. So under the changed condition, the wife will also file false rape case (husbands get ready for another bonus case on your divorce). Since India has already demanded death penalty for the rapists, all those Indians need to be ready to be hanged under ‘marital rape’ as well.

We have already seen that under various sections dealing with crimes against women, how false affidavits are given more weight than any evidence the husband produces. In most of the cases, husbands are made to pay fine, alimony and maintenance to their wife even if the wife is wrong. That is how we see even the most abusive and adulterous wife get husband’s money, property and still claim victimhood. Many husbands commit suicide as they don’t see any justice for them. They lose their job, lose parents, proclaimed as criminals but still maintain their wife. A husband even on his job loss is asked to maintain his adulterous wife and her illicit children and on not obeying the order, the man is sent to jail, his property is sealed by the court.

We already have a miserable state of affairs for Indian husbands under all these family laws, yet the recent demand of the nation to make the provisions even stringent will only make life impossible for men in the country. Women will file criminal cases now just to settle scores with other men and men will be vulnerable to legal extortion everywhere at all ages. They will not have any option but to run away from women, in order to save their lives.

Women will also not be spared. With less number of marriages, everyone will be more lonely and will not find a match easily (or maybe ever).

Overall we will have a nation with screwed up relations, lonely frustrated people, increased drug abuse, increased crime rates and a situation like a civil war.

Congratulations India! You have just ensured your own death sentence!!


  1. Do not worry my dear friends. Already most of the small company stopped taking women. What ever they are doing is not for the good or benefit the women. After some time Men only work at home and women has to slog to run the family or you can only find Men working Abroad or in some hotel industry , women did not like to work.Indian boys stop marrying to Indian girls. And try to marry Western or some Poor country girls. And even men fear to talk to the lady. Which already happening . Before more women are just used to relax after 9.30 once husband or brother goes to work. Now it will be our turn we just relax at home watching every match enjoying free and secured life which women used to enjoy in 40 years back. Previously women used to support the men doing odd jobs . Now we support women doing odd jobs at home. earn little pocket money collect the children from the school wash clothes and do some cooking. We can also utilize our free time in going to library or sitting in net making new friends. Even we can enjoy the evening walk , which was missed , because we never come home in time. Have a nice sleep in the after noon , do some innovative thinking. Having good food in time increase our health and stamina. I am very positive with this development. Let these day’s come very fast. Most of the men are suffering only few men enjoying this life. The Man who doesn’t have family responsibility are after the girls. Lot of men not even have time to think about their own wives. Because they are taking all the responsibility of the family.


  2. The way in case of 498A the word relative misused left right and center in such cases in the name of gang rape, all name will be put as matter of routine in the name of “Gange”, let you stay in USA, UK or outside Delhi. Got arrested, loos job and run from pillar to post.


  3. I think its time for us to migrate to a better country. Even feminist countries like UK and US are not as bad in terms of men’s rights. Men have the option of staying at home there…here, men have to slog and provide women and yet women get reservation in jobs. Look at the contradiction.


  4. So your enlightened suggestion is that we should sit on our asses while the animals on the street continue to dishonor and torture us? False imprisonments and false charges happen to everything, including murder, so you suggest we take them down as well? Lets all live in a “survival of the fittest situation” right?

    Most of all, I don’t understand why you’re so worried about what increased rape/sexual harassments would do to men? Is it because the regular man should have his right to pass a comment on the fellow woman employee, since that is his birthright.. isnt it? Or why should a woman cry “domestic rape”? Her husband owns her after all right?

    I cant even type the limit of chauvinism you have shown in this post. You are the perfect stereotype we are fighting against.

    Or you just wanted to show some other view to be famous? Or just worried about your own ass. No matter what, people like you are the problem. Instead of focusing on the handful of false cases, try to visualize what it will do to the 700+ unsolved rape cases that happened in Delhi alone. Think about the 1000s of wives that are brutally raped by their own husbands and not always with his cherished object of pride and then come back and make the same statement.

    IF you are incapable of thinking that, then just STFU !


    • No. We need to ensure women’s safety but not by changing laws. Let it be by increased vigil on road, increased awareness or may be safety training for women is fine but not creating gender bias laws and strict punishment. I am ok with false charges but why no punishment for women? Lets have punishment for law misuse as well. Why are women afraid of that.

      I am worried how the increased rape stat is being created. When a woman is given extreme right to file any case based on false affidavit and after years of court fight, when the man is proven innocent the girl is not punished. But look at the man, he loses everything. His prestige, freinds and jobs. Most often he was sent to jail as well. Also on sexual harassment on workplace issue, feminists are creating a situation as if men in our global corporates are all sex starved monsters waiting to howl on women. If that is so lets have all gender neutral laws in the country so that whoever is the culprit gets punished. Why are women’s groups afraid of that?

      You said handful of false rape cases? Do you even know that NCRB data says, that 76% rapes filed in India are false. Mostly live-in relations and consensual sex termed as rape.

      Also you mentioned 1000s of wives being raped by their husbands. How do you know that? After I know your reply, I will write my reply.

      Liked by 1 person

      • And so does the Delhi Police. Haven’t you seen their criteria of deeming a case to be falsified?

        Also, I think what would be a actual solution to your infinite worries would be an actual law against false police reports which afaik is punishable, but you might want to campaign in favor of stricter laws for that.


        • Neha..did you see the videos there…girls wanted to have sex and still they cried rape. Don’t you think it is business. If sex becomes business today, it will be difficult for us to live tomorrow. If anyone wants to enjoy for one night so be it…but why implicating the innocent guy for that.

          I like can bring in your freinds as well…lets have a good discussion.

          Liked by 1 person

    • @neha,
      Rather than planning a proper exceution of existing laws see what has happened so far:

      1) The way they are showing urgency in drafting few more new laws, I am dead sure that they will end up creating another 498a/DV act and will repent later on when few more lakhs of cases got queued uo in courts.

      2) Governer of Delhi has ordered to police to take the complaint of any girl who comes to them without any hesitation and investigation. Delhi will witness a sharp rise of false complaints of rapes, domestic violence, eve-teasing.

      Who will be the end-suffered ?
      Innocent men !!!


    • STFU – (because I am a typical feminazi I will smother you)

      Feminist Mentality->
      You are supposed to pull my chair out.
      Hold the door open for me.
      Pay for lunch on first date.
      Be nice to me no matter what

      While treating me like equal.


      Liked by 1 person

      • Hah, I guess Sachin you’ve been burnt many times.
        STFU – Saner thoughts fail you 🙂

        Also I am hardly a feminist, I am jst a person with some common sense. And since you dont even have the faintest idea about me, why dont you keep your widely broad-minded ideas about women to yourself.

        Neither do I let a single person pull my chair, nor do I let them hold doors (unless they are paid to do so). Also, I earn and I pay my share, but I guess you are yet to meet a woman like that so I don’t take offence to that 🙂
        Its okay, May god give you an encounter to a woman like that soon 🙂


      • If you are not feminist…what is problem with making all the laws gender neutral?
        Why are Indian men deprived of equality granted in article 14 of constitution.

        If women don’t rape, what do they have to fear for?
        Why only a female should be allowed to allege rape after 1 yr of live-in?
        If a husband does not repair washing machine, he can face DV? But is there any law for husband, if his wife abuses him?

        Where is the equality? If anyone supports this is either a feminazi or misandrist to me.

        BTW, Saner thought fail you will be (STFY). I did not misinterpret. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

    • If you are so abusive, is better you must know respect come when you give other respect. What is the problem to accept gender netural law? If you think women do not rape men as per defination of rape, physical realtion without consent, first you must accept that instead of sitting in ass. If you do not respect men, do not expect respect from men also. Abusive women like you are real danger for society, they rape men as per thier will and they cry i had been raped etc. Your fantesey to kill the men and rape the men as your will is going to come true, just enjoy the same.


    • As per crime bure report about 70% found not guilty and more than 90% are mutual physical relation converted to r@pe cases. Please note to convect any person in rape cases, today there is no need of even medical reports or eye witness, her own statements is sufficient, means in those cases it is a accused proved himself innocent.

      When police can’t catch the real r@pist , send every tom,dick or harry as rapist in false and fabricated cases which is the main reason for less convection.

      Some recent news :
      stop the false and fabricated rape cases, along with fine need the jail terms as this should be termed as legal terrorism. Other wise the day is not too far when any ram, shyam, jadu or madhu will be termed as rapist.
      (a) AI Air Hostess Komal Singh case : “NCW rules out sexual harassment of AI air-hostess” –
      (b) Lt. Gen. A.K.Nanda case : “Col, wife cooked up sex charge against general” –
      (c) Weightlifting coach falsely alleged with sexual harassment by Karnam Malleshwari : “Weightlifting coach absolved of charges”
      (d) False sexual harassment allegations against Mr. M.K.Kaushik, former Indian Women’s Hockey coach

      Read the Rape law of Country like :

      Sweden, United states, England, Scotland, Germany , no where death penalty
      is there.


    • Neha, Idont know why you are so angry if somebody is asking for his rights, equality is our constitutional rights so if we are asking for gender neutral laws and want hard and strong punishment who file false cases than what is the wrong here…I have no doubt that becuase of you like girls…society is loosing harmony and distroying…


    • Reality in India is most rape cases are just filed by women to legally arm wrist the men. If women don’t rape men why are feminist of India afraid to make rape gender neutral. Now women organization as started internal revolt against speedy trial of all cases as it may adversely effect all their false cases. The survey done by NDTV about the police saying most rape cases are consensual is ground level reality.


    • The article adresses the hype being created on account of a brutal incident, This incident alone should not be taken as a basis to completely overhaul the present laws in force, especially in the heat of the moment. This is what I understand from the above article. Apart from that, the article is voicing an immediate need to have gender neutral laws. The comment on this article indicates a knee jerk reaction and demand to pass legislation based on the same without any rational debate. There are enough and more laws to help protect every citizen. Many of them carry strong punishments. But that has not really brought down the incidence of crime. What is needed, as the article advocates, is the people need to be work together towards harmony. This would be easier to achieve by removing the gender bias in the many laws that are already in existence. The removal of gender bias would imply that each individual has equal rights. Especially the laws where on the mere accusation by one person, the accused has to bear the burden of proof to prove innocence. Any arrests based on mere accusation, as mentioned in the original article is something that needs to be corrected.
      Taking Ms. Neha’s comment itself as a case point, I would say that the language directed at the author of this article, Mr. Partha, could be considered as harassment. In this case Mr. Partha would be asked to forget and forgive. However if the roles were reversed, assuming that Mr. Partha had responded in the way Ms. Neha had, to a similar article written by Ms. Neha, considering the present legislation, Mr. Partha would most likely have been punished for harassment.


    • Neha please provide stats that there are a few handful cases.can u tell under which law are most women arrested.can u tell how many married men and how many married women commit suiside. do u know 498a has less than 2% conviction u know even pregnant women and kids can be arrested on just oral complaint.

      I just wish u r brother has a 498a,406,125, dp 3/4 and than tell this


    • Neha whats meaning of STFU? Laws should be gender neutral , are you defying mom n dad should have different rules ? whoever breaks law should be punished.


  5. @Neha,
    Please understand that nobody is denying that whatever happened was animalistic and should be taken care in a strict way.
    But why people are crying for speedy trial only for this case? Why *only* these should be hanged to death? Where were these protestors when a wife chopped a huband into 14 peices on the same as of this rape news?
    Why nobody is requesting for death sentence to those bunch of girls who raped a boy last week (read TOI)?
    The major concern here is that with hue and cry, govt. will again stupidly draft few more draconian badly drafted women oriented laws which will further deteriorate the condition.
    Do you know that every year 100000 cases of 498a (dowry) are being filed resulting into false arrest of atleast 5 lakhs of people and most of these cases (98%) then turn out to be false? More than 70% rape cases being filed are due to broken relationships, in a fit of anger resulting into a false arrest of innocent men.
    More that the use of such laws, women are misusing them.
    So the need of an hour is to execute correctly already existing laws rather than foolishly drafting new gender biased laws.


    • Where were these protestors when a wife chopped a huband into 14 peices on the same as of this rape news?
      Why nobody is requesting for death sentence to those bunch of girls who raped a boy last week (read TOI)? – Why don’t u take the initiative and start a campaign. I will join it and so will many others.

      Instead of crying about why people are doing it only for this, and not for that, why don’t we understand that at least someone is doing something for some case. I don’t think the solution is to stop those protests but the solution is to stand up for the ones who we think have been left out.

      My question for you: What did you do about that boy’s rape? Did you tell your friends about it? Did you use any medium of free speech available to you to raise awareness about that issue? I am sure you dint. Its a vicious circle nowadays, if you stand up for something, they ask you why only this, why not that. If you don’t stand up for anything, society goes into the gutter and people say the youth of India is not concerned.

      As for media bias and good business, thankfully today the youth standing up for a cause are big news today. Luckily we have seen in the past that media doesn’t make or break an image, if you have enough support, the media will cover it. Anything that attracts attention these days, is good business. So lets not blame our inaction on media bias.

      My advice to all you men shouting inequality here: Please take a stand for your gender, and trust me a lot of women who love you will stand by you. Your own sisters, your mothers and a lot of your friends. And this is exactly what we expect out of you as well. Stand by us when we fight for our issues, and we will stand by you when you decide to fight for the injustices for your own issues.

      As for this over-publicized rape, this might just help curb the thousands of rape cases happening like anything in the country. The outcome of this protest/public rage might help 1000s of suffering women throughout the country !


      • ooooh…..
        How can you be so sure that I have not done anything :-)?
        We, men, still support women as we do the same for men. 80% of protestor were men in all such dharna.
        I myself, was sitting at AIIMS 3 days and was covered by media (Ajtak)
        Now please tell me what you have done to raise voice against law-misuse with ignored gender?
        Just looking the outer world from your cozy bedroom and passing comments on every passing-by men is very Have you ever been to court-room? In such false cases filed by wives (498a/DV) not only men but women (mothers/sisters) are also suffering.


  6. I guess, the article is written with partial view and somebody who has written is male chauvinist. Such laws are to empower women against men. How many times, have you heard women raping men? I guarantee you, my dear friend, when that day come, we will have laws supporting men also.

    But, stringent laws must be there to ensure, the modesty of women is respected, even if unconditionally.

    The intrinsic pain and the pain this society gives, to a women who has been molested – is bitter than any of the laws you have written, or that might exist.

    And well, the cases remain pending for decades in the court, so I guess, it is okay to take action based on complain only.

    Additionally, you have presented your view without the support of any factual data, how many husbands have suffered? how many false rape cases have been reported? how many have committed suicide and how many went bankrupt? Just because, you think a woman might do it, does not make you eligible to disgrace the females around us.


    • I have heard, but I am sure you have not because this news is never covered in mainstream media. Also in India, rape law is not gender neutral. Hence hearing or such cases being filed is NILL. Have you ever heard a man is subjected to domestic violence? No right. That is because, that provision is not there in law.

      Also you will never have modesty of women ensured if one incident is bloated to extreme. There are many more serious issues that is never looked into. Do you know there are more than 62000 married men commit suicide every year compared to 31000 married women. Have you ever heard or thought suicide of married men as an issue in India? This is because, these cases never reported in popular media.

      So you think pain that a man gets through all these gender biased laws is any less? And if cases remain unresolved for years the only reason is all the false complaints. So your guess of acting on mere complaint is foolish and can never ensure justice. To ensure justice, we need less false complaints that can be ensured by punishment of false complainants. But all women’s groups are very worried of that. Why?

      How many husbands have suffered? I think I mentioned about 98% 498a cases being false and SC terming it as ‘legal terrorism’. I already gave data about husband suicide. And yes, 75% rape cases in the country are false. Please read the post properly and the replies I have posted earlier to understand. Also I expected that before commenting you will do your study..anyways..


    • When women rape a men it is called love, so only request first make the rape law gender neutral then see who rape whom.


    • there are more than 60,000 marreid men who commit suicide every year .Every 8 minutes a man commits suicide this is NCRB data . Noone talks about it , i think it is high time laws should be gender neutral . Add a caluse if the allgeation are prooved wrong same punishment should given to the person irrespective of gender.


        • Take my word on marital rape and SHWB…these are surely being implemented. We tried hard to stop gender biased SHWB but under current rage that will be passed for sure. All men will be susceptible to workplace harassment now. Women will file more cases at workplaces to level scores and men will keep fighting legal battle at home, outside and even at office..


  7. Okay, no one here is denying that such laws are misused. Its not rare to hear such cases but that does not mean you shouldn’t make stricter laws. What happened in Delhi, the rape of a 2 yr old in Gujarat, and thousands of more cases are so animalistic that not even death penalty can do justice !
    So I think the real solution to the mess that you are pointing out , is to make stronger laws about falsifying police reports and defaming an innocent person. There are laws but apparently not exercised well. They need to be exercised. The law and order situation in our country is a mess so its not a surprise that defamation cases don’t get anywhere, because filing a police report is also a political tool.

    If only the government would do what its supposed to do, trust me both you and I will be way more content. The parliament is filled with people who watch porn in session, what really do you expect ! The situation of rape is so manhandled, that its way beyond the ability to bear. When asked to comment on the situation of rape in Delhi, Sheila Dikshit chooses to blame women about their dressing sense. This is just way beyond the limits of bearability.

    Also, if the murder law is not well framed, it doesnt mean that there shouldn’t be any laws against murder. Sorry, you can never convince me.


    • Good point…excercise the laws well. So implementation issue need to be resolved. But see what the women’s groups have done, they want new laws now, amend existing laws, bring in stricter punishment. Please understand that crime rate is related to many factors. By making so many gender biased strict laws, intelligent men will now run away from women. Today, anyone can file false rape case against a man, and the man will be defenseless. If 2 lakh compensation given on filing such cases, such cases will DEFINITELY increase. Now if the consent clause is also mad estringent every rape accusation will be proved right. Whatever barbarism you are referring to, I do not support them, but understand that Delhi case is a combination of three / four different crimes and police has rightly filed chargesheet under different sections., It is NOT ONLY rape.

      I understand that women are concerned about their safety, and so are we. But to ensure that we need to increase vigil, may be teach them self defence techniques free..but I am dead against creating a public rage or continued violence based on one case.

      Please understand that this case is overhyped by media and a newly formed political party to gain political ground in Delhi. We only relied on media reports and we all know media exaggerates things beyond all levels. Also rape is a favourite political weapon that everyone uses.

      I did not understand about murder law, please elaborate.


      • TBH, I haven’t yet made my mind about the politicization of the issue. Part of me is happy that for once, atleast one actual issue is being politicized and raising awareness in the common man. Part of me is sad because this is taking an ugly form. Definitely there is a big hand of the AAP in this, but I don’t understand why this is bad? Why do we use the word politics as a derogatory word? Aren’t people elected to serve us, and whats wrong if a party chooses to raise a issue.
        However, thats a totally different issue. Lets not divert. Media is definitely superiorly biased, I do not refute that.

        As for the violence part in the protestors, there is also another side of that story.

        Being a thoroughly optimistic person, I am a) hopeful that this protest will at least wake up congress from its deep slumber or b) atleast wake up the common man towards the realities of their elected body.

        You are right about asking “Why only this case?”, to that my response is the same as “I see the glass half full”, ie, Atleast some genuine case is coming to the forefront and it might help other genuine cases as well.


    • NHRC chief wary of death penalty for rape demand

      He also cautioned against the possibility of a stringent rape law being misused. “In most cases, there is no doubt that rape has taken place. But there are also cases where a woman may level false rape charges against some person. We have to keep that also in mind,” Balakrishnan said.
      “There is no doubt that it is a most ghastly act, something that even animals would not do. But when we talk of the quantum of punishment, I can see one lurking danger if the punishment for rape is made death. There will be greater chance the person who commits rape will kill the victim since even if the victim is left alive, he can be given the death sentence. So he may decide to kill the victim to destroy the evidence. He might think that it is better if the victim dies,” Balakrishnan said. “All these factors, I am sure, must have passed the minds of the lawmakers when they decided to keep the maximum punishment for rape as life.”


    • i think crime does not have a gender so the punishment should be irrespective of gender . once the allegatins prooved wrong the person should be punished for making wrong allegations .


    • When female CM of WB says rape case is used to magline my govt she is saying that because rape case can be filed and conviction can happen without any documentary evidence or coloborating evidence just based on sentence of victim. See IMF chief case victim count prove criminal case, she was caught telling lies to judge that she was gang raped yet she made handsome money in civil case. US has all laws what India femisit are asking for. More strict law means only more extortion.


  8. i don’t know if u r a male of female, but, fyi , my wife used to sleep with her brother in my presence and absence, when we objected to this they both kicked me out of the house and she filed 498a on me, my parents and brother, ironically she didn’t include her brother as an evidence in 498a, so when freedom is given to a female she will only ruin others around her, least she is bothered about her life


    • We get many such cases. Courts give order to husbands to maintain such wives and their illicit children (if any) as well. As justice is denied to Indian men today, in such cases most of the time we see one side commiting a crime to end this nonesense. The adultery law earlier was ‘wife lived in adultery’…but later NCW changed it to ‘Wife living in adultery”…also IPC 497 clearly states that such wives can’t be punished. So husbands don’t have any legal recourse. Since justice is denied, men choose to commit crime.


  9. Just one question to the dear writer of this superb post..Have you ever heard a woman raping a man or eve-teasing a man for that matter, passing on demeaning comments on his figure, scanning him from top to bottom and so on?

    Well now you would say that you have seen these kind of women too who ‘cry rape’ even when they had “happily” given their consent for sex, eh?

    You definitely don’t understand that we live in a patriarchal society driven/dominated by men where they have every right to ask for dowry from the bride’s family and abuse her physically/verbally after marriage. Ever wondered why all these abusive/slang words in Hindi/English focus on female reproductive parts only? Why don’t we have the same on men as well? Sure the inventor of such words was a wonderful man who was really pissed off with his “Maa/Behen”.

    You are clearly worried about what would happen if such a law is used by a woman against man. So we should probably do away with all such laws right? So as to guard the integrity of so-called “men” who are tortured and tormented by women at every phase of their lives.
    *Applauds and pats your back for such an insightful thought*.

    According to you, “NCRB says 76% of rape cases filed are false”. *Laughs* . Would you mind providing me the link to the same?

    If you pull out a chair or hold the door open for a women (I presume), that will simply portray your courteous/caring nature. You may do the same for your parents or kids (just a suggestion), and it wont lower your stature by any amount.
    Paying for lunch/dinner on first date is not mandatory. Just leaves a good impression. Remember, nobody ever forces you to do anything .If you don’t like it, stay away from it, or from the entire female fraternity if you wish, But please don’t consider “Bullshit” parameters to measure the equality of the two genders!!!


    • I have heard women raping men in India, saw that news as well ( We don’t hear such cases often as there is no section under which this can be filed. Also v often a man will be laughed at if he tries to file such a case.

      I have seen many women crying rape even after consented sex. Example – Pinky Pramanik case, where her live GF for years cried rape. There are many live in partners claim the same. It is a good business for women. Latest case from Mumbai –

      Dowry is already illegal and in most cases it is the brides family who gives dowry. Now if dowry is so bad and illegal, why not maintenace. Why a woman shamelessly ask for maintenance on divorce. This should also be banned right? Why is an educated, at times wroking and adulterous women are given maintenance. By same logic dowry is illegal, maintainance should also be illegal, isn;t it.

      Who said we have abuses on men as well…anyways.

      I am not saying do away with all such laws. I am saying make them gender neutral, so that the culprit gets punished and innocents are given reprive. What happens, today under DV it is considered that only a woman can be subjected to DV. So even the most abusive wife also files a DV case on her peaceful husband. For husband, justice is denied. SHWB, considers only women subjected to sexual abuse at work, whereas our survey shows even men are subjected to abuse. Adultery laws punishes men but clearly says “wife can’t be punished as abbettor”..What I am saying all such laws should be gender neutral so that men get justice. Else crime rate will only increase.

      Regarding NCRB data, it is well known fact. Go to their website (serch in Google) and see. Please understand, that most of us react to the media news, that is only on first information. Any woman filing a complaint becomes a sansani.Because that is good business for everyone. Also one rape case made a sensation on 18th Dec..but on same day a gruesome murder by a wife didn’t even catch any attention…no reportinig of that. Why? well here’s the link –

      It didn’t get any attention and no one knows about it because, rape is a good business in India. Not murder by wife. If a husband has murdered his wife and cut her into pieces, that would have again blown out of proportion..


      • Okay let me understand. You are saying there should be laws of rape, domestic violence, marital rape, dowry against women as well, ie, women should be deemed fit as perpetrators of these crimes? I 100% agree. Lets have the same laws for men.

        If you start a protest for this, I give you my word, I will stand there with you with all my open-minded friends, and fortunately I have a lot of them. I am all up for raising awareness for this issue.
        However, give me a honest opinion, even if these laws are there, how many men would actually go and report them? Wont his own fellow men, deem it unmanly? Man rape is one of the most underreported case in the world not only india. I think instead of opposing the laws for women, you should stand up for sexual abuse laws for men. Maybe then the society would be a better place.

        And I totally disagree about your point that crimes are committed because their are gender biased laws. Crimes are committed because there are animals on the street. These animals don’t have a specific gender but they exist. There was also a case where a woman was stripped and beaten in public by 8 people 2 of which were women. Dowry killings are most often carried in equal part by the women of the man’s family.


        • Only a corrupt nation has more laws. So we need less number of laws and they should be gender neutral. Else what will happen, people will keep on fighting legal battle throughout their life. This is seen in matrimonial disputes often. We have six maintenance laws for women, Now we r talking about IrBM. Also if you know, So far under dowry prohibition act dowry giving was also a crime but police have never registered it. Now NCW is demanding dowry giving should not be acrime.

          I am not saying the crimes are committed as laws r gender biased. Rather, if men are denied justice then crime rate will increase. Any man who catches his wife on adultery knows he has pay for her for life…or will not be able to prove his charges so he will kill her. That is why spouse murder rate is on increase now.

          I oppose thse laws for women only to make them gender neutral and make them less complicated. I have no problem if women get justice or crime against women comes down by any measure.


    • Sanjana Behan, You are comparing all women(even young able-bodied and well educated ones) with old parents and children, and then talking about equality *Laughs*. No, you do not want equality. You want equality only in rights but not in responsibilities.
      Thats why I term your interpretation of equality as bullshit.

      Men are not slaves or ATM machines.
      Remember, injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
      Biased laws are not detrimental to a particular set of society but whole nation.
      Fatherless India will be no better than Fatherless USA.


    • When a women do the same it is not crime, first make the law then ask this question , so only we demand make the rape and eve tesing law gender netural, if you feel women do not do that they will not be punished, why you afrid? Recently a women punished 3-years for rape a child, but it is not under rape law in other law . Read the rape law first and realtionship cheting is termed rape and you want to say women do not do relationship cheating?


    • In India , never discuss that we have some skewed definition of r@pe. After living for two years or so as live-in-partners and sleeping in the same bed, to accuse the male partner of r@pe if he refused to marry is the height absurdity. And police recording it as r@pe the culmination of stupidity. Such stupid definition no country all over the world have. First need to plug this loop hole first or cry for rape is increasing and increasing .

      So, my humble request , law should not be on emotion and crime does not have any sex, caste or religion , so the first priority the law should be gender neutral. If women do not do rape , they will not be punished, but outright say, women do not do rape or sexual assault, is wrong and such mindset in law making process will increase the crime in society.
      I have heard enough cases where women first rape men and then cry she had been raped.


    • Sanjana, Do you know when women rape man….first she falls in love and when she think that boy is not obeying her she filed false rape case against him…this is called type of rape….and Most important here is that our great Media and poltician run behind the money cause they want to increase their trp that how they are concern about woman….becuase when somthing happen wrong with man….only one sentence passed by these law makers…be a man not a woman …could you please let me know what is this mean….


      • Dear Mr xyz498
        How many such false rape accusations have you heard of? I am not denying the existence of such kind of girls who file a rape case against their live-in partner in case he refuses to marry her, keep his aforesaid promise of marriage once they get into a live-in relationship ; has satisfied to the fullest his need/desire of sex (coz that’s what live-ins are meant for, right?) but is still having second thoughts about marrying the women he has slept with.

        DEFINITELY, the woman here is at fault , she should have figured out the intentions of such a lustful man before making any decision of getting into a relationship with him, let alone live-in.

        Still , I would say that such cases of live-in-rape-by-women are handful. Still many would refrain from live-ins, Indians have a conservative mindset.


        • False rape case…we have heard of a lot but hardly they come on mainstream media. You may know about Pinky Pramanik case where her GF filed false case. There are many other cases filed but these come in very small size and hence most of us don’t notice.

          When a couple enter into live-in relation it is well understood that marraige may not happen. What if the woman goes away after some time. Should not the man file rape case against her then. Do you want to project that the man and only the man enjoys sex and women don’t?

          Why is that women want to do business with sex all the time?


    • Sanjana….have you ever heard a man fighting false rape case for 15 long years???
      Have u ever heard a high court of the very Delhi asking cops to take against a woman from that very “Delhi” as she has been misusing rape laws for extort money??
      Have you ever heard a woman, after happily sleeping with a man in the name of modernity “Live in relationships”, charging the same man with rape charges??
      If you are so very concerned about NCRB or other statistics, mind you, there is never a law for a man to protest violence against him either by woman/wife/girl friend or anything.
      I cant understand the so called crusaders of empowerment like you when you are dead against gender neutral laws. After all, you women wants freedom like in western society, but you don’t want gender neutral laws like in the western society.
      Now who deserves a better society here…with this kind of mind set prevailing ???


      • Sunil Sir
        There is no law as there has never been a need for any my dear! Laws are made as and when a need arises.Simple! Very few woman must there who are inclined towards raging a war against their husbands/boyfriends.

        And after all, God has bestowed upon men the physical strength which women are devoid of. They can always use it anytime they think they are being abused by women in any manner.
        (Just a thought)

        PS: I am not a crusader of anything. I do not belong to any political party or women activist group. I just an “aam-aadmi” with little bit of common sense which apparently has become very rare nowadays.

        PPS: Please do refer to my reply to Mr xyz..above


        • @Sanjana..aam aadmi in India is not fed with correct news and hence the issue. Newspapers always bloat up any women related crime and hence from media coverage we always think that such crimes are high. A few pointers here –
          1. We all say dowry is a menace – but do not realize that maintenace is a larger menace as a) dowry is illegal and hence can be punished, b) Dowry is one time, maintenace is every month, lifelong, c) Wife can get marriedm be employed but still enjoys husbands money and property too (under DVA) and abuse husband.
          2. Custody battles are mostly given in mothers favour. Father becomes ‘Visting Uncle’, while he pays for them
          3. One false affidavit by a woman or her cries are given more weihtage by this ‘so called ‘Patriarchal’ soceity judges and even most abusive, able bodied, working or adulterous wife granted maintenace. Women still cry more empowerment
          4. Man has physical power but use of that is legally prohibited and any woman can make stories around that to put him in jail. Man can’t take a roundabout way in avoiding legal shackles.
          5. The number of women raging war on their husbands/BFs is increasing and will continue to increase ss a result of women empowerment. This is directly evident from all biased laws and how women support these without understanding anything.
          6. I am giving separate reply to your reply to XYZ..


  10. I think the gist of your argument is based on a very skewed view towards how our society works right now. Have you ever been to a village or a slum where “beating up your wife into a pulp” is part of the daily routine of a man?

    Why don’t you go and try to tell your concerns about abuse of such laws in the face of the poor girl who was so brutally raped and left to die that sorry we wont help you, you would have to go through the torture and ridicule of the society if you decide to accuse someone. You would have to come in the court 15 times and give witness to the court where the questions would be how many minutes were you raped for, because we are worried that our fellow men might suffer because some woman might post a false charge against some man? (you can choose anyone of ur wish, since Delhi one is now not a valid case because she has got enough media attention).

    As per your opinion, gender-biased laws shouldn’t be made. Agreed. Why then I walk on the street in India, I hear atleast 7 comments on my booty and busts and none of my same aged boys have ever suffered such ridicule? Why does every single girl in India, as soon as she becomes 13 has to be cautious of what she wears in which neighborhood? I am told repeatedly that the kind of dress I can wear in NY/London, I can never wear in the streets of India. Have you ever been told that?

    Sachin: You cry of equality, has this society grown enough to let a girl have the same rights as a boy? When we achieve that, we will talk about the abuse of women’s rights.
    Till every husband is scared to raise a hand on his wife in this country, I will not feel it unjust to have domestic violence and marital rape laws. Go teach your fellow men to be humane and we will teach our fellow women to not abuse their rights.


    • When a women rape a man it called Love as per LAW, Society and media..right?
      When i read the News article in Times of India : When live-in turns sour, man becomes ‘rapist’: Times of India News.
      More details at :

      Any small child also can say such law or act is not only unfair , it is a clear injustice to men and to be termed as Blackmailing and extortion by greedy women. When two adult person stay together as per their own wish and after some time the relationship breaks, how the same can be termed as Rape?


    • Neha…do you think the very own society puts same responsibility on women??? you were talking about society, patriarchy, dowry and what not.

      of the thousands of dowry cases, show me one dowry case which was filed by a so called empowered women against her own father or brother.
      not a single case where woman said “my father taking dowry for my brother marriage”???
      not a single case where woman said “my brother is harassing his wife for extra dowry”???

      is it that we use the so called patriarchy society and women oppression reason…only to hide the incapability and indifference towards the very society you rant upon???
      how can woman claim to have morally high ground than men in this society??

      have not you seen, even in the delhi protests…the number of men present were almost 20 times more than women present. what were other women doing?? Sitting in AC studio to discuss about rape laws with full make up??

      And lastly, you said every husband should be scared to raise hand on wife…i agree and similarly we should also have laws which make every wife fear to

      • kick the ailing in laws out of the house and threaten husband with suicide threats if his parents are allowed in the same house which they built
      • refuse to breast feed the new born only because the wife beauty is spoiled
      • dump children in day care to enjoy shopping every day
      • compare and harass husband with other men who earn more buy costly gifts to their wives
      • Insult husband in front of relatives for not buying costly gifts to her
      • Throw remaining food outside after she ate and when husband returns from office, tell to him that she is not feeling well and didn’t cook
      • Don’t miss the TV serial and movies but always miss children snacks and medication
      • Harass and influence husband to make all his and his parents property on her name.
      • Sleep with boyfriend right in front of husband, and when questioned threatens to file false dowry charges against husband and his parents


  11. Look the NCW has for a very long time been a political entity. If they would have been doing their job right, people like us wouldn’t have to go on the streets. What they ask for is hardly ever the right thing for women.. but like every other thing in this country, only political entities have voice. My own neighbor had a case where she was told by the NCW to shut up and not file a case against her husband for domestic violence, because her husband was a backer of the NCW and a political figure. Standing up against him would have meant end of a political career for the head of the regional NCW leader.

    “So we need less number of gender neutral laws.” – I think you meant more?
    Anyhow, since the laws are already there and are gender biased, to make them the right way we need to raise a voice against it, wont we? Or just by dissuading the current protestors would help anyone? The laws of divorce, domestic violence are gender neutral in US and I applaud those laws. By misusing women’s rights, those women discredit the genuine cases. They also waste the resources and genuine cases hang in trial for ever. Misuse is not a men’s issue, its a society issue !


    • Neha, thanks for participating in a discussion here. It is not contested that a lot of women are undergoing various forms of abuse, and that this figure is higher than that of men. It is also not contested that these victims should get justice. What I’d also like to bring to your attention is that, albeit on a lesser scale, men get abused too – both by the filing of false cases against them as well as economically, physically, sexually, etc, and there is a strong stigma against men speaking out as well. What we are asking for, therefore, is (i) gender-neutral laws (ii) stringent punishment for false laws, and (iii) the removal of monetary bounties without the strong burden of proof.

      False cases are a big problem, because the fear of police harassment is used as leverage for everything ranging from revenge for a failed live-in relationship to making a quick buck out of marriage (by a equally well-educated wife) to covering up adultery, etc. Clearly, the filing of false cases helps no one – innocent men are traumatized along with their families and genuine women victims lose credibility. Just as the legal system is obliged to punish the guilty, it has a greater duty to ensure the innocent are not persecuted. The second should not be forgotten, just because the numbers of the affected are a minority.

      The huge misuse of 498a IPC is a case in point. Most urban cases of dowry harassment are false and there are statistics to back it up. The percentage of false cases is in the high nineties. Believe me when I say that it really crushes your soul to find yourself, your parents, and your brother and sister and their spouses in jail arrested for something they did not do, just so the wife wants to live in adultery or wants to make a quick buck, and running around desperately to obtain bail. Children are cut off while the father and his family is running around criminal courts faced with a huge settlement or a long trial. This is what a lot of us have been through.

      Arrest is something that is immediate, BEFORE investigation, and this is a process that continues to this day, and it affects people who never even had any contact with the girl, just because of her verbal statement.

      I, too, feel ashamed that you do not feel safe on the streets in this day and age. But, at the same time, you must realize that it is equally shameful that laws intended to protect women are misused to put women — our mothers and sisters — in jail on false cases. This is our biggest worry. It is great that this protest is happening. Please consider the necessity of the things I mention above and how it is equally important that those are implemented as well.

      Also, for the record, I believe stringent punishment is a deterrent, but it is not the only solution, nor does it go to the cause of the problem. I would not be surprised that if a large chunk of the same protestors go back home to consume the same item numbers and same trash mainstream media that objectify women and denigrate them as sex objects. Protest is one thing; I believe it is equally important for us to show we have better taste (if we really do). Pop culture and media is but a reflection of our society’s values.

      To a better India. For ALL of us.


    • My mistake in earlier post, I have corrected the same. Less number of laws and all of them should be gender neutral. U gave one rare instance of NCW, where NCW asked the wife not to file any case against the husband. I will tell you when mothers and sisters of a husband went to NCW office in Bangalore to demand justice from domestic abuse by their DIL, they were turned away. When an abused husband writes about domestic violence against him to the President, he forwards it to the DM and who in turn tries getting maintenance for his parents.

      We are already raising our voice in different forums about gender neutral laws. If you are interested let me know.

      I completely agree with your last para. Those misusers are biggest criminals than us men. They misuse a lot of govt. resources too. That is why we demand punishment for law misusers. But NCW and the womens groups do not want punishment, because these laws are NOT for women empowerment, but these are for business. A business that reaps huge benefit for all govt. agencies. Leaders indulge in corruption, and every one of us suffer.


    • In India , never discuss that we have some skewed definition of r@pe. After living for two years or so as live-in-partners and sleeping in the same bed, to accuse the male partner of r@pe if he refused to marry is the height absurdity. And police recording it as r@pe the culmination of stupidity. Such stupid definition no country all over the world have. First need to plug this loop hole first or cry for rape is increasing and increasing .

      So, my humble request , law should not be on emotion and crime does not have any sex, caste or religion , so the first priority the law should be gender neutral. If women do not do rape , they will not be punished, but outright say, women do not do rape or sexual assault, is wrong and such mindset in law making process will increase the crime in society.


  12. I read through the comments.

    What India’s youth must realize is violence has no gender…crime has no gender…it is both against men and women…

    Is not Renuka Chaudhary who carries a gun (one of the many women MPs who carry a gun in Delhi) and shout for protection for women? Do you even know she carries gun (do believe she needs more protection at all)? Is not the same Suhashini Ali who rubbishes any progressive idea and want to pull in useless laws in every discussion? Young people must open their eyes and know the truth in all cases.

    Do believe a Abhishek Manu Singhi talking of women’s protection (of CD fame) or a Ranjana Kumari going for empowerment (she will put any man into concentration camp if she could)? There are there for their agenda.

    When the police men (and a father, a brother, a sole bread earner of the family died) today in line of duty trying to ensure peace…will the same brain washed people also ask for Death Penalty or at least protest?

    When crime is 95% against men and over 85% violent crime are against men, why no protest happen?

    Why is that women want only rights, rights and rights without any responsibility?

    On the comments on Patriarchal Society:

    Do you know the highest rate of violent crime is reported (2011) is in Kerala, considered to a matriarchal society? Do you know highest crime against women reported is in West Bengal? Do you know Andhra reports the highest harassment cases against women (above 42%)? Do you know highest no. of domestic violence cases come from MH, TN and AP?

    Are not most of these states, especially the southern states known to be Matriarchal society? Did it prevent crime there, no in fact it is much more there.

    Coming to Delhi:

    Coming to Delhi, with a woman chief minister, with a woman as the president of the largest party, with woman as the leader of the opposition, with woman as the speaker of LS, with a woman till recently as the Prez, and around 12-15% MPs in parl. – why these things are happening?

    What Actually Should Happen?

    Expectations of rights, rights and rights without any responsibilities have to end. Women should take responsibilities. Spa jobs, receptionist jobs, beautician jobs, air conditioned jobs are fine….but they must take responsibility in other jobs mentioned before, which men have historically taken up.
    1. Why do not they join police more in numbers and do night patrolling?
    2. Why no women cab drives, bus drivers and auto drivers…can not they do that?
    Our media goes berserk on Sunnny Leone and Sherlyn Chopra and make them inspirations for many. But how about these jobs? (I can count countries where they exist and crime is less there)
    3. Why no women CRPF personnel want to work at railway stations at night?
    4. Why no women security guards want to work at night even with a group of women?
    and many more…


    Now women will immediately say that they not safe, no protection there.

    Do you think the person like Saurav Kalia who goes on to patrol on border thinking that – it is safe, have enough training and protection? No. Still men do.

    Why – nation is more important than self, responsibilities are more important than rights, saving and feeding a family are more important than protest for passing gender biased laws for false empowerment. Will women think of the same for once?


    I’ll stand for a father as well as a mother, a brother as well as sister and a son as well as a daughter? Will you – Neha, Sanjana, Prabodh?

    Will any of Neha, Sanjana et al you ever support stand for once a father or brother or a son?

    All the gender biased laws that are passed so far – IPC 354, 509, 376, 497, 498, 498A, GWA, DV Act, HMA – the list is becoming endless now. – has done enough damage to our society, broke many families. Will Indian women say now enough and we want right governance, less corruption, more jobs, and removal of family breaking and gender biased laws.

    Till then we can fight, but remember that (I have no qualms about it now) this is another division being sown in – after caste, religion, language, now it is the turn of gender. It has become a vote bank now.

    On short run some may and some may loose and I give you that women will draw more support for now. But for sure, harassed men are increasing dramatically day by day and it is severely damaging for any family in India. In the US, people have lost faith in marriages, parenting, single mothers are a majority in many areas now and with the kind of westernized approach, India is not far where the same thing will happen.

    Above all, blind support to a Renuka C or Sanjana Kumari or a Suhashinni Ali (all belong to one or other political party) will only destroy the fabric of Indian families, values, of course India as a whole.

    Do you really care? I do not know. But, I do hope that you will realize in which this road is going now and what you will live for your sons and daughters – broken system, high divorces, unwanted pregnancy, single motherhood, and it becomes a vicious circle going forward. There is no stop to this decay as we have seen in many western countries.


    • a) I think you should read through my comments again. I openly and clearly stated I am all in for gender neutral laws. And to answer your direct question, yes I stand for whats right irrespective of gender.
      b) My whole argument was against bashing of the delhi protests. Not against what the post is standing for.
      c) I dont give blind support to anyone
      d) And most importantly, you confuse women with the handful of few who stand up for women on the pretense of representing us. If they would have honestly been doing their job, we wouldn’t be on the streets.


      • Good Neha.

        Men have stood for you (I have seen men and women both coming for Delhi case). Will you stand for men for equal rights and voice your concern as well?

        Fight for and stand for for your or somebody’s else father or brother or son and in return, they will stand and fight for you as well. I do hope that you will.


      • Hi Neha, enjoyed the conversations going amongst (note not between) you, partha, and others. I hope women like you are in the majority and not bozos such as those represented by the NCW and idiots exemplified by renuka chowdary (carrying a gun) and Thirt (shouting castrate and kill men). Unfortunately most women on telly fail to make a distinction between MEN and RAPISTS. There is a vast category of MEN who are not RAPISTS. Therefore to combat the mis-perception that all men are rapisits, we demand gender neutral laws and strict punishment for false cases. 498(A), DV … etc. being women centric laws fail to combat the terror of falsification. I look at it in rather simple terms – irrespective of the perptrator, a criminal act must be punished. In the case of a rape (presumably guy raping a woman), no question – the rapist must be punished. On the other hand, if a false case, the woman has committed a crime of falsification and therefore she must be punished. The system thus far (police, judges, lawyers, NCW yellers and screamers, etc. etc.) don’t allow it to happen. I am happy to share thousands of examples on this conclusion. Therefore my (our) stance that more laws are not needed. The need for the hour is expediency, and an objective assessment on who the criminal is – the alleged rapist or the falsified accuser. If you can help me (us) in brining about awareness on the balanced view in the system (police, judges, lawyers, etc) that would be very welcome. Please let Partha or I know if we can collaborate on a common cause such as “expedient punishment to the criminal”. Thank you, tc


  13. sanjana and Neha – because of these gender biased laws unnumerable women like me are suffering too. Violence by a bhabhi or daughter in law is not considered violence . If you want to take help from law for an abusive daughter in law there is no law to support you. There are cases where a woman has actually raped man but society does not allow a man to cry and law does not accepts it as rape . So no FIR is lodged . All these laws blindly supports women , and male abuse is a laughter thing which Sanjana did . I think all we women are related to men and if there is anything wrong with them are sufferers too . I expect all the women to come and support us when we protest against the misuse of family laws .


  14. A don’t need to change laws to correct the system but the correct laws to change the system.
    More you make new gender biased laws, more will they be mis-used by metro women.


  15. There are two very central issues in the current law making and judicial process:

    A) In gender related issues, the law making in India remains to be only women-centric. The data related to gender crimes are captured, interpreted and presented to “gullible” Indian citizens in such a way that it only feeds thought like – “All MEN are criminals and All WOMEN are victims” and that “Only WOMEN are/can be victims”.

    B) The judicial infrastructure falls awfully short in ratio to the present population of India. This has resulted in the present situation of huge pendency of cases in all the courts. Even in the cases which get resolved after a long legal battle, the real victim gets the sense of justice denied for him.

    Why Sexual assaults on men are underrepresented?

    The WHO report on sexual violence [1] states the below

    “Most experts believe that official statistics vastly under-represent the number of male rape victims. The evidence available suggests that males may be even less likely than female victims to report an assault to the authorities. There are a variety of reasons why male rape is underreported, including shame, guilt and fear of not being believed or of being denounced for what has occurred. Myths and strong prejudices surrounding male sexuality also prevent men from coming forward.”

    Sexual assault against males by the Indian Police is far more brutal than sexual assault against females

    Are only females entitled to have modesty in India and not men? Is a man any less of a human being in the eyes of the government than a woman when it comes to safeguarding his modesty? If the answer is ‘No’ then A Police officer violating the modesty of man in any way must be held equally guilty of Sexual Assault. Some recent studies expose the fact that the relative brutality of sexual assault on a man by the police is often much more than sexual assault of a woman. Frequently sexual assault on men go far beyond just outraging the modesty and are in many cases severe and life threatening and hence the punishment for the crime of sexual assault by a police officer or a government servant against any man must be commensurately much more.

    1) Study: – Torture in India 2010 – Asian Center for Human Rights

    The Asian Center for Human Rights in its report tiled “Torture in India 2010”[2], discloses that with the 2000-2001 as the base year, custodial deaths have increased by 41.66% persons under the UPA government between 2004-2005 and 2007-2008 in India. This includes 70.72% increase of deaths in prison custody and 12.60% increase of deaths in police custody. Rampant and deadly sexual assault cases against males in particular have been documented in this shocking study. Few are highlighted below.

    a) Page 20 “The victims told the court that they were tortured for four days. The police used candles on their genitals forcing them to confess to the crime which they insisted they did not commit. The court instructed the police to take the victims to hospital for treatment. The doctors found burn injuries on the genitals and legs of both victims.”

    b) Page 21 “In June 2009, Jitumoni Bora, the officer-in-charge of Nitaipukhuri police outpost in Sivasagar district of Assam allegedly stripped naked two Class X students and rubbed “Bhut Jolokia” (also called Naga Jolokia), the world’s hottest chilli, on their bodies.”

    c) Page 80 “Mr. S. inquired as to the reason for his detention, but he was hit by BSF personnel with wooden sticks, which made him fall to the ground. At that time, other personnel started beating him with their boots,resulting in black spots all over his body and bleeding from his penis.”

    2) Study: – “POLICE TORTURE IN PUNJAB, INDIA: An Extended Survey

    While in custody male prisoners are routinely subjected to brutal and life threatening sexual assaults for various reasons such as signing forced confessions. Although very little information is actually gathered by the government on these sexual assault techniques for obvious reasons , there are a few very reliable reports like “POLICE TORTURE IN PUNJAB, INDIA: An Extended Survey” by Ami Laws and Vincent Iacopino[3] which list the some of the brutal and life threatening sexual assault techniques used by the Indian police .

    a) Disrobing the male prisoners causing them deliberate embarrassment

    b) Kicking the male prisoners in their groin and thighs by officers wearing heavy boots

    c) Electric shocks administered to male genitals

    d) Motor Oil being pushed up a Male’s anus

    e) Chilli Peppers pushed up the Male’s anus

    f) Inserting foreign objects like Batons and other instruments in private parts

    g) Raping Male prisoners with relatives having to watch

    A report from Physicians for Human Rights (PHR) Denmark indicated that, as recently as 2000, Punjab police were still using the same sexual assault techniques on detainees.

    RAPE/Sexual Assault laws should be gender neutral

    The present rape laws in India recognize only man-on-woman rape cases. Whereas, all over the world the rape have been changed or are changing to include all kinds, man-on-man, woman-on -man and woman-on-woman rape cases. As correctly opined in the article – (‘Focus on means to prevent similar incidents in future’ – Justice JS Verma, Hindustan Times, New Delhi, December 20, 2012 : means-to-prevent-similar-incidents-in-future/Article1-976811.aspx)


  16. Sachin Bhaiyaaa (with all due respect),

    In my previous post, I did not compare young to old, my point was to tell you the terms you had pointed out above to show that how you have shared a greater load of responsibility by pulling out a chair for her, et al., were meaningless. Anyways, leave it.

    Who told you that women are only there to punch a hole in your pockets or ‘misuse’ your debit cards? If that is the case, I am afraid my brother, you have never met a real women in your life. Can’t you see that women, nowadays, across India are holding high positions of responsibility, earning well enough to sustain their lives. Though they are few in number, but still trying hard to make their mark.Such a woman carries her own ATM carried and I doubt if she would ever be bothered about yours, (in case you ever meet any of that kind).

    I totally agree with you that the laws should not be biased towards a particular gender. But since pre-historic times, women have been raped, tortured at home by in-laws, burnt to death for dowry, not allowed to continue education as families consider them a big burden and want them to get married ASAP, murdered in abdomen even before birth..Such is the ill-fate of women in a country like India.

    Innumerable crimes against her. Why cant we have laws to protect her?


    • Hello Ladies,

      We already have innumerous special / extra provisons for protection & over-protection of women at every place, which are over-whelmingly, being misused to trap / terrorize husbands & their family members ( which, btw, includes 2 – 5 women ) in false cases, for extortion, divorces & vengeance for hurt egos, in effect, hurting 2 – 5 women, in name of providing protection to one wife/woman.

      By making them gender-neutral, you will not be diluting those laws for women, but will mercifully, permit men/ husbands, to come under the category of ‘Human-Beings’ & ‘Capable of being Innocent’.

      We also welcome fixing Time-limits / adjournments ( not more than 2 – 3 adjournments / excused dates ).

      We pray for Speediest Trials for all matrimonial / sexual abuse / all Cri. cases, even at lower Courts, to expose the truth behind all such cases.

      We root ( we wish you all have the guts / heart, to publicly announce the same ) for the strictest punishments to the guilty ( whosoever maybe ) & for those who misused / falsified allegations / such provisions, for personal / blackmailing / extortion gains.

      But tell me,…..

      Where / how do such husbands, ring the bell, for their grievances ?

      Where do their family-women-folk, shout / announce / give dharna for their innocence / protest their abuse &/or ask for punishment of their abusers ?

      Lets be honest, Can such women, ever come / do they come, under the classification of Indian WOMEN / needy / abla nari / bechari / innocent women ?
      Do they come / remain under the Default – ‘Criminals’ Class ( as for men ) for the crime, that they are related to that default Criminal – Husband / Man.

      And please do not forget that these faulty laws & their 98% misuse, will come back to haunt those very-same misusers / beneficiaries, as u also can be trapped by virtue of your being related to brothers, fathers, cousins, sons, etc.
      On that day, please don’t do a ‘volte face’ or a ‘Oops’, because by then you will not be in a position to rectify / turn back the tsunami of pseudo-feminism / damages done.

      It’s better to be honest, balanced & thoughtful, from now.

      Pray for Truth to prevail & to become the norm rather than the exception in today’s society & help ‘Save this society’.
      Please have a conscience in your mind alongwith a Heart….., too.


  17. Really good article. Supereme court of India declared it as “Legal Terrorism” but I want say it as “LEGAL PROSTITUTION”. I really feel very bad and my heartful condolence to the rape victime. Its really shame. But I really worry about the stupid govt ruin the men by introducing stupid and strongest law against rape. Now India called a self destructive function() and now men are infinite loop. Beware…


  18. Partha Sadhu Khan,
    If a woman walks away after entering into a live-in, man should have full right to file a rape case against her. But, AS-A-MATTER-OF-FACT, such incidents are very rare. Hence we rarely hear them! But the opposite of that incident (man walking away) is common.

    If a woman sleeps with many men- she is called a slut. On the other hand, its an indication of manhood if a man sleeps with many women.

    I never said that women don’t enjoy sex. They do. But they don’t use it “as a business”. You are creaking of male chauvinism.

    Throughout the posts ,you have pointed out just one such incident of false rape case (Pinky Pramanik one). If its so rampant, where are the figures?? You must be aware of some, must have done some ground work about that?

    For once , our countrymen have stood up against the government for the rights of women. Awareness was spread by media. But you think it was utterly wrong as the incident was blown out of proportion by them. You are not happy with that. Hence you came up with this post.

    I salute you and all the men of your mentality. No more of argument please.

    May God save the asses of all the men throughout the world who raped/abused/murdered by women. Infact, I would love to witness such a world!



    • @Sanjana..
      Law shouldn’t be made on permutation & combination. Do you mean to say that if you belong to minority group and you go through injustice you shouldn’t get legal recourse. Laws should be make with a sense of natural justice.
      I only hope that some one in your family files a false dowry case on you and implicated you in that case (Dowry cases can if filed even if you have not taken dowry) and force you to spend at least a day in jail.


      • @M S
        Thanks a lot for hoping that for me!
        Let me also make a special wish for you. Let one of your female family member, the one you are attached to the most, goes through the trauma of….Or leave it. I will not stoop down to your level and wish something of that sort for you!


        • Sanjana…I understand that safety is anybody’s primary concern. And so women are showing their concern and beleive me we are equally concerned too. to ensure safety we are ok if Govt. increase police patrol, recruits more women staffer in police force, military, increase night vigil, instal more cameras, street lights etc BUT please understand that govt. can’t have police posted everywhere. We need carry our own safety with us. How?

          Let the women learn self defence techniques. I am ok if this is taught in all schools. But changing law or making them easy for a woman to file false cases will only make situation worse. Today if a woman files a false affidavit under DV that is given more weightage than a husband’s evidences. Do you know why? because we THINK all women are subjected to DV by default. There is no provision given to man if the same crime happens to him. So women criminals still get away with false cases, rewarded monetary benefit.

          If this continues, then every intelligent man will run away from any relationship. Women will be lonely and frustrated. Average girls won’t stand any chance of getting married and these frustrated people will resort to all kinds of crime. Violent crime will only increase and NEVER decrease…

          One more problem. If the criminal women are not punished they will keep on clogging the legal system with false cases and justice will be denied for all, including the real victims.


    • @Sanjana..Only because we don’t hear certain things we should not consider that as no problem. Have you ever heard that suicide of Indian husbands is the biggest problem of all. Every year more than 62000 plus husbands commit suicide compared to 31000 plus married women. But have you heard any single husband suicide issue?

      We can not have law based on number of incidents. So do you mean, if I commit only one murder I should not be punished. Or because Muslims are named in most terrorist activities so we should hang all Muslims or term them as criminals.

      Stats say, women file 76% false rape cases, they break live-ins and still cry rape, it is women’s groups who ensured women are not punished for adultery and changed adultery laws accordingly. If women are not committing adultery more then why are your groups afraid of equal punishment. Anyway women will not be punished if they are not guilty.

      How women use sex as business – They file false rape charge for money and get away with it. They demand maintenance if a marraige breaks and considers it as their right nowadays, they demand maintenance even if they are adulterous how many men have you seen demanding money like this for making or breaking relations.

      I have also given you you another recent case of 62 years old woman from Mumbai…this is recent case. She cried rape initially but later admitted of consented sex, there are many others I can’t pull in here…

      The incident is no doubt heinious and barbaric (if happened in the way media shown it), but I am against projecting rape as the primary problem the country is facing. Any woman related crime is focussed and made BIG for that matter. Every other day we hear about DOWRY DEATH you know any unnatural death within 8 years of marraige is termed as dowry death? So even if a woman dies of heart attack that will be termed as dowry death. But we always (thanks to media) think that the bride is either burnt or brutally murdered, aren’t we?

      And again you are mistaken, no one is supporting rape or rapists here. Don’t you think a woman who files false case under these sections are more criminal rather than a criminal. She is not only ruining an innocent life but also denying justice for thousands of real victims.

      Have you noticed that so far DOWRY is made the biggest monster in India. And we all know 98% cases are false. When we raised our voice, suddenly in 2011 the figure went down to 80% cases being false. But still women’s groups project that as problem, a BIG problem. Now tell me honestly will you like if all men run away from women now? If they refuse to go near a woman because filing these cases are easier than ordering pizza in a any metro city now. What is your take on this?


  19. If a woman sleeps with many men- she is called a slut. On the other hand, its an indication of manhood if a man sleeps with many women.
    >> Women can still not be charged for adultry but all men who were sleeping with her can be charged with adultery 😦 sad state. Let me know if below stats (which I alone could find sounds lesser to you 🙂
    [1] WHO Report – WORLD REPORT ON VIOLENCE AND HEALTH Report, Chapter 6, Sexual Violence – Page 154 , Box 6.1
    [2] Asian Center for Human Rights report titled “Torture in India 2010”, ISBN : 978-81-88987-24-5
    [3] “POLICE TORTURE IN PUNJAB, INDIA: An Extended Survey” by Ami Laws and Vincent Iacopino, Health and Human Rights Journal, Vol 6 No .1
    [4] “Rape on Second thought” – Article in the Pune Mirror on 28-April-2010,
    [5] Lady who cooks up rape TNN, Feb 18, 2012 –
    [6] Woman to pay Rs 50 lakh for accusing actor of rape, TNN, Dec 11, 2012

    a) AI Air Hostess Komal Singh case : “NCW rules out sexual harassment of AI air-hostess” –
    (b) Lt. Gen. A.K.Nanda case : “Col, wife cooked up sex charge against general” –
    (c) Weightlifting coach falsely alleged with sexual harassment by Karnam Malleshwari : “Weightlifting coach absolved of charges”
    (d) False sexual harassment allegations against Mr. M.K.Kaushik, former Indian Women’s Hockey coach

    (e) Fake rape victims a danger to society: Court –
    (f) Take action against girl for filing false rape case: HC to cops –
    (g) Woman, Mother Marked for Lodging ‘False’ Rape Cases –
    (h) Lady who cooks up rape TNN, Feb 18, 2012 –
    (i) Medical report rules out rape of two Russians: Hindustan Times, Panipat, June 26, 2012


  20. A very biased article crying out for unbiased laws. Let me put my stance straight first, am all for gender neutral DV & sexual assault laws, and am highly against drafting present laws.All I want is stricter implementation of present laws.
    Now coming to statistics presented in the article and in many of the comments. Lets forget the media reports, both of the rape by men and also of the false charges by women.
    Lets talk about ground reality,what do you see when yo go out on roads,train stations,bus stands.
    As a man,how many times in your life have you fell victim to sexual harassment? Would any of you be honest enough to answer that here in reply?
    I,a 25 yr old man,has faced it only once,when I fell on a elderly woman on a bus due to sudden break,and was abused by her complaining of me doing it intentionally.
    My sister,aged 24,has first hand example of men verbally teasing her and feeling her body up in public transport about nearly half a thousand times.
    Whom are you kidding when you ask for unbiased laws?
    Make the society unbiased,make women feel secure(not by laws,by our own behavior), and the laws will take it own course, God forbid if such a day comes when young men will be touched upon their private parts every now and then on public transport by elderly ladies,and roadside gang of girls commenting on our size of posteriors,dont worry my friends,you will get to see enough news coverage & enough outrage on those issue that day.


    • So, are the same acts considered as sexual harassment when done by women? Most of us think those are enjoyable and hence this is not even recognised as crime. Similar way do you think only a woman can be subjected to domestic violence and a man can’t? If men are also subjected to domestic violence why they don’t get justice?

      This hype about women related crime is created by media, we all beleive that as true. When there is one woman suicide they immediately report that dowry death irrespective of the reality. We all belv that to be true.

      Also we only demand punishment for the criminals. So when a woman is a criminal why is she not punished? Why is a woman given enough leeway to file false criminal cases and go away with it? We have seen it in 498a and DVA and now will see in rape cases. And god forbid if SHWB comes into picture, all men will se that at workplace too. Including you my freind..


  21. @saikat,
    You actually seem to be a 25 year old kid to me.
    Have you sen the fact presented above?
    1)s per NCRB, 62000 married men commit suicide every year as per 30000 married women in india.
    2) more than 100000 cases of 498a/DV filed every year making arrest of 5 lakh people and 98% cases turn out to be true.
    3) 70% of rape cases being filed are false and thus results jailed innocent men.

    Point here is that however small number of men are facing harassement (number actually is comparable), they also need protection under law.
    No law supports men? Why?
    there are more than 70 laws favoring women only? Why?
    Why can’t they gender neutral law? Give me a single reason?


    • Please Vinay beta..leave ur lappy for sometime and go out on the streets, a 10 yr old girl can tell you the reality on the street,you wont need a 25 yr kid to do so. You can only have gender neutral law in a gender neutral society. You can;t have that till you and your sick friend Partha think that being gropped by 50 years old lady in public transport will be enjoyable in case ladies start giving men the taste of their own medicine.(His comment: “Most of us think those are enjoyable and hence this is not even recognised as crime”)
      I am not against gender neutral laws,but it is a utopian sugesstion for a society like ours. Giving the same punishment as rape to a girl who fails to prove it after claiming will only deter crores of girls from lodging genuine complaints.
      And as of the facts, you are living in a fool’s world if you think that ppl r dumb enough to follow your words when you brush off rape-statistics as media hype,and the next line come up with links from same media house to substanciate your claim.
      Btw, looks like you failed to answer my direct question. How many times have you faced sexual harassment in your life, and please ask your mother/sister/gf to know their numbers too,.Only if you have guts to debate it out square and fair.
      and plz dont come up with more crap of statistics next time you reply. Am talking of first hand reality, in case you know what that means.


      • Dear aunty/uncle
        if you are not against gendar neutral than why you are so aggressive…this shows you attitude towards biased laws…you need to be reanalyse your views before commenting anything…


      • dear aunty/uncle
        You need to review NCRB data…Partha has done very good job…and showed all the true reports based on NCRB data…not like you talikng in air …dont make comments with baseless things auntji or uncleji….


      • The comment ‘enjoyable’ was for guys like you who doesn’t want these laws to be amended, rather make it stricter giving the same logic.

        Also I am not sure if you are knowledgable enough about the trial process in these cases, if you were you wouldn’t have commented about failure of proof is actually a sign of girls inability. They are given all facilities including denial of medical test. A crime that attracts 7 years now (and 30 yrs in days to come) is tried without proper conclusive evidence. Still people like you comment the girls are unable to prove.

        Also when you say the statistics presented is crap, without having slightest idea of crime data, it will be better if you keep your miuth shut. Because even the women’s commission or WCD ministry knows about it. Only some morons like you who doesn’t even have slightest idea can talk like that.


  22. @Neha @Sanjana @ all intelligent, reasonable Ladies,
    Think coolly & tell me, as to why shouldn’t there be
    Gender-Neutrality in all rape / marital / dowry-related violence or cruelty / sexual harassment laws.
    # Is it asking for too much ?
    # Is it demeaning to women ?
    # Is it belittling this crime ?
    # Is it sending a message that we are against punishment of actual perpetrators of this ghastly crime ?
    # Is it that we are isolated males, having no mothers or sisters ?
    # Does it mean that we have no feelings of love, feelings or concern for the safety & well-being of our womenfolk like daughters, wives, sisters, mothers, cousins, buas, well-wishers ?
    # Our main concern is the entrapment of innocent people & their families / semi-innocent participators, who are likely to be trapped in increasing no. of false cases that will be filed, esp. after this heightened oversensitivity of protestors, media, indians as a whole !
    # You see, our expertise doesn’t stem from the fact, that most of us here are highly educated / skilled as Drs, Ers & other professions, but from the fact that we & our entire families ( incl. married, unmarried sisters, mothers, cousins, aunties, aged grand-parents), have been sucked into the vortex of false cases based on fake dowry, marital cruelty, etc i.e. similar laws which are allegedlly designed to protect women but damage 5 times the no. of the very same women( abla naris ).
    All this is despite the fact that, we never demanded / took dowry or caused violence. Its just that, in most cases the marriage/ relationship had failed & the wives took it as a chance to escape, blamefree & that too, with a big ransom.
    Why not be mature enough to accept a failed relationship & end it in a decent manner.
    # In a nutshell, making such laws, amendments, etc in a hasty emotional manner will end up irretrievably damaging the very same women-populace, it was emotionally-envisaged to protect.
    # Demanding respect is futile, as one will then never get it. It has to be mutually introduced, present & nurtured. A husband also needs to be given respect, to be able to give respect.
    # Also, gender-neutrality is based on the v.same concept of gender-equality, which women are oft to demand ! Isn’t it ?
    Wish you could fwd these mails to your other circles / friends, in order to have a better India.


  23. ok men leave everything…innocent men are never going to get justice in India. So i want new laws

    1. A man should be eligible for all the current women biased laws …even if he undergoes sex change operation and become artificial woman.

    2. Government should give some tax concessions to all men who want to change their sex to become women…:)

    See how easy to solve the problem. It is curse from god for us to be born as MALE in this society. Why get angry at women and government?


  24. Well said Partha.

    It is true that misuse of law is already prevailing and with this incident laws are more vulnerable for misuse exponentially. Everyone including muself express sadness over the incident that has happened. May her soul rest in peace. I wish her parents come out of the sudden shock and trauma. Hope the boy along with the victim on bus should be safe too.

    We will witness a sharp increase in false cases thus denying the natural justice to both the parties involved in court cases.

    As a citizen of this country, we need to execute our responsibility before claiming our rights. Empowerment of women doesn’t mean punishing men.

    Laws should be gender neutral.

    When women are so confident that they don’t do crimes, why so they object the concept of gender neutral laws, remember women are the opponents to women and in their battle they involve innocent men and trap them into false cases.

    Looking forward for a bright future for next generations.

    ~Rama Krishna


  25. May I add some points that are missing in these questions asking these ladies, which are:
    Q1 – Why should stringiest punishment and actions NOT be taken against women who file false cases against innocent husbands and his family and relatives with the greed and in the name of extortion of money and property from husband?

    Q2 – Why should women/wives be not punished using marriage as a tool for extortion of money and property by holding innocent husband and his families at ransom?

    Q3 – If the laws are made gender neutral with provision for punishment for perjury and false complaints by any ‘spouse’ (not using words wife or husband), why should these women be afraid of?

    Q4 – Do women claim that all women are true, honest and good and, no women is abusing and misusing these gender biased laws in India? If women are abusing these laws, what should be punishment to them?

    Q5- If women in India want parity with western culture and laws, then why should they refuse using words ‘spouse’ instead of ‘wife’ making to make it gender neutral at par with western cultures and laws?


  26. Why reason with these foolish women, the bastards of renegade feminist and modern misandry. The world can be never be gender neutral, it was made this way. By providing women with so much of artificial power, the balance will tilt and there shall be pandemonium. With the brutal gangrape the feminist media tapped into the public vibe to spread their perverse message. See the news, they want to bring and amend laws to trouble men, even laws that had nothing to do with sexual harassment. The poor girl was merely used as a platform.


  27. its time now to say from government that marriage is a crime, and a every place like workplace, bus, train, flight, auto, etc should be totally seperate for men and women and senior citizens with adequate police protection in all category. women needs protection and men needs evidence as well as protection. even city/village roads should be seperate for men and women. women groups do not want any gender neutral law, what they want is advertisement and ways of extortion, so these means may provide a solution to make our nation progressive.


  28. Laws should be gender neutral. Men are being exploited physically and mentally by women, police,biased laws in favour of women,women organisations etc. Men are falsely accused of eve teasing, rape,dowry,domestic violence. It should not be tolerated at all. Why has media become blind over these issues. I strongly condemn these laws and urge for an amendment.


  29. Faridabad woman killed husband, mom-in-law

    FARIDABAD: A woman has been convicted for murdering her mother-in-law and husband for the insurance claim. Nisha (30) was successful in passing off her mother-in-law’s murder as an accident, but her father-in-law got suspicious after his son’s death.

    Nisha is a resident of Sector-23, Faridabad and worked as an insurance agent in a private company. Greed for a lavish lifestyle and an extra-marital affair prompted Nisha to murder her mother-in-law Angoori Devi on September 13, 2009 with the help of her lover Manish (19) and an accomplice, Shyam Sunder. Police suspected no foulplay in Devi’s death.

    Nisha had made a policy of Rs 50 lakh on Devi and had nominated herself as the beneficiary. Her husband, Arvind, came to attend his mother’s last rites when she got a policy of Rs 30 lakh made in his name. Arvind was killed on October 10 by Nisha, Manish and their two accomplices, Shyam and Murli. The murder could have passed off as accident but Nisha’s father-in-law got suspicious. The case was transferred to crime department and all four, Nisha, Manish, Shyam and Murli, were held.


  30. The Harassed Husbands of India

    The harassed husbands of Borivali, one of the last suburbs on Mumbai’s Western Railway line, used to meet in the Sanjay Gandhi National Park until it began to charge Rs 30 as an entry fee. So they switched to the Veer Savarkar Udyan, a smaller park some distance away, where there is a pond in the middle, abutting which are a series of steps. The husbands take seats on these every Sunday, starting at 11 am. On the day that I go, there are about six of them, plus a mother-in-law and father-in-law. The numbers go up and down. Jinesh Zaveri, who coordinates the Borivali group, shows a text message from someone named Manish. It says, ‘might not be able to come. Meeting my lawyer.’ Another regular Rahul, is in Delhi because his wife has filed a case against him there, and he has to go to the city whenever it comes up. Another member is in Ghazipur for his case, and, says Jinesh, every lawyer he hires ends up being ‘bought over’ by the other side. Manoj is in Mumbai at the moment, but could not come because he got a call from the Indore Police saying they had started for Mumbai to arrest him. “He’s running around about this,” says Jinesh, “And to help him, Shyam (another member) is running around too.”

    That same evening, in a park in Mulund, a suburb at the other end of town, there is another meeting of harassed husbands being held. It is a better attended one. There are 15 to 20 of them seated in a circle on the grass, and all their sentences are peppered with terms like ‘DV’, ‘498a’, ‘bail’, ‘court’, ‘case’ and ‘arrest’. A sallow young man says that he has 10 days to surrender in Jaipur. He wants to know about anticipatory bail. He is told it might be better for him to spend 48 hours in jail and then get regular bail. An old man arrives after some time. He says murder attempts have been on him by his wife four or five times. He is also being tailed all the time. He calls all wives ‘prostitutes’. Most present are not so bellicose. They have plenty to say on the subject of wives. But they speak sensibly and often sound helpless.

    Almost everyone either has a case or had a case filed against him by his wife. The new ones want to know what they should do. The old ones counsel them, and it inevitably ends in asking them to be patient.

    One man says that his wife has filed a case of domestic violence against him in Delhi. When the postman turned up with the summons, he didn’t accept it, but he did pay him some money to open the letter so that he could read the details. He says a Section 498a charge may also be on its way and ask what he can do about it. The answer, again, is ‘patience’. “This is psychological warfare,” Amit Deshpande, the group coordinator, tells him, “There are different stages. The first stage is when they threaten and think that the man will agree and give the money demanded. You have to, first of all, become emotionally strong. Many people come here and say, ‘It’s alright if something happens to me, but my parents should not go to jail’.”

    The man says he also felt that way.

    Amit tells him if he thinks like that, he will keep making compromises to safeguard his parents also, if it was an arranged marriage, his parents are shareholders in the mistake.


    There are several such groups across the country, from Kanpur to Nagpur to Kerala. They have different names – The Indian Family Foundation, Protect Indian Family, Men’s Rights Association, and so on. Some are NGOs, other are forums. There are helplines and activists as well.

    The group operate under the umbrella of Save Indian Family, which began as a Yahoo group setup in 2005. At the time, it’s members were husbands who had run-ins with Section 498a of the Indian Penal Code, which says: ‘Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine.’ What brought on Section 498a, introduced in 1983 were widespread cases of dowry harassment and bribe burning. Offences under it are ‘non-bailable’ and the police have to arrest a husband accused of one – after only a court can grant him bail (not an investigating officer). All the wife needs do to put the husband behind bars is go to a police station.

    Despite the provision’s good intent, it soon became apparent that husbands in many cases were getting thrown into jail over a petty domestic dispute that had nothing to do with dowry. Even the Supreme Court, in a case where 498a had been misused, observed, ‘it is a matter of common experience that most of these complaints under Section 498a [of the] IPC are filed in the heat of the moment over trivial issues without proper deliberation. We come across a large number of such complaints which are not even bona fide and are filed with oblique motives.’ In August this year, the Law Commission released a report that conceded widespread abuse of the provision, especially when it came to arresting family members other than the husband. It noted: ‘The implication of the relatives of husbands was found to be unjustified in a large number of decided cases.’ It went on to add that the conviction rate under Section 498a was low, at 20 percent, and not just because of ineffective investigation. The report said: ‘It is learnt that on a count of subsequent events such as out-of-court settlement, complainant women do not evince interest in taking the prosecution to its logical conclusion.’ According to harassed husbands, this is at the heart of the issue. Lawyers have found a creative use of Section 498a – as a powerful negotiation tool during divorce proceedings.

    Tariq, an instrumentation engineer, who joined the Borivali group just the previous week, says that soon after his marriage, his wife wanted them to move out and live apart from his parents. He didn’t want to, and they separated. First, she initiated a case under the Domestic Violence Act against him. This 2006 legislation seeks to protect wives against physical and mental harassment. It is quasi civil in nature and the husband usually need not fear arrest. Six months ago, however, Tariq’s wife slapped 498a on him. He along with his mother and brother, were summoned by the police late at night and locked up. He says he is not being asked to settle the case through a mediator. “Yeh jo cheez hai, yeh bandar ko mashaal dee gayi hai ki jao apna ghar jalao,” he says (These laws are a torch given to a monkey, asking it to go burn his own house down).

    Tariq came to the group with legal knowledge, thanks to what he had gone through. In the group, knowledge is a common bank that all new ‘victims’ can dip into. At their core, the groups are a support system for those who have been dragged into a tortuous legal process, something like an Alcoholics Anonymous for victimised husbands.

    The 80s and 90s had seen the emergence of fledgling groups of such husbands, but it was the internet explosion of the early 2000s that gave it momentum. A few affected husbands formed a Yahoo group, and when their numbers started increasing, they started meeting offline.

    Even now, it is a loose autonomous agglomeration of groups with no central authority or hierarchy. Once their cases get resolved, many of the husbands go back their lives in second marriages. They drop out of the weekly meetings, but do join rallies and so on against 498a.

    Over time, these groups have arrived at a number of strategies to counter angry wives. One is to never file for divorce. “The self respect of the girl is hurt,” says Jinesh, “She goes into the mode of ‘sabak sikhaoongi’ (will teach you lesson).” If a 498a charge has been slapped, the parents of the husband are advised to disown him on paper so that they don’t get implicated in the case. The main strategy, however, is to just let time pass until the wife realizes that there is no end to the dispute and wants to move on. From their standpoint, the whole point of most cases is to pressure the husband for high maintenance payments. But if the husband holds out long enough, she eventually turns more reasonable in her demands.


    Seen through a ‘man as victim’ prism, the universe of domestic abuse is upside down. Just as feminists use statistics, so do they. The Save Indian Family website says (and every member I meet seems to know this by heart) almost twice as many Indian husbands kill themselves as wives–one husband every 8.55 minutes to a wife every 16.7 minutes. But society, according to them, only seems to debate the wife’s death. Wife-beating might be an issue of concern, but there is a flip side to it. “So many here have been beaten up by their wives,” says Amit, “But no one uses the term ‘husband-beating’.” Likewise, battering of wives by mother-in-law is not the whole truth. Amit says, “A survey has found that mothers beat their daughters eight times more than mothers-in-law do, but no one discusses that.”

    Oddly, the sometimes the solutions converge with those of feminists. They want daughters to be treated as sons when it comes to property inheritance. But this is only so that husband’s maintenance liability comes down if the marriage breaks down. Maintenance, harassed husbands suggest, must be extended in a form that lets an ex-wife sustain herself: say, if the ex-husband funds her education so that she is eligible for a job. “Instead of giving them fish, give them a fishing rod,” says Amit.

    The public discourse, they argue, is completely tilted against the husband, and this usually makes him a ‘criminal’ at the first accusation. The only way to correct that, they say, is to have equivalent agencies protecting them: a Ministry for Men, for example, and a National Commission for Men. And also, slightly surreally, “domestic violence shelters for men” as Amit puts it. “A man facing domestic violence can come and stay over there. And then when we are ageing, men will have their own community shelters.”

    Harassed husbands are not without allies in their struggle. There are affiliated associations like ‘Mothers and Sisters of Husbands Against Abuse of Law’ and ‘All India Mother-in-law Protection Forum’. These are made up of relatives of husbands who have been dragged into legal cases. There is also Child Rights and Shared Parenting (CRISP), a Bangalore-based group of fathers that focuses on custody rights of children. It is led by Kumar Jahgirdhar, whose wife separated from him to marry the cricketer Anil Kumble, after which he had to go through a protracted legal battle over child visitation rights. CRISP wants ‘Child’ separated from the Ministry for Women and Child Development. So, besides a Ministry for Men, they want a Ministry for Children. “Women’s rights and child’s rights are different,” according to Jahgirdhar, “Forty per cent of the country is children, and can you believe there’s no separate ministry for them?”

    The conventional attitude of mainstream society is to dismiss these groups as amusing if not nefarious sideshows. But men caught in serious marital disputes are inevitably drawn towards them. In Mulund, a boyish looking 30-year-old told me how he had contemplated suicide two months ago. He called a harassed men’s helpline and then started attending meetings. He said he had only been married for ten months and was being terrorised by his wife for his house and salary. He had also been assaulted by her. His presence was unusual, since he had no case against him. “I fear that my wife will file a case against me,” he said. They still live under the same roof. In anticipation of trouble, he has been attending meetings every week without his wife’s knowledge. He was trying to anticipate and pre-empt whatever she might do.


  31. Women’s commission head blames women for sex crimes.
    “Women display their bodies an indulge in various obscene activities”, remarks Chairperson of Chhattisgarh State Women Commission Vibha Rao.

    There is the gist of our problem Parth. I hope you see what I meant about NCW. They are no friends of women, they are as big a filthy political organization as the BJP or Congress.


    • I understand that women like you are feeling insecured. Physical insecurity. Now for that women need to undergo physical safety trainings. These incidents are crimes and ppl protesting here are not criminals. We have seen enough of misuse of these laws. All of us understand the fallout of these provisions. There are mostly consensual sex termed as rape in India. You might have heard of live-in relations termed as rape. There are plenty of them. Many others are filed for personal gains, vendetta to stop transfer etc. Men undergo tremendous trauma in these cases and end up in nothing. These women go scot free. We demand punishment for these criminals. Gender neutral laws will not take away justice from women but will provide legal security to men.

      The way out laws are restructured, women are becoming v costly. Then v soon men will think of women as some untouchable godess who are good from a distance as she burns anyone going nearby. No one will have any relation. And if there is whole lot of bias in a relation the man will always be insecured. The sex life will be jeopardized and NO ONE will be happy in their marital life…their is long standing fallout of these changes. We all need to observe restraint. Including women..


  32. I have been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.


  33. i really liked the different views that were expressed here, thanks to partha,neha,sanjana,vinay and others……….yes the time has come for gender neutral laws but having them is not enough its all about implementation which i doubt will ever happen in india…….so sad as real victms will never get justice here…………now i am a bachelor and i have developed a mental block against getting married, atleast in india,thanks to our govt which encourages the misuse of these laws.


  34. You hit the point my friend…. Indian law is tilted in favor of women and is the reason for messing up with lives of many men…

    I agree that there are many crime against women which need to be addressed immediately, but we seem to ignore the plight of those men who are victims of these abuse of law!


  35. […] The moment Nirbhaya happened, the way it was projected in media, we MRAs understood how much lies were floating around, how many stories were being created by media and foreign paid feminist NGOs, the UN etc. But when we tried to sensitize the people we got death threats. But we fought and continued to fight for months against millions of people to stop this madness without caring for our reputation. We knew what was coming but we were insignificant to non-recognizable. Everyone thought of us as potential rapists. That was the time when we warned everyone about the potential future implications of Nirbhaya protests – here. […]


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